David.

I've already forgotten your name.

Me, too.

[If people were honest at the office]

No, I didn't finish that report, but I did get 160 pages deep on Reddit.

I know I am smarter than you, but I am an intern so I am gonna pretend like I am not.

This is how my boss spoke to me, so that's how I'm gonna speak to you.

Hey, guys.

I am not paying attention to this conference call, but I am interjecting so that you know that I am here.

Dave, I got your e-mail, but I didn't respond because I think you are incredibly stupid.

If this goes right, I am taking all the credits.

If it goes wrong, you're getting all the blame.

Oh, I was just on facebook.

Oh, I was just on Etsy.

Oh, I was just looking at the closest thing I could get to porn.

I am gonna see you more than my girlfriend, so I am probably gonna develop a crush on you.

Can you tell I had two beers with lunch?

That's great.

Can you set up a meeting so you can repeat what you just told me?

Hey, everyone hates the quote in your e-mail signature.

You should see this conversation we're having about you on GChat.

The way you are looking at me today means I am never gonna wear this skirt again.

I really don't care how your weekend was.

This is my roommate, Henry.

I just want to bring him in and show how grown-up my job is.

I'll say thank you, but I don't mean it.

You are my least favorite person here.

I am this close...

I am...

Can you go...

I am this close to getting a back rub from my secretary.

Do not screw it up for me.

Alright. We're good. Let's go.