Get out of my way I gotta get my nails done

Gonna get my eye brows threaded then then I'll get a funky skunky stripe put on my head

HARRY Oh Peeka-peeka-boo where did I come from? Looks like he gave birth to me from his skunk bum

LIAM Hey fellas could you stop the bike up at the light l think I'm feelin' motorcycle sick

DIRECTOR You're not as cute as these other two

So let's just move you there Now mince about, and act as though you're having fun

NIALL He only gives us one di rec tion

DIRECTOR Now run from the waaaaaaaaaaaave

ZAYN I need more Hair Spraaaaaaaaay

LIAM This wanker is a sad old man

LOUIS He's got us dressed like old man bands

1D Can we take a breaaaaaaaak

DIRECTOR No bloody waaaaaay Now put on your swimsuits

LIAM Aw C'mon. We're quite pasty

NIALL We've yet to develop muscles

ZAYN Oooh This one director won't ever let us leave

DIRECTOR You can leave as soon as you hit puberty

ZAYN Come on mate, its cold in here look over here. Harry's crying frozen tears

LIAM He's dead

NIALL Well they tell us we're like Elvis back when he was a kid

I hope we don't die on the toilet like he did Someone let me off the ride, I'm dying inside

DIRECTOR This is the worlds smallest violin Lets have you twoooo

Remove those sailor suits and dress like prostitutes, yeah

ZAYN The saddest part is we're not getting paid that much

LIAM They never even buy us lunch and that's not faaaaaaaaair

ZAYN How is my HAAAAAIR?

DIRECTOR Now put on these assless chaps I bought them at the Assless Gap

Let's do 50 Shaaaaaaades of Graaaaay

and let him hit you Here's a tissue I just tricked you

I made you sniff glue Now let me fist you Ha ha ha ha I'm just kidding

Just checking if you were listening Let's go hillbiilly hand fishing

Now lets do the ending from Broke Back Mountain

HARRY I think I'm starting to have fun

DIRECTOR Try to make him staaaaay and that's when you say

HARRY AND LOUIS I wish I could quit you