Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

嘟--嘟--嘟--嘟--嘟

Be more out of my league Ross back me up here they can never get a woman like that in a million years

你比我想象的要高明得多，羅斯，支持我，他們永遠也找不到這樣的女人。

Oh

哦

But you know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys you could be one of those guys

但你知道，你總能看到那些美麗的女人和那些一無是處的男人在一起，你可能就是其中之一

God I can't believe I'm even considering this. I'm very very aware of my tongue. Come on. Come on

天啊，我竟然在考慮這個問題。我非常非常注意我的舌頭來吧 來吧 Come on.來吧

Yes, hi

是的，你好

Um, okay next word would be Chandler Chandler is my name and

嗯，好吧，下一個詞是錢德勒 錢德勒是我的名字，而

Hi

你好

Yes, yes I did but what I didn't say it was what I was about to say what I wanted to say was

是的，是的，我說了，但我沒說，我要說的是，我想說的是

Would you like to go out with me sometime? Thank you. Good night

你願意和我一起出去嗎？謝謝晚安

Hey, who's this little naked guy?

嘿，這個光著身子的小傢伙是誰？

Little naked guy would be me

光著身子的小傢伙就是我

Yes, fine that is my penis

是的，很好，這就是我的陰莖

Can we be grown-ups now?

我們現在能做大人了嗎？

Who are those people?

那些人是誰？

Got me. Oh, that's Nana right there in the middle

找到我了哦，中間那個是娜娜

You see me and the gang at Java Joe's

你在 Java Joe's 看到我和大家了吧

Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?

哇，莫妮卡，你長得真像你奶奶。她當時多大？

1939 yeah, 24 25. Huh? It's like a fun gang

1939 是的，24 25。咦？這就像一個有趣的團伙

Look look look look. I got Monica naked

快看快看我把莫妮卡脫光了

No, no, that would be me again

不，不，又是我

I'm just trying something

我只是在嘗試一些東西

Oh, hey

哦，嘿

This is so unfair

這太不公平了

So I have a flaw big deal

所以，我有一個大問題

Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying and Ross with his over-pronouncing every single word and Monica with that snort when she laughs

就像喬伊不停地掰指關節並不令人討厭，羅斯每個字都發音過重，莫妮卡笑的時候會發出鼻音一樣

I mean, what the hell is that thing? I

我是說，那到底是什麼東西？I

Accept all those flaws. Why can't you accept me for this?

接受所有的缺點你為什麼不能接受我這個樣子？

I

I

Doesn't knuckle-cracking bother everybody

難道每個人都會為指關節開裂而煩惱嗎？

Well, I I could live without it

沒有它我也能活

Was it like a little annoying or is it like when Phoebe choose her hair

是有點惱人，還是像菲比選頭髮時那樣？

Don't listen to him Thebes. All right, I think it's endearing. Oh you do do you?

別聽他的，底比斯人好吧，我覺得這很可愛是嗎

Oh

哦

Now there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly indeed there isn't I

現在，說正確的話並沒有什麼不對，的確沒有什麼不對。

Should really get back to work. Yeah, otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered

真該回去工作了。是啊，否則有人可能會得到他們真正訂購的東西

The hair comes up

頭髮豎起來

Oh

哦

Looks like she didn't leave in such a hurry after all. Oh, I think this is the episode of three's company with us some kind of misunderstanding

看來她走得並不匆忙。哦，我想這是三人行中的一集，我們之間有某種誤會

Then I've already seen this

那我已經看過這個了

Yeah, sorry the swallowing slowed me down

是啊，對不起，吞嚥讓我慢了下來

Whose little ball of paper is this? Oh, that would be mine

這是誰的小紙團？哦，那是我的

See, yeah, I wrote a note to myself and then I realized I didn't need the notes

你看，是的，我給自己寫了一張紙條，然後我意識到我不需要紙條了

So I balled it up and now I wish I was dead

所以我把它揉成一團，現在我希望我已經死了

Monica you know, you already flipped but it's fine

莫妮卡 你知道，你已經翻過了，但沒關係

Look I'm sorry guys. I just don't want to give them any more ammunition than they already have

聽著，我很抱歉。我只是不想給他們更多的彈藥。

Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow

是的，我們都知道，父母對孩子枕頭的平整度有多麼苛刻

You're scaring me

你嚇到我了

I mean you're like you're like all chaotic and twirly, you know, it's not not in a good way

我的意思是說，你就像一團亂麻，扭來扭去，你知道，這不是好的方式

Calm down, you don't see Ross getting all chaotic and

冷靜點，你沒看到羅斯變得混亂不堪，而且

Twirly every time they come that's because as far as my parents are concerned Ross can do no wrong

因為在我父母看來，羅斯沒有錯。

You see he's the prince

你看，他就是王子

Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born

顯然，他們在我出生前舉行了盛大的儀式

Oh

哦

Rach we're running low on resumes over here. Do you really want a job with popular mechanics?

瑞秋 我們這裡的履歷不多了你真的想在大眾機械師那裡工作嗎？

Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for

如果你要為機械師工作，那就為他們工作吧

Hey, look you guys I'm going for anything here, okay, I cannot be a waitress anymore

嘿，你們看，我什麼都要，好吧，我不能再當服務員了

I mean it sick of the lousy tips sick of being called. Excuse me

我是說厭倦了那些糟糕的提示，厭倦了別人的稱呼。對不起

Rich did you proofread this?

裡奇，你校對過這個嗎？

Yeah, why nothing I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent computer skills

是啊，為什麼不呢，我肯定他們會對你出色的電腦技術印象深刻的

No, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few so what do you think I

不，我肯定施樂複印機也影印了一些，你覺得呢？

Think it's the most beautiful table I've ever seen. I know

這是我見過的最漂亮的桌子。我知道

So, how does this work gonna balance the plates on these little guys heads yeah, we'll eat at the sink

那麼，如何平衡這些小傢伙頭上的盤子呢？ 是的，我們在水槽邊吃

You suck

你真差勁

And this from the cry for help department, are you wearing makeup?

這是來自求助部門的消息，你化妝了嗎？

I

I

Am as of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani actor slash model. Thank you

從今天起，我正式成為喬伊-崔比安尼（Joey Tribbiani）的演員兼模特。謝謝

That's so funny because I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani man slash woman

這太有趣了，因為我覺得你更像喬伊-特里比亞尼（Joey Tribbiani），一個男人和一個女人。

You know those posters for the city free clinic, oh wow, so you're gonna be one of those healthy healthy healthy guys

你知道那些城市免費診所的海報吧，哇哦，所以你會成為那些健康的健康的人中的一員

You know the asthma guys really cute

你知道哮喘病人真的很可愛嗎？

You know, which one you're gonna be no, but here Lyme disease is open so good luck man, I hope you get it

你知道，哪一個你會是沒有，但在這裡萊姆病是開放的，所以祝你好運的人，我希望你得到它

Well, you were right how can they do this to us it's Thanksgiving

你是對的，他們怎麼能這樣對我們呢？

Okay, I tell you what. How about if I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like mom

好吧，我告訴你。我在我家做晚飯怎麼樣？我會做得和媽媽一樣

Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?

你能做出帶疙瘩的土豆泥嗎？

You know, they're not actually supposed to I'll work on the lumps

你知道，他們其實不應該這樣做的，我會在腫塊上下功夫的

Joey you're going home, right? Yeah, and I assume Chandler you're still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays

喬伊，你要回家了，對吧？是啊，我猜錢德 你還在抵制所有的朝聖節吧

Yes, every single one

是的，每一個

And Phoebe you're gonna be with your grandma. Yeah, and and her boyfriend, but we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December cuz he's lunar

菲比，你要和你奶奶在一起是啊，還有她的男朋友，不過我們要在十二月慶祝感恩節，因為他是農曆的

I

I

Remember the day I got my first paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of the mines and eight people were killed

還記得我拿到第一份薪水的那天。一個礦井發生塌方，8 人遇難

You worked in a mine I worked at a Dairy Queen

你在礦井工作，我在乳品皇后店工作

Exciting I earned this I wiped tables for it. I steamed milk for it and it was totally

令人興奮的是，這是我賺來的，我為它擦了桌子。我為它蒸牛奶，它完全

Not worth it

不值得

Who's FICA, why is he getting all my money?

誰是 FICA，為什麼我的錢都被他拿走了？

I mean what Chandler look at that? Oh

我是說錢德勒你看那是什麼？哦

This is not that bad

沒那麼糟

No, you're fine. Yeah for a first job

不，你很好對第一份工作來說

You can totally totally live on this. Oh, yeah

你完全可以靠這個生活。哦，是的

Yeah

是的

Hey, by the way, great

嘿，順便說一句，很棒

Oh

哦

What nothing nothing just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Musburger

什麼都沒有，什麼都沒有，只是你的大衣聽起來很像布倫特-馬斯伯格（Brent Musburger）。

Check it out

查看

James Cowboys

詹姆斯-牛仔

You're watching a football game at a funeral. Oh, it's the pregame. I'm gonna watch it at the reception

你在葬禮上看足球賽。哦，這是預賽。我要在招待會上看

You are a frightening frightening man

你是個可怕的可怕的人

Oh, I hope they're not ruined

哦，我希望它們沒有被毀掉

God what a great day

天哪，今天真是個好日子

What weather wise I

天氣情況

Know yeah the air the the trees

空氣和樹木

Even though Nana's gone. There's there's something almost. I don't know almost like

雖然娜娜走了但還是有些東西我不知道，就像

I'm fine. I'm fine

我沒事我很好

Just just having my worst fear realized but don't tell me don't tell me

我最害怕的事情終於發生了，但別告訴我，別告訴我

Decaf cappuccino for Joey

給喬伊的無咖啡因卡布奇諾

Coffee black

黑咖啡

Latte

拿鐵

And a nice team

一支優秀的團隊

Good for me

對我有好處

I

I

Love your mom's books. I love her books. I cannot get on a plane without one. I mean, this is so cool

喜歡你媽媽的書。我喜歡她的書。沒有她的書我就上不了飛機我是說，這太酷了

Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it's cool. If you're 11 years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of mistress bitch

是啊，你不會覺得這很酷。如果你 11 歲，你所有的朋友都在傳閱《情婦婊子》的第 79 頁

Ah

啊

Not a bingo

不是賓果遊戲

What is this about you you being arrested in London, what is that all about your mom was arrested shh busy beaming with pride this is kind of embarrassing, but

你在倫敦被捕是怎麼回事？ 你媽媽被捕是怎麼回事？ 你媽媽被捕是怎麼回事？

Occasionally after I've been intimate with the man now, why would she say that's embarrassing? I

我現在偶爾和那個男人親密之後，她為什麼會說那很尷尬？I

I just get this craving for Kung Pao chicken. That's too much information

我就是想吃宮保雞丁。信息量太大了

So now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going? Oh fine, I'm leaving for New York tomorrow

你現在正在進行巡迴售書活動，進展如何？很好，我明天就要去紐約了

Which I hate but I get to see my son who I love

我討厭這樣，但我可以看到我愛的兒子

This is the way that I find out most moms use the phone

這是我發現大多數媽媽使用電話的方式

I

I

Don't think that's wrong. I just don't see you as a mom somehow. I don't mean that. I don't mean that bad

別以為那是錯的我只是覺得你不像個母親 I just don't see you as a mom somehow.我不是那個意思我不是那個意思

Oh, no, I am a fabulous mom. I got my son his first condoms

哦，不，我是個了不起的媽媽。我給兒子買了第一個安全套

And then he burst into flame what I just realized Joker is poker with a J

然後他噴出火焰，我才意識到小丑是帶 J 的撲克牌

Coincidence

巧合

Hey, that's that's Joe incidents with a C

嘿，這就是帶 C 的喬事件

Then you ready yeah, all right, give me your foot. Okay on three Ben one, two, three

然後你準備好 是啊，好吧，給我你的腳。好，三本一，二，三

Well, Susan I see what appears to be a dark vet

好吧，蘇珊，我看到的似乎是一個黑暗的獸醫

Yes, it is in fact a dark vet

是的，它實際上是一個黑暗獸醫

Oh, it's open

打開了

Wait, you forgot your legs

等等，你忘了你的腿

All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing I need it I need excuse me, can I have this

好吧，卡羅爾，我需要你繼續推，我需要它，我需要原諒我，我可以有這個

All

全部

Right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room

好吧，好吧，這個房間裡的人有點太多了

There's about to be one more so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner out you go

馬上還有一個，所以不是前夫或女同性戀生活伴侶的人都出來吧

Let me ask you do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?

我問你，你一定要做卡羅爾的女同性戀生活伴侶嗎？

Oh

哦

Kids and then the peacock bit me, please kiss me at midnight

孩子們，孔雀咬了我，請在午夜親吻我

You seen Sandy

你看到桑迪了嗎

I don't know how to tell you this but she's in Monica's bedroom getting it on with Max. That's scientist geek

我不知道該怎麼跟你說 但她在莫妮卡的臥室裡跟麥克斯搞上了科學家怪胎

Look at that. I didn't know how to tell you

看看這個我不知道該怎麼告訴你

And the moment of joy is upon us looks like that nose date pack thing worked out

喜悅的時刻就要來臨了，看來鼻子約會包的事情解決了

Everybody's happy. Hey Bobby

大家都很開心嘿，鮑比

What

什麼

No, I thought I'd throw this out here I'm no math whiz but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here

我不是數學天才，但我相信這裡有三個女孩和三個男孩。

So I'm kissing everyone no, no, no, you can't kiss Ross that's your brother

所以我要親吻每個人 不不不，你不能親吻羅斯，他是你哥哥

Perfect perfect. So now everybody's gonna kiss, but me. All right, somebody kiss me

太完美了現在每個人都要接吻 除了我好吧，誰來親親我

I have something you can do. I have this new massage client Steve

我有件事你可以做我有一個新的按摩客戶史蒂夫

Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef

總之，他要開一家餐廳，正在招聘廚師長。

Um, hi there

嗯，你好

Oh, yeah, no, I know you're a chef I know and I thought of you first but um Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so

哦，是的，不，我知道你是個廚師，我知道，我首先想到的是你，但錢德勒現在才需要一份工作，所以

Yeah, I just don't have a lot of chefing experience unless it's an all-toast restaurant

是的，我沒有太多的烹飪經驗，除非是全烤肉餐廳。

Yeah. Yeah. Well, what kind of food is he looking for? Well, he wants to do something eclectic

是啊 - 是啊 - Yeah.Yeah. - Yeah.他想找什麼樣的食物？他想做一些折衷的東西

So he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu. Oh my god. Yeah, I know. So what do you think?

所以他想找一個能設計整個菜單的人哦，我的上帝。是啊，我知道。你覺得怎麼樣？

Thanks Steve, I just don't really see myself in a big white hat, okay. Oh

謝謝你，史蒂夫，我只是覺得自己戴不上大白帽。哦

Monica guess what?

莫妮卡，你猜怎麼著？

What

什麼

What the hell are you doing you scared the crap out of

你在幹什麼？

Yeah, I got a lemon smush come on she'll be here any minute

是的，我有檸檬糖，快點，她隨時都會來的

Happy birthday pee-hee

生日快樂

Well, maybe we can make a bee out of one of those roses, yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools

好吧，也許我們可以用這些玫瑰花做一隻蜜蜂，對，我們就用我們的特殊蛋糕工具吧

How come you guys have never played poker with us

你們怎麼從來沒和我們玩過撲克？

Yeah, what is that like some kind of guy thing like some kind of sexist guy thing like it's poker

是啊，那是什麼，就像某種男人的東西 像某種性別歧視的男人的東西，就像它的撲克牌

So only guys can play no women are welcome to play. Oh, okay

所以只有男人可以玩，不歡迎女人玩。哦，好吧

So then what is it some kind of you know, like like some kind of you know, like I what is it?

那麼，它是什麼呢？ 你知道的，就像某種你知道的，就像我是什麼呢？

There just don't happen to be any women in our game

只是在我們的遊戲中沒有女性而已

Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker

是啊，我們只是碰巧不認識會玩撲克牌的女人而已

Lame excuse me. It's a typical guy response. Excuse me. Do any of you know how to play? No

蹩腳的藉口。這是典型的男人反應。借過你們有人會玩嗎不會

But you could teach us no

但你能教我們什麼呢？

Okay, so now we draw cards

好了，現在我們抽牌

So I wouldn't need any right because I have a straight

所以我不需要任何權利，因為我有一個直的

Oh

哦

Okay, Pheebs, how many do you want? Okay, I just need two the ten of spades and the six of clubs

好的，菲比，你要幾張？好的，我只要兩張黑桃 10 和梅花 6

No, see you can't do that, okay, I don't need them I'm going for force. Oh you

不，你不能這麼做，好吧，我不需要他們，我要用武力。哦，你

All right

好的

All right, here we go. We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudités

好了，開始吧我們有三文魚卷和各種點心

Monica what are you doing? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable

莫妮卡，你在幹什麼？這是撲克遊戲你不能提供超過一個音節的食物

It's got to be like chips or dip or pretz

必須像薯片、蘸醬或椒鹽捲餅一樣

Okay, so at this point the dealer, you know, we got it we got it let's play for real right

好了，這時候經銷商，你知道，我們得到了它，我們得到了它，讓我們玩真正的權利

Big bucks. No, you sure Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy

大錢不，你確定菲比只是扔掉了兩隻鰺兒，因為它們看起來不高興？

I

I

Have a question

有問題

Well, actually not so much a question is more of a general wondering

其實，與其說是問題，不如說是一般的疑惑

Okay, here goes

好了，開始吧

Well for a while now I've been wanting to

有一段時間我一直想

Yes, yes

是的，是的

Oh

哦

Sorry, that was whacked

對不起，我說錯了

Oh

哦

Poor little tootie is scared to death. She's find his owner. Oh, we just put the poor little tootie out in the hall

可憐的小嘟嘟快嚇死了。她要找到它的主人哦，我們剛把可憐的小嘟嘟放到大廳裡

During a blackout. She'll get trampled. Yeah

在停電的時候她會被踩死的是的

Not so good he walked me to the subway and said we should do this again

他送我到地鐵站，說我們應該再來一次。

Oh

哦

What I said we should do it again, that's good, right?

我說我們應該再來一次，這很好，對嗎？

No, loosely translated. We should do this again means you will never see me naked

不，粗略地翻譯一下。我們應該再來一次，這意味著你永遠不會看到我的裸體

Since when since always it's like dating language, you know, like it's not you means it is you

從什麼時候開始，就像約會用語一樣，你知道，不是你就是你

Or you're such a nice guy means I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you

或者說，你是個好人，意味著我會和穿皮衣的酒鬼約會，並向你抱怨他們

Or or you know, I think we should see other people means I already am

或者，你知道，我認為我們應該見其他人，這意味著我已經在見其他人了。

And everybody knows this. Oh, yeah

大家都知道這一點。哦，是的

Cushions the blow. Yeah, it's like when you're a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep

緩衝打擊是啊，這就像你小時候父母讓你的狗睡覺一樣

And they tell you it went off to live on some farm

他們告訴你，它去某個農場生活了

That's funny that no because our parents actually did send our dog off to live on a farm

真有意思，因為我們的父母確實把我們的狗送去農場生活了。

What hello the Milner's farm in Connecticut the Milner's they had this

康涅狄格州米爾納農場的情況如何？

Unbelievable farm that they horses and then rabbits that he could chase and it was oh

令人難以置信的是，農場裡有馬，還有兔子，它可以追逐這些馬和兔子。

My god

我的上帝

Hey, how was the first day? Oh

嘿，第一天怎麼樣？哦

Excellent. Everyone was so so nice. See it pays to know the man who wears my shoes

非常棒每個人都非常好看來了解穿我鞋子的人是有好處的