在雪地裡喝啤酒吃披薩 (Drinking Beer and Eating Pizza in the Snow)

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What up, mangy?

怎麼了，癩皮狗？
What up?

怎麼了？
Oh, what the fuck?

哦，搞什麼鬼？
What the fuck?

搞什麼鬼？
Guys, I don't abuse her today.

夥計們，我今天沒有虐待她。
We're going to be making snowmen, drinking beers, and eating pizza in the park.

我們將在公園裡堆雪人、喝啤酒、吃披薩。
Look how happy he is.

看他多開心
Look at him.

看看他
Oh, what?

哦，什麼？
Snow angel.

雪天使
Is it real?

是真的嗎？
Ha, ha, ha.

哈哈哈
Oh, yeah.

哦，是的
Oh, yeah.

哦，是的
Oh, yeah.

哦，是的
That's the boy.

這就是那個男孩。
That's the boy.

這就是那個男孩。
That's that boy.

就是那個男孩
D-E-Z.

D-E-Z。
So I'm rocking with, well, this is my inners.

這是我的內衣。
This is my inners.

這是我的內膽。
These are my long johns.

這是我的長褲。
Heat Tech Uniqlo.

Heat Tech Uniqlo.
Heat Tech Uniqlo as well.

Heat Tech Uniqlo 也是如此。
And Helly Hansen gloves.

還有 Helly Hansen 手套。
I'm going to be wearing more, but I just wanted to show you the inners.

我還會穿更多，但我只想給你們看看內側。
Now I'm going to swap.

現在我要交換。
I'm wearing black socks with hole in them.

我穿著破洞的黑襪子。
Dude.

哥們兒
That's lit, guys.

太精彩了，夥計們。
Then black dickies.

然後是黑色夾克衫。
Work wear check.

工作服檢查。
I'm a working man, guys.

我是個勞動人民，夥計們。
Not unemployed.

沒有失業。
Then what are you doing?

那你在做什麼？
What are you doing right now drinking beer in the park, bro?

你現在在公園裡喝啤酒幹什麼呢，兄弟？
It's like you're an unemployed friend right now.

你現在就像一個失業的朋友。
I don't want to talk about that.

我不想談這個。
And then I got a black thermal on and then black hair, which acts as a toque.

然後，我穿上黑色保暖衣，再披上黑色頭髮，這就成了一頂帽子。
I'm a little bit more prepared.

我準備得更充分一些。
Snow pants.

雪地褲
North Face jacket.

北臉夾克。
I've had this since high school.

我從高中開始就有這個毛病了。
But since I've had it since high school, all the fur is just all fucked up.

但因為我從高中開始就有這個毛病，所以所有的皮毛都亂糟糟的。
I killed a goose for this, probably.

我可能為此殺了一隻鵝。
But if you can see here, it's literally, there's nothing there.

但如果你能看到這裡，就會發現那裡什麼都沒有。
So what are we trying to do now, bro?

那我們現在要做什麼，兄弟？
So we're trying to find a spot.

所以我們正在努力尋找一個位置。
We're trying not to eat shit first, but I want to throw some balls.

我們儘量不先吃屎，但我想扔幾個球。
Oh my god, it's cold, bro.

哦，我的上帝，它的冷，兄弟。
Don't miss, don't miss.

不要錯過，不要錯過。
I used to play baseball, and I used to pitch when I was in third grade.

我以前打過棒球，三年級時還投過球。
For sale, Diane Wang.

出售，Diane Wang。
Bro.

兄弟
Go one more try.

再試一次
Go one more try.

再試一次
Use yellow snow.

使用黃雪。
No, dude, use the yellow snow.

不，夥計，用黃雪。
Is the yellow snow better?

黃色的雪更好看嗎？
Is it better?

這樣更好嗎？
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊，是啊，是啊。
No, no, don't do that.

不，不，別這樣。
That's actually nasty.

這其實很下流。
There's no children.

沒有孩子
Where are the kids at?

孩子們在哪裡？
You know what the kids are doing?

你知道孩子們在做什麼嗎？
They're fucking on their iPad right now.

他們現在正在 iPad 上做愛。
Guys, kids these days, I'm sick of them, bro.

夥計們，現在的孩子，我受夠了，兄弟。
You know, look at this beautiful, fresh snow.

看看這美麗的新雪。
Where are the kids?

孩子們在哪裡？
And before you say they have school, bro, it's like 3.

在你說他們要上學之前，兄弟，他們才三歲。
Yeah, it's 3 o'clock.

是的，現在是3點鐘。
They're playing fucking Fortnite on their fucking iPads.

他們在用iPad玩《堡壘之夜》。
They're on their iPads so much, they wouldn't even realize if they get molested.

他們經常玩 iPad，即使被調戲了也不會意識到。
All right, this is the spot.

好了，就是這裡了
This is the fucking spot, baby.

就是這裡，寶貝
Let's go.

我們走吧
Look at him.

看看他
Look at him.

看看他
Look at him go.

看他走了。
Look how happy he is.

看他多開心
Look how happy he is.

看他多開心
That's fuck you.

去你媽的
That's gleeful, bro.

真高興，兄弟。
OK, we're at the park.

好了，我們到公園了。
We're the unemployed friends on a, what day is it?

我們是失業的朋友，今天是什麼日子？
Tuesday afternoon.

星期二下午
Tuesday afternoon.

星期二下午
And we're going to make a snowman.

我們要做一個雪人。
And then, let's make two.

然後，我們來做兩個。
Let's just try to make one.

讓我們試著做一個吧。
Let's try to make one.

讓我們試著做一個。
I haven't made a snowman for like a decade.

我已經有十年沒堆雪人了。
We're going to give it beer, cigarettes, and pizza.

我們要給它啤酒、香菸和披薩。
Anything a snowman could want these days.

如今，雪人想要什麼就有什麼。
Like, we have to start with a small ball like that.

比如，我們必須從這樣一個小球開始。
And then you have to roll it around in the snow.

然後你還得在雪地裡滾來滾去。
I'll show you.

我帶你去看。
No.

不
Bad.

糟糕。
Yeah, there you go.

對，就是這樣。
See?

看到了嗎？
Are my pants coming down, guys?

我的褲子要掉下來了嗎？
Let me see.

讓我看看
Can I see?

我能看看嗎？
Guys, are my pants coming down?

夥計們，我的褲子要掉下來了嗎？
Ew, stop, stop, stop.

呃，停，停，停
Stop, bro.

別說了，兄弟。
Ow, Derek.

德里克
My bad.

我的錯
What did you do?

你做了什麼？
Oh, fuck, dude.

哦，他媽的，夥計。
It's sticking to you.

它粘在你身上了。
I know.

我知道
Oh, you hit the direct on the mic, bro.

哦，你直接擊中了麥克風，兄弟。
First, we're going to place it.

首先，我們要放置它。
We need to find the path.

我們需要找到路徑。
The path is like fresh snow that hasn't been fucked with yet.

小路就像還沒被人踩過的新雪。
No, but you think the fresh snow is sticky, but it's not.

沒有，但你覺得新雪很粘，其實不然。
That's the common misconception.

這是常見的誤解。
Is that a Mongolian misconception?

這是蒙古人的誤解嗎？
We'll place it down.

我們把它放下來。
Nice.

不錯。
While I roll, I'm going to pack underneath.

在我打滾的同時，我要收拾下面的東西。
Just underneath.

就在下面。
It's about packing underneath.

這是關於下面的包裝。
We're just going to get on our knees.

我們就跪下來。
You know?

你知道嗎？
No need, because I'm wearing all the snow gear.

不需要，因為我穿著所有的雪地裝備。
Don't matter if I get cold.

即使感冒也沒關係。
Don't matter if I get wet.

淋溼了也沒關係。
Dude, is it that much?

夥計，有那麼多嗎？
Bro, this is, I swear this is actually hard to do, right?

兄弟，我發誓這很難做到，對吧？
This is actually, like, how do people do this shit?

事實上，人們是如何做到這一點的？
How do people build snowmen?

人們如何堆雪人？
Derek!

德里克
So guys, me and Derek don't know how to make a fucking snowball.

我和德里克不知道怎麼滾雪球
Maybe because we're dumb as fuck.

也許是因為我們蠢得要命。
I don't know.

我不知道。
But what I'm doing is I'm just going to build a base.

但我現在要做的是建立一個基礎。
I didn't have a dad to show me how to build a snowman.

我沒有爸爸教我堆雪人。
Derek's dad killed himself.

德里克的父親自殺了
You can't see it, but it actually does bulge.

你看不到它，但它確實鼓起來了。
No, like, it's got to bulge right now.

不，現在就得鼓起來。
It's got to bulge.

一定要鼓起來。
It definitely could use some teasing right now.

它現在絕對需要一些挑逗。
You know, a little foreplay action.

你知道的，一點前戲動作。
A little positive affirmation.

一點積極的肯定
There's nothing more, when somebody's exploring my body, there's nothing more that I love than when they give me positive affirmations.

當有人探索我的身體時，我最喜歡的事情莫過於他們給我積極的肯定。
You know, it's just quintessential.

你知道，這就是典型。
OK, so give the ball positive affirmations.

好吧，那就給球一些積極的肯定。
Oh, hey.

哦，嘿
How are you?

你好嗎？
You look so, oh, you taste so good.

你看起來如此，哦，你的味道如此之好。
Oh, wow, that's that Lorne method.

哦，哇，這就是洛恩的方法。
Classic line, guys.

經典臺詞，夥計們。
Hi, sir.

你好，先生
How are you today?

你今天好嗎？
OK, OK.

好的，好的
I might destroy the ball.

我可能會把球弄壞。
I'm going to try to.

我會盡力的。
There we go.

好了
Oh, my God.

我的天啊
Oh, my God.

我的天啊
OK, we have something.

好了，我們有發現了。
We have this up.

我們已經準備好了。
I'm not OK.

我不好。
I'm going to place it.

我要把它放進去。
I'm OK.

我沒事
I'm going to place it in an unused snow and then let's roll it.

我要把它放在一個閒置的雪地裡，然後讓我們來滾動它。
It's happening.

正在發生
It's happening.

正在發生
It's happening.

正在發生
It's not, dude, it's not doing what it's supposed to do.

它沒有，老兄，它沒有做它應該做的事。
I'm copying the YouTube tutorial.

我複製了 YouTube 上的教程。
And what did it say?

它說了什麼？
It said to just roll it, bro.

它說只管滾，兄弟。
They say that the snow needs to be wet.

他們說，雪必須是溼的。
This snow is a glue to help secure the pieces.

這種雪是一種膠水，可以幫助固定碎片。
OK.

好的。
But this isn't wet.

但這不是溼的。
This is not wet snow.

這不是溼雪。
It's like powdery.

就像粉末一樣。
We have water.

我們有水。
I don't have enough water to make a snowman, bro.

我沒有足夠的水來堆雪人，兄弟。
Yeah, we do.

是的，我們有。
No way, bro.

沒門，兄弟
Just to start the base.

只是為了啟動基地。
I'm going to make a path.

我要開闢一條路。
OK.

好的。
With some water.

加點水
It's actually not even a bad idea.

其實，這也不失為一個好主意。
Oh, shit.

哦，該死
Look at that.

看看這個。
Look at that.

看看這個。
Yeah, dude, douse that shit.

是啊，夥計，澆滅那狗屎。
I'm basing this fucker.

我在給這個混蛋當基地
Douse it like gasoline.

像澆汽油一樣澆滅它。
That's actually smart.

這其實很聰明。
Yo, am I dumb or is that smart?

喲，是我笨還是你聰明？
Yeah.

是啊
OK.

好的。
Dude, and this is all just for one fucking snowball, bro.

老兄，這只是為了一個該死的雪球。
And we have to do three of them.

我們必須做三件事。
Oh my god, no, no, no, how about.

哦，我的上帝，不，不，不，怎麼樣。
OK, dude.

好吧，夥計。
I don't want to be pessimistic.

我不想悲觀。
And his pants keep falling down.

他的褲子老是掉下來。
Just continuously.

只是不斷。
Ew.

Ew.
What the fuck?

搞什麼鬼？
Snow angel.

雪天使
Yeah, this is not going to work.

是的，這行不通。
But we're going to do something really nice for y'all.

不過，我們會為你們做點非常棒的事。
I think we throw this on the ground and it'll explode.

我想我們把這個扔到地上，它就會爆炸。
And it's going to look really nice.

它看起來會非常漂亮。
Nice.

不錯。
OK, see?

好了，看到了嗎？
We have pivoted to a new innovational idea.

我們已轉向新的創新理念。
Before the sun goes down.

在太陽下山之前
Snow fort.

雪堡
Sun's going down.

太陽下山了
This is going to be an expedited construction project.

這將是一個快速施工項目。
My pants keep falling down.

我的褲子老是掉下來。
Dude, this is coming together, man.

老兄，這是在一起，男人。
This is what you call a fucking snow fort, bro.

這就是所謂的雪堡，兄弟
I'm going to start the door dash on the pizza.

我要開始在披薩上衝門了。
Are you going to door dash it?

你要去撞門嗎？
No, no, no, to pick up, pick up, pick up.

不，不，不，是撿起來，撿起來，撿起來。
Let's do Papa John's.

我們去約翰爸爸餐廳吧
So, I'm holding six cans of Sapporo.

所以，我手裡拿著六罐札幌啤酒。
We don't have a bottle opener, so we got the cans.

我們沒有開瓶器，所以買了罐頭。
Should I shotgun one?

我該用獵槍打獵嗎？
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊，是啊。
Dude, actually shotgun one.

老兄，真的有獵槍。
I've never shotgunned before in my life, because I think it's nasty.

我這輩子從沒開過槍，因為我覺得那很下流。
OK, we can try it.

好吧，我們可以試試。
OK, let's try shotgunning.

好吧，我們來試試槍法。
And you can watch me.

你可以看著我
Yeah, I'll just record you and laugh.

是的，我會錄下你的笑聲。
OK, and then after, shove a pizza down my throat.

好吧，之後再把披薩塞到我喉嚨裡。
OK, bet.

好吧，賭一把。
In the snow fort.

在雪堡裡
Pizza's been acquired.

披薩被收購了
Beer's been acquired.

啤酒被收購了
We're going back to the spot.

我們回到原地
I'm just going to lick it, I'm just going to lick it.

我就是要舔它，我就是要舔它。
Hold it up for the thumbnail, bro, hold it up.

舉起來看縮略圖，兄弟，舉起來。
Thumbnail, thumbnail.

縮略圖，縮略圖。
We switched hats because he was cold.

我們換了帽子，因為他很冷。
Guys, I'm so cold.

夥計們，我好冷
Put a glove on one hand.

給一隻手戴上手套
Which one's your pizza hand and which one's?

哪個是你的披薩手，哪個是你的？
Left hand pizza hand.

左手比薩手。
OK, left hand pizza hand.

好的，左手拿披薩。
For this, I think I'm going to shotgun a beer first.

為此，我想我要先喝杯啤酒。
And I've never really, I have shotgunned, I'm not going to lie.

不瞞你說，我還真沒開過槍。
I don't, I don't, I don't shotgun that much.

我沒有，我沒有，我沒有那麼多獵槍。
Well, these are big beers, dude.

這可是大啤酒，老兄。
Shotgun as much as you can.

儘可能多地使用霰彈槍。
I'll just shotgun as much as I can.

我會盡可能多地使用獵槍。
So what you do, the reason the shotgun is so like, it goes down your gullet really fast.

所以你要做的，就是讓獵槍飛快地進入你的咽喉。
Yeah.

是啊
I'm not going to do this whole thing.

我不會做這整件事的。
This is 500 milliliters.

這是 500 毫升。
Oh, oh, oh my God.

哦，哦，哦，我的上帝。
It nutted.

它擰緊了。
It nutted on my face.

它的堅果掉在了我的臉上。
Can I just, I'm going to keep doing it.

我能不能，我要繼續做下去。
Do you care about your keys that much?

你就那麼在乎你的鑰匙嗎？
Just try not to break the keys.

儘量不要弄壞鑰匙。
So what you have to do, oh, I'm like juicing it out.

所以你要做的是，哦，我就像把它榨成汁一樣。
You have to open a whole, fuck.

你必須打開一個整體，他媽的。
It would be icky if I knew how to do this correctly.

如果我知道如何正確操作，那就太噁心了。
Yeah, you know why?

是啊，你知道為什麼嗎？
It would be a red flag if he knew how to do this.

如果他知道如何做到這一點，就會引起注意。
OK. Oh my God.

好的我的天啊
That's the whole, fuck, dude, it's cold.

這就是整個，他媽的，夥計，它的冷。
I don't even know if I'll be able to open it.

我甚至不知道能否打開它。
Are you OK?

你還好嗎？
Yeah, time me, ready?

給我計時，準備好了嗎？
OK, three, two, one.

好，三、二、一
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi.

一個密西西比，兩個密西西比，三個密西西比。
You done already?

你已經好了嗎？
That was really quick, guys.

太快了夥計們
Wow.

哇
Well done, bro.

幹得好，兄弟。
It's not done.

還沒有完成。
That was good.

這很好。
Good job.

幹得好
Look.

你看
Why do people do that?

人們為什麼要這麼做？
But now I have to drink it like this.

但現在我不得不這樣喝。
You.

你
Cheers.

乾杯
Cheers to the snow.

為下雪乾杯
Cheers to the snow.

為下雪乾杯
Oh God.

哦，上帝啊
That's how beautiful this is.

這就是它的美麗之處。
Wow.

哇
I'm not even gonna open the garlic sauce yet cause I just want to eat it.

我還沒打算打開蒜蓉醬，因為我只想吃它。
Yeah.

是啊
Cheers, if you're eating along with us.

乾杯，如果你和我們一起吃飯的話。
Oh no.

哦，不
It's so good.

太好吃了
We're gonna need a new battery.

我們需要一塊新電池
Oh my God, fuck.

哦，我的上帝，他媽的。
Double up.

加倍。
Dude, there's an old man that's already amused by it.

老兄，有個老人已經被它逗樂了。
Dude, he's shivering.

夥計，他在發抖
Oh my God.

我的天啊
Me?

我？
You're shivering.

你在發抖
Yeah, I'll be OK.

是的，我會沒事的。
Cheers.

乾杯
The Zahn beer will get me.

扎恩啤酒會讓我心動的。
Oh my God.

我的天啊
Dude, this is great.

老兄，這太棒了。
Salt.

鹽
This is fucking great.

太他媽棒了
One time, there's a guy in Minnesota.

有一次，明尼蘇達州有個人。
Yeah.

是啊
And he's getting drunk with his bros.

他和他的兄弟們喝得酩酊大醉。
That's what you do in St. Cloud, Minnesota.

這就是你在明尼蘇達州聖克勞德市做的事情。
That's what you do everywhere, bro.

你到哪兒都是這樣，兄弟。
You know the Ericsons?

你知道埃裡克森一家嗎？
He was like a big Chad guy.

他就像一個大塊頭的查德人。
So it's like when you would assume he knows how to drink, so his friends left him.

所以，就像你會認為他知道如何喝酒，所以他的朋友離開了他。
Yeah.

是啊
He wanders around, gets found dead in the snow cause the next day.

他四處遊蕩，第二天被發現死在雪地裡。
Cause he decided to take a nap.

因為他決定打個盹
And he froze.

他愣住了。
Yeah, that's what.

對，就是這樣
That's not funny, but like.

這一點都不好笑，但就像
That'll happen to him, brother.

那會發生在他身上的，兄弟
That'll happen.

會發生的
That'll happen to him, brother.

那會發生在他身上的，兄弟
The thing is, don't you think that would happen to me?

問題是，你不覺得這種事會發生在我身上嗎？
How do you think you're going to die?

你覺得自己會怎麼死？
Old age.

老年。
Is that boring?

無聊嗎？
No.

不
It's a realistic answer.

這是一個現實的答案。
Well, old age can entail a lot of things.

那麼，老年可以有很多事情。
Like old people like die of cancer a lot of the time.

就像很多老人死於癌症一樣。
Is that technically old age?

嚴格來說，這算不算老年？
No.

不
That's dying of cancer, dude.

那是癌症晚期，老兄。
I'm going to die.

我要死了
I think you're going to die of liver failure.

我覺得你會死於肝衰竭。
What?

什麼？
Yeah.

是啊
Okay, explain that to me.

好吧，解釋給我聽。
Well, you don't drink a lot.

嗯，你喝得不多。
You're not an alcoholic, but you drink more than me and you can drink way more than me.

你不是酒鬼，但你喝得比我多，而且比我能喝得多。
How much alcohol would you actually need?

您究竟需要多少酒精？
Like, progressively, you know?

就像，循序漸進，你知道嗎？
If you drink the same amount as you do now when you're 60, you will die.

如果你在 60 歲時喝同樣多的酒，你就會死。
Of liver failure.

肝功能衰竭
I'm not.

我沒有。
There's no way I do that.

我不可能那麼做
I'm doing it when I'm young.

我年輕的時候就這樣做了。
Okay.

好的
Do I look fine?

我看起來還好嗎？
No.

不
But that's fine though.

不過沒關係。
We're not meant to.

我們不是故意的。
I'm going to finish this.

我要把它做完
Ready?

準備好了嗎？
Yeah.

是啊
Oh my God.

我的天啊
Is that, oh my God.

我的天啊
Is that your first ever shotgun?

這是你的第一把獵槍嗎？
No, I've done it before.

不，我以前做過。
How many times have you done it?

你做過多少次？
Like six.

比如六個
I'm a single digit guy.

我是個個位數。
Okay, what's the amount of shotguns one can do with it without it being weird?

好吧，一個人能用多少霰彈槍而不覺得奇怪？
Because if you've done like a thousand shotguns in your life, like what does that mean?

因為如果你一生中打過上千次獵槍，那意味著什麼？
That just means you're a partier.

這隻能說明你是個派對狂。
The thing is that doesn't mean you're a partier.

問題是，這並不意味著你是個派對狂。
That means you're a Chad partier to me.

對我來說，這意味著你是個查德黨徒。
Like you think they're in Korea going like, oh, like so young shotgun it.

就像你以為他們在韓國一樣，哦，就像那麼年輕的獵槍一樣。
Yeah.

是啊
I don't think they do that.

我不認為他們會這麼做。
No.

不
Is there a reality where you're a Chad?

現實中你是查德人嗎？
Yeah.

是啊
Yeah.

是啊
Yeah.

是啊
Yeah.

是啊
There's a reality where you're a finance bro.

在現實中，你是一個金融兄弟。
Well, I went to school for econ.

我在學校學的是經濟。
Yeah.

是啊
I was lined up for an internship at the bank.

我被安排到銀行實習。
I ever, oh my God.

我的天啊
I knew this guy was lined up for an internship at a Canadian bank.

我知道這傢伙正在加拿大一家銀行實習。
What was it?

是什麼？
RBC?

RBC?
CIBC.

加拿大帝國商業銀行。
A CIBC.

A CIBC。
But is there a reality where I turned into a Chad?

但在現實中，我會變成查德人嗎？
In my opinion, no, because I'm literally five foot six.

在我看來，不行，因為我只有五英尺六英寸高。
Have you ever seen a Chad business five foot six guy?

你見過五英尺六英寸高的查德商人嗎？
I have.

我有
Who?

誰？
Bring up an example.

舉個例子。
I just see them on Instagram reels.

我只是在 Instagram 卷軸上看到它們。
See, that's a fucking perfect cop-out bro.

看，這就是他媽的完美的逃避，兄弟。
This beer is making me feel warm.

這啤酒讓我感到溫暖。
I'm good.

我很好
Keep drinking bro.

繼續喝，兄弟
I'm telling you.

我告訴你
Dude, my underwear.

老兄，我的內衣
Here's why you could have been a Chad.

這就是為什麼你本可以成為查德。
Bro, on some real shit,

兄弟，來點真傢伙
I need you to check how wet it is.

我需要你檢查一下溼度。
Okay.

好的
Yo, edit this out.

Yo, edit this out.
Is it wet?

溼了嗎？
Is it wet bro?

兄弟，溼了嗎？
It's so wet.

太溼了
I know, I can feel it dude.

我知道，我能感覺到，夥計。
What is this?

這是什麼？
This is a pepper.

這是胡椒粉。
Not the whole thing.

不是全部。
Derek.

德里克
Derek.

德里克
We don't even have water.

我們連水都沒有。
We only have beer.

我們只有啤酒。
Derek.

德里克
That was a big bite.

咬得真重
It's gross.

真噁心
Dude, I can smell it on my hand.

老兄，我手上都能聞到。
It smells spicy bro.

聞起來很辣，兄弟。
It's not that spicy.

沒那麼辣
It's just gross.

太噁心了
It's like pickled.

就像醃製的一樣。
It's like a pickled pepper.

就像醃辣椒一樣。
Is it hot?

熱嗎？
No, it's just pickled.

不，它只是醃製的。
I hate pickles.

我討厭醃黃瓜。
Okay dude, we did one box guys.

好了，夥計們，我們做了一個盒子。
One box is done.

一個盒子就完成了。
Are you still hungry?

你還餓嗎？
Yeah.

是啊
Yeah.

是啊
Okay, let's do the second box.

好了，我們來做第二個盒子。
What are your thoughts on people that have Huskies in LA?

您對在洛杉磯養哈士奇的人有什麼看法？
What are my thoughts on people that have Huskies in LA?

我對在洛杉磯養哈士奇的人有什麼看法？
That's the fucking wrong dog for the wrong region, bro.

兄弟，這隻該死的狗不適合這個地區。
Dude, I used to do this thing.

老兄，我以前也幹過這個
When I was a much younger man, when I was like seven or eight years old,

在我更年輕的時候，也就是七八歲的時候、
I used to walk around the mall with my mom and genuinely get turned on by the mannequins.

我經常和媽媽一起逛商場，那些人體模特真的讓我很興奮。
Like genuinely.

就像真的一樣。
Like while we were passing the store,

比如我們路過商店的時候、
I would just look and be like, oh my God, that's hot as fuck.

我看了之後就會想，天哪，真他媽性感。
Victoria's Secret?

維多利亞的祕密？
Victoria's Secret, anything bro.

維多利亞的祕密，任何兄弟。
Wow.

哇
Michaels?

邁克爾斯？
Yeah.

是啊
Dude, I posted that clip that was like, when I first started out, I was 16 and the entire comment section was, 16?

老兄，我發佈的那個片段，就像我剛出道時，我才16歲，整個評論區都是，16歲？
I was seven.

我那時才七歲。
Like, was I late?

比如，我遲到了嗎？
Yes.

是的。
You were late.

你遲到了
Okay, I was late.

好吧，我遲到了。
You were a late bloomer.

你是個大器晚成的人。
But was I late that much?

但我遲到了那麼久嗎？
We were both late bloomers.

我們都是大器晚成的人。
You were late compared to your average person, but at the same time, if you're seven jerking off and you're a guy, the fuck are you doing, bro?

與普通人相比，你遲到了，但與此同時，如果你在打飛機，你是一個男人，你他媽的在做什麼，兄弟？
Like go watch cartoons.

比如去看卡通片。
How do you even know about what that was?

你怎麼知道那是什麼？
How do you even know what that was?

你怎麼知道那是什麼？
How did your seven-year-old body produce enough sperm to jerk off as a guy in college?

你七歲的身體是如何製造出足夠的精子，讓你在大學裡打飛機的？
I could get boners as a kid.

我小時候就能勃起。
I could get boners too.

我也會勃起
Well, how did you know what that was?

你怎麼知道那是什麼？
Like I never was like trying to.

就像我從來沒有嘗試過一樣。
Actually, I don't think I,

事實上，我不認為我
I can't remember me getting boners as a kid.

我不記得我小時候勃起過。
That's the thing.

這就是問題所在。
If I think hard about it, I can't remember.

我仔細想了想，還是想不起來。
The only reason I know I didn't.

我知道我沒有這樣做的唯一原因。
Yeah?

是嗎？
Is because I told my mom when I saw two girls, it would get long.

因為我告訴媽媽，當我看到兩個女孩時，就會覺得很長。
And why'd you tell your mom that, bro?

你為什麼要告訴你媽媽這些，兄弟？
I trusted her.

我信任她
Yeah, but why'd you tell her that, man?

是啊，但你為什麼要告訴她，夥計？
Cause I didn't know what was happening.

因為我不知道發生了什麼。
I didn't know it was sexual.

我不知道這是性。
I guess, huh?

我猜，是吧？
Did you tell your dad?

你告訴你爸爸了嗎？
Oh, I think I was,

哦，我想是的、
I told my mom while I was in the bath with my dad.

我和爸爸一起洗澡的時候告訴了媽媽。
Cause my mom was like, why is it big?

因為我媽媽說，怎麼這麼大？
Did you get a boner with your dad?

你和你爸爸一起勃起了嗎？
I hope not.

希望不會。
Maybe he got a boner with you.

也許他和你在一起時勃起了
Why?

為什麼？
Who knows?

誰知道呢？
Who knows?

誰知道呢？
That guy was, that guy was interesting.

那傢伙，那傢伙很有趣。
Hey bro, we got a four.

嘿，兄弟，我們有一個四。
I'm not going to lean back, bro.

我不會後退的，兄弟。
Our four wasn't that good, guys.

我們的四人組沒那麼好夥計們
You know what?

你知道嗎？
Today, I'm going to say this.

今天，我要說的就是這個。
Was it successful physically?

它在身體上成功嗎？
No.

不
I can't feel my body.

我感覺不到自己的身體了
Our snow fort sucks, and we couldn't figure out how to build a fucking snowman.

我們的雪堡糟透了，也不知道怎麼堆雪人。
But emotionally, for the soul, this was food for the soul, man.

但在情感上，對於靈魂來說，這是精神食糧，夥計。
Genuinely.

真的
You know?

你知道嗎？
What is soul food, by the way?

順便問一下，什麼是靈魂食物？
It's like food from the, black food from like the South of America.

這就像來自美國南部的黑人食物。
What is black?

什麼是黑色？
Like US.

比如美國。
Okay.

好的
So, so what's an example?

那麼，有什麼例子呢？
Grits.

糝。
I don't know what grit is.

我不知道砂礫是什麼。
Catfish.

鯰魚
Catfish.

鯰魚
Have you ever been catfished before?

你以前被釣過嗎？
Dude, no.

老兄，沒有。
I've been almost catfished.

我差點就被騙了。
Izzy Powers was real.

伊茲-鮑爾斯是真的
I've been, okay.

我已經，好吧。
I've been almost catfished, bro.

我差點就被騙了，兄弟。
By who?

誰？
Well, just people, cause I, the thing is, is I've, I've had Hinge.

好吧，只是人，因為我，事情是這樣的，我已經，我已經有了鉸鏈。
I've downloaded Hinge before.

我以前下載過 Hinge。
Oh shit!

哦，該死
I thought you were talking about like,

我以為你說的是
No, dude.

不，夥計。
I've been on dates with girls before where they just look genuinely nothing like they did in photos.

我以前也和一些女孩約會過，但她們看起來真的和照片上完全不一樣。
Like, you know,

比如說
I guess you want to choose the best photos of you.

我猜你想選擇最美的照片。
That's true.

沒錯。
But at the same time.

但與此同時
You should have, at the same time, you should have friends to tell you.

同時，你應該有朋友告訴你。
Hey, that doesn't look like you, bro.

嘿，這可不像你，兄弟。
We look fuck, like,

我們看起來就像
I think I honestly look homeless right now.

老實說，我現在看起來就像個無家可歸的人。
The hat looks good.

帽子看起來不錯。
Does the hat look good?

帽子好看嗎？
That was my hat.

那是我的帽子。
You want to switch, bro?

你想換嗎，兄弟？
Yeah.

是啊
Let's switch.

我們換一下。
Here, dude.

給你，夥計
Oh my God.

我的天啊
It's so cold when I take the hat off.

我把帽子摘下來的時候好冷。
I know.

我知道
Oh my God.

我的天啊
Dude, I just got so cold all of a sudden.

老兄，我突然覺得好冷。
This hat is the best.

這頂帽子是最棒的。
This is what I'm going to do.

這就是我要做的。
Do you think I look-

你覺得我看起來
What's good, Yanis?

怎麼了，亞尼斯？
Yo, Yanis.

喲，亞尼斯
You want a beer?

要啤酒嗎？
What's good, Yanis?

怎麼了，亞尼斯？
You want one?

你要嗎？
I don't know if you can drink.

我不知道你會不會喝酒。
He's already drunk.

他已經喝醉了
Why is he always drunk?

為什麼他總是喝醉？
I don't know.

我不知道。
He's always fucked.

他總是完蛋。
This guy's life is fucked, bro.

這傢伙的人生完蛋了，兄弟。
Okay, so Yanis is some guy he went to elementary school with.

好吧，亞尼斯是他的小學同學。
And every time we see him around, he's always, like, drunk.

每次我們見到他的時候，他總是醉醺醺的。
Yeah, dude, I have a habit of,

是啊，老兄，我有一個習慣、
I have a tendency to always run into people I know.

我有一種傾向，就是總能碰到熟人。
And Yanis, this guy I went to elementary school with, like, we went to an art school together for like a year, two years.

亞尼斯是我的小學同學，我們一起在藝術學校學習了一年或兩年。
He, every time I see him on the street, he's just on fucking drugs.

每次我在街上看到他他都在嗑藥
Dude, he's literally so high now.

老兄，他現在真的很嗨。
Like, I'm not going to, we're not going to record it.

比如，我不打算，我們不打算錄下來。
Oh, what the fuck?

哦，搞什麼鬼？
Yanis!

亞尼斯
The chips, bro.

薯片，兄弟
Now he's picking the chips off the ground and eating them.

現在，他正在撿地上的薯片吃。
Yanis!

亞尼斯
Don't do that, bro.

別這樣，兄弟
What is he doing?

他在幹什麼？
What is he doing?

他在幹什麼？
Dude, Yanis just poured a bag of chips on the ground and now he's eating them off the ground.

老兄，亞尼斯剛把一袋薯片倒在地上，現在又在吃地上的薯片。
Like, I'm not making this up.

這可不是我瞎編的。
Last time we went on the same bus as him and he was just giggling the whole time.

上次我們和他坐同一班車，他一直在傻笑。
And he wasn't even looking at anything.

他甚至什麼都沒看。
He was just looking at them.

他只是看著他們。
Like, at the, oh my God.

就像，在，哦，我的上帝。
He literally poured all, put all his chips on the ground and started eating them off the ground.

他真的把所有的薯片都倒在地上，然後開始吃地上的薯片。
Now he's drinking, like, a beer and spitting it out.

現在他喝啤酒，好像是喝完就吐出來。
No, he keeps looking at us.

不，他一直看著我們。
I don't know, I don't know what to do.

我不知道，我不知道該怎麼辦。
Dude, please tell me that.

老兄，請告訴我。
Please tell me the mic picked that up.

請告訴我麥克風聽到了。
Please tell me that the microphone picked that shit up.

請告訴我，麥克風把那玩意兒給錄下來了。
See, I don't think we're making it up.

你看，我不認為我們在瞎編。
Like, guys, we're not making this up.

夥計們，這可不是瞎編的。
Like, I'm not about to record him because that's just fucked.

比如，我不會給他錄音，因為那太操蛋了。
But we're not making this shit up.

但這不是我們瞎編的。
He's shocking himself.

他自己都嚇了一跳。
No, no, he's rapping to himself.

不，不，他是在自言自語。
Maybe he's freestyling over a beat.

也許他是在自由發揮。
Yeah, because he has AirPods in.

是啊，因為他戴著 AirPods。
He might be freestyling.

他可能是在自由發揮。
He does have AirPods in.

他確實戴了 AirPods。
Hey, guys.

嘿，夥計們
Guys, like, I hope...

夥計們，我希望...
Is the mic on?

麥克風打開了嗎？
Yeah.

是啊
Okay, I'm doing an outro because I'm so cold.

好吧，我現在來個結尾，因為我太冷了。
Okay.

好的
Thank you, guys.

謝謝你們
And there he goes.

他走了。
He's walking away now.

他現在走了。
He's walking away.

他走開了
Okay, guys, I'm straight shivering right now.

好了，夥計們，我現在直打哆嗦。
We're gonna close this out before I fucking die.

我們要在我死之前結束這一切
Thank you so much for watching this.

非常感謝您收看本節目。
You know, this second channel, we're still trying to get the hang of.

第二個頻道，我們還在摸索中。
Thank you guys for watching.

謝謝你們的收看。
I'm gonna go warm the fuck up now.

我要去暖和暖和了
All right.

好的
I'm cold, Derek.

我很冷德里克
Okay, let's go.

好了，我們走吧
I can't move.

我動不了了
Let's go, let's go.

我們走，我們走。
I can't fucking move.

我他媽的動不了了