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  • He's-- he's smart, he's sweet, he's funny.

  • We had a wonderful first meeting.

  • I see incredible potential here.

  • So all systems are go?

  • Based on the initial personality assessment,

  • I think that I can have your son moved out of this house

  • And living on his own by June 15th.

  • (exclaiming) hallelujah!

  • Well, you know, you'd be amazed at how many adult children

  • Are still living at home.

  • Now, it's my opinion that the root cause is a lack of self-esteem.

  • Oh, oprah talks about that all the time.

  • Oprah don't know crap!

  • Heck, when I was growin' up, nobody had self-esteem,

  • And we turned out fine.

  • You're a rock, al.

  • You make me a better woman.

  • Look, many young men who should be able to move out, simply can't.

  • It's called "failure to launch."

  • And that's where I come in.

  • Young men develop self-esteem best during a romantic relationship,

  • So I simulate one.

  • We have a memorable meeting.

  • We get to know each other over a few casual meals,

  • He helps me through an emotional crisis,

  • Then I meet his friends,

  • If he has any,

  • Uh, then I let him teach me something...

  • But the bottom line is, he bonds with me.

  • He lets go of you. He moves out.

  • But how do you make sure that he'll fall in love with you?

  • You look nice, you find out what they like,

  • And then you pretend to like it, too.

  • That is pretty much how it works.

  • (chuckling)

  • What about sex?

  • Al, I never have sex with a client.

  • Besides, I need to keep tripp motivated,

  • And let's face it, after men have sex...

  • (groaning)

  • Is there anything that we need to do?

  • Well, for starters, you could make life a little more difficult for him.

  • You know, uh, more chores, more responsibilities, that kind of thing.

  • I just think you should know that tripp has had some rough breaks.

  • I promise you, when this is over,

  • Tripp is going to be an independent,

  • Self-sufficient adult.

He's-- he's smart, he's sweet, he's funny.

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