ON A DAY WE'RE PLAYING A GAME CALLED "PITCH PLEASE."

I MEAN-- [laughter]

- IT'S CRAZY. - YEAH, IT IS.

IT'S--WHAT A COINCIDENCE, RIGHT?

- YEAH. - YEAH.

YOU'RE GOOD AT IMPROV, RIGHT?

- UM, I, LIKE-- SOMETIMES IN MOVIES,

I JUST DON'T LEARN THE LINES.

- RIGHT.

- AND SO YOU'RE FORCED TO MAKE THINGS UP.

- RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S GONNA BE PERFECT

FOR THIS GAME WE'RE PLAYING, 'CAUSE WHAT IT IS--

IT'S LIKE--IT'S AN IMPROV GAME, AND YOU KNOW HOW

YOU SELL A PRODUCT ON QVC, BUT-- THIS IS SORT OF LIKE THAT.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO REALLY SELL THE PRODUCT,

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

- OKAY. - SO I'M GONNA GIVE YOU CLUES.

I'LL ASK YOU QUESTIONS.

YOU'LL STAND RIGHT HERE BEHIND IT.

- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT?

- SO I CAN'T SEE WHAT IT IS.

- YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,

BUT YOU HAVE TO SELL IT, ALL RIGHT?

HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA BE SELLING RIGHT THERE.

OKAY?

[laughter]

FIRST OF ALL, WHY--

TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT THESE AND WHY THEY NEED IT.

- WELL, AS YOU KNOW, I USE THIS PRODUCT EVERY DAY.

- EVERY DAY?

- YES.

AND, ELLEN--

- ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT?

- BASICALLY, YEAH. - YEAH.

- AND, ELLEN, AS YOU KNOW, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING UP,

AND YOU'RE KIND OF LIKE, "WHAT DO I GET MY UNCLE?"

- YEAH. [laughter]

THAT'S A-- THAT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

HAVE YOU USED THEM BEFORE? DO YOU KNOW HOW THEY WORK?

- YEAH, AND--

LOOK, MAYBE IT MIGHT BE BEST IF I DO THE JINGLE.

- OH, OKAY.

- OKAY, IT GOES LIKE THIS:

[singing] WHAT DO YOU NEED RIGHT NOW?

THIS

YOU REALLY WANT TO BUY IT

THIS

[laughter]

CAN I BUY 100?

[cheers and applause]

NO

- YEAH.

SO YOU WOULD--

SO THE JINGLE SAYS, "CAN I BUY 100?"

SO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE

MAYBE 100 OF THESE.

- OR YOU CAN JUST HAVE ONE.

[laughter]

- WHEN YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH, WHAT DO YOU--

WHAT DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH?

- UM...

SATISFACTION.

[laughter and applause]

- YOU KNOW, A LOT OF CELEBRITIES OWN THESE.

WHAT CELEBRITIES WOULD YOU SAY OWN THESE?

- CHANNING TATUM, I KNOW FOR A FACT...

[laughter]

OWNS THIS.

- HE FOR SURE DOES?

- YEAH. - UH-HUH.

- YEAH. - YEAH.

- AND HIS UNCLE DOES. - UH-HUH.

[chuckles]

- AND THE GREAT THING IS,

IT'S EASILY STORED UNDER YOUR PILLOW.

[laughter]

- ALL RIGHT.

[cheers and applause]

DO YOU-- WHEN YOU'RE KISSING--

WOULD YOU SAY BEST TO HAVE IT WHEN YOU'RE KISSING

OR NOT HAVE IT WHEN YOU'RE KISSING?

- I WOULDN'T. - NO.

[laughter]

NO. ALL RIGHT.

- [chuckles]

- WHAT WOULD YOU THINK COULD GET STUCK IN THEM?

- TAMPONS?

[laughter]

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS.

SHOULD I-- OH.

[laughing]

[bell dinging]

[cheers and applause]

- YOU DON'T WANT TAMPONS THERE.

NO.

ALL RIGHT.

- OH. - OH, YEAH.

- MY UNCLE REALLY COULD USE THESE.

- YEAH. YEAH, SEE?