ON A DAY WE'RE PLAYING A GAME CALLED "PITCH PLEASE."

由其是我們要玩個遊戲叫: 「歌喉猜」

I MEAN-- [laughter]

我的意思是 (笑聲)

- IT'S CRAZY. - YEAH, IT IS.

- 這真的很瘋狂 - 沒錯, 的確是!

IT'S--WHAT A COINCIDENCE, RIGHT?

這真的很巧, 對吧?

- YEAH. - YEAH.

- 真的! - 沒錯!

YOU'RE GOOD AT IMPROV, RIGHT?

你很擅長現場即興, 對吧?

- UM, I, LIKE-- SOMETIMES IN MOVIES,

恩, 我, 有時候在電影裡面會

I JUST DON'T LEARN THE LINES.

因為我台詞背不起來

- RIGHT.

- 是

- AND SO YOU'RE FORCED TO MAKE THINGS UP.

所以只好強迫自己要掰些東西

- RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S GONNA BE PERFECT

好的, 這遊戲會變得很好玩

FOR THIS GAME WE'RE PLAYING, 'CAUSE WHAT IT IS--

我們要玩的遊戲是, 這有點像是

IT'S LIKE--IT'S AN IMPROV GAME, AND YOU KNOW HOW

即興遊戲, 你知道就像電視上

YOU SELL A PRODUCT ON QVC, BUT-- THIS IS SORT OF LIKE THAT.

購物頻道販售商品, 所以這有點像那樣

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO REALLY SELL THE PRODUCT,

你必須假裝自己在販賣商品

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

但是你不知道商品是什麼

- OKAY. - SO I'M GONNA GIVE YOU CLUES.

- 好吧 - 我會給你一些提示

I'LL ASK YOU QUESTIONS.

我會問你一些問題

YOU'LL STAND RIGHT HERE BEHIND IT.

你就站在這個後面

- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT?

- 好的 - 可以嗎?

- SO I CAN'T SEE WHAT IT IS.

所以我不能看這是什麼

- YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,

你不知道這是什麼

BUT YOU HAVE TO SELL IT, ALL RIGHT?

但是你要試著推銷它, 好嗎?

HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA BE SELLING RIGHT THERE.

這就是我們接下來要推銷的東西

OKAY?

好嗎?

[laughter]

(笑聲)

FIRST OF ALL, WHY--

第一個問題,

TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT THESE AND WHY THEY NEED IT.

跟大家說說看這是什麼, 為什麼大家需要它?

- WELL, AS YOU KNOW, I USE THIS PRODUCT EVERY DAY.

- 你知道的, 我每天都會使用它

- EVERY DAY?

每天?

- YES.

對呀

AND, ELLEN--

而且, 艾倫...

- ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT?

從早到晚?

- BASICALLY, YEAH. - YEAH.

- 基本上, 沒錯 - 是

- AND, ELLEN, AS YOU KNOW, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING UP,

- 而且艾倫, 你知道的, 假日就要來了

AND YOU'RE KIND OF LIKE, "WHAT DO I GET MY UNCLE?"

你有時候會在想 : 「我要送我叔叔什麼?」

- YEAH. [laughter]

- 對 (笑聲)

THAT'S A-- THAT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

這真的是, 你真的想的很周到

HAVE YOU USED THEM BEFORE? DO YOU KNOW HOW THEY WORK?

你以前使用過嗎? 你知道如何使用嗎?

- YEAH, AND--

- 知道, 而且...

LOOK, MAYBE IT MIGHT BE BEST IF I DO THE JINGLE.

也許, 我最好用個廣告歌來說明

- OH, OKAY.

喔, 好哇

- OKAY, IT GOES LIKE THIS:

好的, 歌是這樣唱的

[singing] WHAT DO YOU NEED RIGHT NOW?

(唱歌)你現在最需要什麼?

THIS

它

YOU REALLY WANT TO BUY IT

你真的想要買

THIS

這個

[laughter]

(笑聲)

CAN I BUY 100?

我可以買100個嗎?

[cheers and applause]

(歡呼和掌聲)

NO

不

- YEAH.

- 好的

SO YOU WOULD--

所以你會...

SO THE JINGLE SAYS, "CAN I BUY 100?"

所以歌裡面說: 「我可以買100個嗎?」

SO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE

所以你覺得如果大家都可以買

MAYBE 100 OF THESE.

100個的話很不錯囉

- OR YOU CAN JUST HAVE ONE.

你也可以買一個就好

[laughter]

(笑聲)

- WHEN YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH, WHAT DO YOU--

你如果把它放進嘴裡, 你覺得...

WHAT DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH?

你感覺如何如果你把它放進嘴裡?

- UM...

恩....

SATISFACTION.

很滿足

[laughter and applause]

(笑聲與掌聲)

- YOU KNOW, A LOT OF CELEBRITIES OWN THESE.

你知道, 很多名人都擁有它

WHAT CELEBRITIES WOULD YOU SAY OWN THESE?

有哪些名人有?

- CHANNING TATUM, I KNOW FOR A FACT...

查寧·坦圖, 我保證這是真的

[laughter]

(笑聲)

OWNS THIS.

擁有它

- HE FOR SURE DOES?

你確定他有?

- YEAH. - UH-HUH.

- 對 - 嗯哼

- YEAH. - YEAH.

- 對呀 - 好的

- AND HIS UNCLE DOES. - UH-HUH.

- 他的叔叔也有 - 嗯哼

[chuckles]

(咯咯笑)

- AND THE GREAT THING IS,

這個產品最棒的一點是

IT'S EASILY STORED UNDER YOUR PILLOW.

可以輕易的收藏在枕頭下

[laughter]

(笑聲)

- ALL RIGHT.

- 好的

[cheers and applause]

(歡呼和掌聲)

DO YOU-- WHEN YOU'RE KISSING--

你會....你在接吻時

WOULD YOU SAY BEST TO HAVE IT WHEN YOU'RE KISSING

你覺得在接吻時使用產品

OR NOT HAVE IT WHEN YOU'RE KISSING?

或是不建議在接吻時使用?

- I WOULDN'T. - NO.

- 我不建議 - 你不建議

[laughter]

(笑聲)

NO. ALL RIGHT.

不建議, 好吧

- [chuckles]

(咯咯笑)

- WHAT WOULD YOU THINK COULD GET STUCK IN THEM?

你覺得什麼東西會把它卡住呢?

- TAMPONS?

是衛生棉條嗎?

[laughter]

(笑聲)

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS.

我眞的不知道這是什麼

SHOULD I-- OH.

我應該... 噢！

[laughing]

(笑聲)

[bell dinging]

(鐘聲)

[cheers and applause]

(歡呼和掌聲)

- YOU DON'T WANT TAMPONS THERE.

你絕不會希望衛生棉條在裡面

NO.

絕不會

ALL RIGHT.

好的

- OH. - OH, YEAH.

- 噢 - 喔, 沒錯

- MY UNCLE REALLY COULD USE THESE.

我的叔叔真的可以用

- YEAH. YEAH, SEE?

對吧, 沒錯吧?