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  • - Congratulations... - Thank you.

  • - on the brand-new baby, and... - Thank you.

  • - Her name is Wyatt? - Wyatt Isabel, yeah.

  • - Wyatt Isabel. And how is she?

  • Is she a good baby, is she sleeping through the night?

  • - She's a really good baby.

  • She was 9 1/2 lbs. when she was born.

  • - Lord. - Yeah, yeah, uh huh.

  • Yep. - Did you get a really good

  • push gift for that?

  • - Yes, I did! - Oh, good.

  • - Yes, I did.

  • But because she was so big, she was a hearty little thing,

  • we skipped the newborn stage.

  • And so she was, like, a good hearty eater.

  • - You had clothes that people gave you--

  • - Yeah, never fit. - Yeah.

  • "Newborn"--never happened. Newborn diapers never happened,

  • and newborn clothes never happened.

  • - Wow. - Zero to three.

  • She's four months old and wears six month clothing, 6-9.

  • - Wow. - She's a big girl, y'all.

  • - Yeah. [laughter]

  • - Yep. - And she's--but she's--

  • She's mellow and good and all that stuff?

  • - Yeah. - Because Ashton said

  • that you're not--and I know this is--you know, a lot of people

  • don't have help, but you're in the position

  • where you could have help... - Mm-hmm.

  • - and you're choosing not to have help.

  • - Yeah. - Wow.

  • - I mean, still to this day? - No, listen--

  • [applause]

  • Yeah. Here's the thing.

  • When I go back to work full-time

  • and have to have 17-hour workdays,

  • I'm going to need somebody to come and help me,

  • because I can't do both,

  • but because I'm in a very specific place in my life

  • where I could take time off, I did.

  • And I don't think that everybody has that privilege.

  • I think people nowadays have to go back to work right away,

  • and I didn't, and so I took advantage of it.

  • Like, I love the fact that the first three months,

  • she and I were up every night, and I figured her out

  • and she figured me out.

  • She now sleeps in her own crib in her own room,

  • and I'll never have that time again.

  • And so for me, it was like a really nice three months.

  • - That's amazing. - Yeah.

  • - Though, I mean, I'll just say, if I had a baby,

  • I'd have, like, 15 people there. I would have--

  • [laughter]

  • - I'll come help you.

  • - Please. - I love it.

  • - Yeah, really? - Yeah, I really do.

  • - 'Cause it's a lot of--I mean, is there--what's surprising--

  • is there anything that's a surprise to you?

  • - Yeah, well, it's not so much surprising, I guess.

  • But um...so you think you know love--

  • and I know people say this all the time--

  • but the truest meaning of unconditional love is my child.

  • Like, I thought I loved Ashton. I thought I loved my parents,

  • my dogs. Like, I was like, "I know love."

  • It's such a different aspect of it.

  • It's not like it's greater or lesser,

  • it's just in a whole other field, and...

  • if she murdered somebody in cold blood, I would love her.

  • Like, I would be like, "That's okay."

  • [laughter] Like, she--

  • [stammering]

  • [laughs loudly]

  • But it's true. It's so weird,

  • but when she was born, I was like,

  • "This is the most incredible thing that's ever happened."

  • - And he must be just a great dad.

  • - Yeah, he is an amazing dad.

  • I wouldn't have done this by myself.

  • - Yeah. - He is 100% present.

  • He, you know-- he always said that--

  • I am breastfeeding, so I provide the food for the baby,

  • so his whole thing is changing diapers.

  • Like, he'll never be able to feed her, in the early stages.

  • Now he can, 'cause she's partially bottle fed.

  • But he--the second she was born, he changed the first diaper,

  • and has changed multiple diapers ever since.

  • Like, if he's home, he changes the diaper.

  • He became a master swaddler.

  • Like, he can swaddle anyone's baby.

  • Like, if your baby needs to be swaddled, he will do it.

  • - Call him? - Call him, he's a pro.

  • - Call Ashton. If your baby needs--

  • you've heard it here, just call Ashton.

  • - Call Ashton Kutcher. - He will swaddle your baby.

  • - Oh, there he is. Look at how happy we are.

  • Aw, look at us. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

  • [applause]

  • - The swaddler. - The swaddler!

  • - Swaddler.

  • Well, we'll have a phone number. If you get to our website,

  • we'll let you know how to get in touch with Ashton

  • if your baby needs to be swaddled.

  • And now, there's--there's something he posted.

  • It's my duty--I'm your friend, but it's my duty

  • as a talk show host to ask you the question if you're married,

  • because he posted this. - Yeah.

  • - So it means something, I would think.

  • - Well, you can ask that question.

  • It says "The Kutchers," so it sounds like you're married.

  • I'm gonna say yes. - [laughs] I don't know.

  • - I'm gonna say yes. - I don't know!

  • - Yes. - I don't know.

  • - We could just be a plural, like, you know, my daughter

  • has his last name, legally, so thus there's multiple Kutchers.

  • - Right. - He has a brother--

  • - Why would it be such a secret if you were married?

  • Why--are you still trying to stay on the market

  • for other men that think you're, like--

  • Like, if there are guys out there--and he's sexy, too--

  • I--It's--I see. It's a whole professional game.

  • - You got it figured out, Ellen. - I got it figured out.

  • - You got it, you're on it. - Yeah.

  • - But you're married. Okay, so--

  • [laughter]

  • Uh oh. Did you want to see more videos?

  • Hold on.

  • - What's happening in your mind right now, Sophia Grace?

  • Express everything you've ever thought!

  • - Pink!

  • [loud laughter] - Good girl, good girl!

  • [laughter]

  • She's thinking in color!

- Congratulations... - Thank you.

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