He's like, "Gabe, check it out. CHP, California Highway Patrol, wants to hire you to do a show."

I go, "Really? What does it pay?"

"They want you to donate your time."

"I think I'm busy."

"They told me to let you know you have a warrant in the city of Fresno, California."

I'm like, "Oh, they're good."

So I did the show.

And I'm gonna tell you guys right now.

I'm gonna tell you guys right now, it was one of the scariest shows I ever did.

A room full of nothing but cops.

Everybody's drinking a lot.

And I'm scared, because if they get ghetto, who do I call?

You know, I got to go out in the parking lot and find some gang member.

"Hey, back me up!"

So the show went good.

It went so good that they asked me to do another show in California, in San Diego, for the California Highway Patrol Border Division.

And I tried to make up an excuse that my car wasn't working right.

They said, "No worries. We understand."

They sent a patrol car to my house with a freaking uniformed officer.

And I was like, "Oh, my God."

Best part was I didn't tell my family he was coming.

Oh, yeah, sometimes you have to create your own entertainment.

It was hysterical.

5:00 rolled around, I'm like, "He should be here any minute."

Sure enough...

"Frankie! Frankie, can you get the door, please?"

"Okay, Gabriel." So he goes to the door.

Comes back, and he's got, like---you know, he's like...

"Gabriel. Gabriel, the police are here."

"Why are you whispering?"

"'Cause something's gonna happen."

When he said that, I'm like, "Oh, I got to freaking let him have it now." Right?

I said, "Oh, my God, Frankie, they found me."

"What do you mean, Gabriel?"

"I got to go, Frankie. I got to go. Take care of your mom for me, okay? I love you. I love you."

"No!"

"I got to go, Frankie."

And I saw the officer, I said, "Pretend you're arresting me. I want to freak out my kid."

"No problem. Turn around and put your hands behind your back."

"I can't reach. Just hold my hand. Walk me to the car. Just walk me to the car. Come on, just walk me to the car.

He doesn't know the difference, dude. Just walk me to the freaking car. Come on."

I get to the cop car.

He throws me in the backseat, right, and slams the door.

And I ask him, "Is it okay if I yell out the window to freak out my kid?"

"You want to use the microphone?" - "Yeah!"

Freaking...

"Here you go, sir."

And he hands me the microphone, and I said, "Frankie, this is the police. We have your father. We're coming back for you in one hour. Do your homework."

One minute later, my girlfriend calls me.

"You're an ass!"

"What's he doing?"

"He's doing his homework."

"That's called parenting, baby."