This city is a disease.

The night is filled with the cries of the innocent

as the unjust prey upon the weak.

Corruption runs through its veins like a toxin,

poisoning its citizens.

Crushing their every last hope they have...

except for one.

Me.

Batman.

Who are you talking to?

Ah, The Bloser,

the world’s most depressing superhero.

I don’t wanna talk about it.

Your name makes you sound like “loser.”

What?

No, it’s because I’m blue

and I’m a total bruiser.

“The Bloser.”

Worst name ever.

Better than freaking Batma-

HUSHSHhhhshsh.

I’m picking something up

with my hyper-hearing!

It’s Commissioner Chad-Cop!

Let’s go!

What happened here?

He... [cough] he flew in and,

and teabagged everybody.

Huh-uh! What?

He said he wanted to turn the whole world

into black and white.

The world’s already gray to me...

Shut up, Bloser.

Oh my god, he’s so depressing.

Who did this?

You...you have to stop him.

We all look...so...boring now.

He’s dead.

Just like I am inside.

There’s only one villain who could be so colorblind.

Ahhahahahahahahaha

and that one villain is ME!

EARL GRAY!

You!

Ah, the city’s favorite hero...

Batman...

and his sad little friend, Bloser.

Here to save the day right on shhhedule.

Haha, speaking of schedule...

it’s TEA TIME!

Damn that caf-fiend!

Let’s break his bank!

Agh! A diamond encrusted monocle!

He’s got so much bling.

Hahaha quite pathetic! Quite!

Do you really want to play with the upper crust?

How about some badminton?

In America we play BASEBALL!

Here, it’s about time I deposit

some of my stocks and BOMBS!

Lord Tourettes... NO!

Oh, why this shade looks just

perfectly GAY on me!

Oh no! It appears I’ve made

quite a mess. Butlers!...

...do my dirty work!

You’re unemployed!

You were adopted!

Global warming!

No one loves you!

You’re getting old!

Your parents are dead!

Too soon.

Heheheheh.

We gotta take out Earl Gray!

We need something colorful!

Wait, I have an idea.

Red, shoot your eye lasers right when I tell you

and this might just work.

Red?

That’s not my name.

Do I really have to-

Yes.

Batman,

shoot lasers out of your eyes when I tell you-

I’M BATMAN!

What?! Impossible!

Hey Earl Gray,

you know what happens to criminals?

They go to prism.

Ah! Fan-FUCKING-tastic you two!

You’re heroes.

I was a hero before it was cool.

Crime. It will always haunt this city.

But where there are thieves,

justice will be watching.

Where there are liars,

the truth will rise to meet them.

And where there are villains,

there will always be one hero

ready to fuck their shit up.

Me...

Batman!

And me, The Bloser.

But mostly Batman.

JUSTICE HOOOO!

The Bloser!!

Wait, I can’t fly!