Here's the college you're going to.

and here are the six monsters you'll have for roommates.

Well not literal monsters but, you'll see.

Hey!

He's a perfect model of efficiency, helpful, friendly even.

He doesn't really understand your more human imperfections.

His programming is rigid, and well-defined.

Violate it at your own risk.

Watch! His head will explode any second now.

What do you want me to do? He eats at (a) dirty plate...

So that wasn't his head.

There's no firm evidence this roommate exists.

Hello?

Does he spend all his time with his girlfriend?

At home?

Things move around mysteriously while you're not looking.

Is he dead?

If so, do you get a free pass this semester or something?

You'd think he might be trying to communicate with you.

But you'll never know for sure.

Shit.

Looking like an ad for hair gel doesn't automatically make him a monster.

But you've noticed things.

He stays up all night.

can't stand the sunlight

and brings home a different victim every night.

Can you please keep it... HEEEE

Ahhhhhhh

And you're not saying he sucks their blood for sustenance.

Hey.

Want a grab or not?

Seriously?

But you've never seen him eat anything.

Weird.

He must have supernatural powers.

Otherwise, how the f**ks is he getting laid more than you?

So you're from...

#%^%^@^%

Wherever he's from, he has a poor judge of social norms. Hey!

Hey!

^%#^@^%!%@

strange habits

#&^&*@(^##%

and this thing.

If it's a bong, you wanna hide it.

If it's a dildo, you don't wanna touch it.

And if it's neither are you...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Like an ending story about aliens, your friends will never believe you.

Making weird noices "blaaablaaa"

Where are you going?

The first thing you notice is the smell.

So, what died in here?

He doesn't seem to notice it.

Hey, my parents are coming today. And I was kind of hoping we can clean...

He just shambles around, leaving little pieces of himself wherever he goes.

Hey! How was your day?

Cool.

And not to force the metaphor here,

but he does seem to want your brains.

Jesus!

Get your own chem lab, man!

You have to get your own place.

Finally, that holy treasure!

A single.

A bachelor pad

made a bachelor kingdom. All to yourself.

Maybe you'll have a three-way.

Or a four-way.

Or just stay in bed all day eating cake and hot wings.

What was that?

Probably nothing.

Just a burglar, demon, Freddy Krueger, Cthulhu...

Shit, shit!

Maybe you'll get the vampire call.