It's just some guy I work with.

只是我的一個同事。

Come on.

來吧

You're going out with the guy, there's got to be something wrong with him.

你和他約會，他肯定有問題。

So does he have a hump, a hump and a hairpiece?

那麼，他有駝峰、駝峰和髮飾嗎？

Wait, does he eat chalk?

等等，他吃粉筆嗎？

Just because I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl.

只是因為我不想讓她經歷我和卡爾一起經歷的事。

Okay, everybody relax.

好了，大家別緊張

This is not even a date, it's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.

這根本算不上約會，只是兩個人出去吃飯，並沒有發生性關係。

Sounds like a date to me.

聽起來像是在約會。

All right, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria.

好吧，我回到了高中，站在食堂中央。

And I realize I am totally naked.

我意識到自己完全赤身裸體。

Then I look down and I realize there is a phone there.

然後我低頭一看，發現那裡有一部手機。

That's right.

這就對了。

All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.

突然，電話鈴響了。

And it turns out it's my mother, which is very, very weird because she never calls me.

結果發現是我媽媽打來的，這非常非常奇怪，因為她從來不給我打電話。

This guy says hello, I want to kill myself.

這傢伙說你好，我想自殺。

You okay, sweetie?

你沒事吧，親愛的？

I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.

我只覺得有人把手伸進我的喉嚨，抓住我的小腸，把它從我嘴裡拉出來，然後綁在我的脖子上。

Cookie?

餅乾？

Carol moved her stuff out today.

卡羅爾今天搬走了她的東西

Let me get you some coffee.

我給你倒杯咖啡吧

Thanks.

謝謝。

Oh, oh, no, no, don't, stop cleansing my aura.

哦，哦，不，不，不要，別再淨化我的靈氣了。

No, just leave my aura alone, okay?

不，別管我的光環，好嗎？

I'll be fine, all right, really everyone, I hope she'll be very happy.

我會沒事的，沒事的，真的，大家都會沒事的，我希望她會很開心。

No, you don't.

不，你沒有。

No, I don't, to hell with her, she left me.

不，我沒有，讓她見鬼去吧，她離開了我。

And you never knew she was a lesbian.

而且你從來不知道她是個女同性戀。

Why does everyone keep fixating on that?

為什麼每個人都在糾結這個問題？

She didn't know, how should I know?

她不知道，我怎麼會知道？

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

有時候，我真希望自己是個女同性戀。

Did I say that out loud?

我大聲說出來了嗎？

All right, Ross, look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now, you're angry, you're hurting.

好吧，羅斯，聽著 你現在感覺很痛苦 你很憤怒，你很受傷

Can I tell you what the answer is?

我能告訴你答案是什麼嗎？

Strip joints.

帶狀接頭。

Come on, you're single, have some hormones.

拜託，你還是單身，有點荷爾蒙吧。

See, but I don't want to be single, okay, I just, I just, I just want to be married again.

但我不想單身，我只想再婚。

And I just want a million dollars.

我只想要一百萬美元。

Rachel?

瑞秋？

Oh God, Monica, hi, thank God, I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said that you might be here and you are, you are.

哦，上帝啊，莫妮卡，嗨，感謝上帝，我剛去了你的大樓，你不在，然後有個拿著大錘子的傢伙說你可能在這裡，你在，你在。

Can I get you some coffee?

要喝點咖啡嗎？

Decaf.

無咖啡因

Okay, everybody, this is Rachel and another Lee Ken High survivor, this is everybody, this is Chandler and Phoebe and Joey.

好了，各位，這是瑞秋 還有另一個李肯高中的倖存者 這是大家，這是錢德、菲比和喬伊

And you remember my brother Ross?

你還記得我哥哥羅斯嗎？

Sure.

當然。

Hi.

你好。

Oh God.

哦，上帝啊

So you want to tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?

你是想現在告訴我們，還是要等四個溼伴娘？

Oh God.

哦，上帝啊

Well, it started about a half hour before the wedding.

婚禮前半小時開始的。

I was in this room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at these gravy boat, this really gorgeous Lemo's gravy boat.

我當時在放所有禮物的房間裡，看著這些肉汁船，這個非常華麗的萊莫肉汁船。

When all of a sudden, sweet and low, I realized I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry.

突然間，我意識到，這艘肉汁船比巴里更讓我興奮。

And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me, how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head.

然後我真的嚇壞了，就在那時，我突然意識到，巴里長得有多像洋芋頭先生。

You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but.

你知道，我的意思是，我一直知道 他看起來很熟悉，但是，

Anyway, I just had to get out of there and I started wondering, why am I doing this and who am I doing this for?

總之，我必須離開那裡，我開始想，我為什麼要這樣做，我這樣做是為了誰？

So anyway, I just didn't know where to go and I know that you and I have kind of drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in a city.

總之，我不知道該去哪裡，我知道你和我有點疏遠了，但你是我認識的唯一一個住在城市裡的人。

Who wasn't invited to the wedding, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue.

誰沒有被邀請參加婚禮，我有點希望這不是個問題。