These are your friends and family, the people who matter, who love you, who make life worth living.

And these are the people you spend all your time with.

The Six Co-Workers You'll Have.

The Crush.

You're like Jim and Pam.

Yeah, let's pretend that's the perfect example of a workplace romance.

Oh, okay, well, at least your ears work better than your dick.

One night, you finally work up the courage.

Remember when you saw "Thor: The Dark World" on a plane and thought it was your favorite movie for months until you watched it at home and realized you didn't love it？

Yeah. You'll be taking the long way to the break room for a few weeks.

The Creep.

Drunken mistakes aren't the only office hazard. There isn't just one species of creep.

There's a whole spectrum, and your local variety may differ by climate, available prey, and proximity of J. crew outlets.

[Preppy Creep] You free Friday night?

Because my dad's got an open tab at the yacht club.

[Regressive Asshole Creep] Please, a dame only gets paid less if she can't keep up with the men around her, or she's ugly.

[Too-Touchy Too-Feely Creep] You know Janice carries a lot of tension on her shoulders, too.

I think it's your tense.

The New Guy.

Right when you're wondering if you can still call yourself a recent college graduate, he shows up.

Who is this guy?

His diet would put you in a coma.

Yet he still seems to have endless energy.

Oh, hey! What'd you do last night?

Nothing too crazy. Shots at beauty bar then danced until 2 a.m. and called it an early night, you?

I watched Shark Tank then went to bed.

The worst part is, if you see him like that, how does he see you?

See ya.

I miss the 90s...

Maybe you should work harder.

Maybe you need to be like...

The Prince.

He thinks the word Machiavellian is a compliment.

He's not contented to just work, he wants to rule.

My lord, do these expense reports from Cynthia in marketing...

Do they not seem embroidered?

Perhaps I should be the one to go to the kingdom of Philadelphia for the sales conference in her stead.

I promise I will secure the favor of house Tampax.

Of course, ambition is a double-edged sword.

And so is this.

I thought the sales rep really like me! Please, don't take my f***ing spot!

Douche.

The Prisoner.

Well, back to 40 years of hard labor.

Not everybody considers this job an opportunity, for some, it's a life sentence.

Mommy numbed me after college. I was driving back from my sixth Burning Man, and I needed that money, man.

Oh, worst mistake of my life.

She spends all her time talking about what she's going to do when she finally gets out of this place.

You know what will be fun? A private plane or do... you know, like in "The Wolf of Wall Street".

The irony is, when prisoners do finally get their freedom, they usually have no idea what to do with it.

Hi, yes, do you still rent the planes with the rotating beds?

Well, most of them, anyway.

Oh, uh, quick question. Is cocaine legal yet? Oh, what a shame!

You're different, though.

You want to enjoy your job, but you don't wanna let it define you.

Now tell me more about this Snapchat.

You want to like the people you work with but some distance is nice, too.

The color purple.

And I mean the actual color purple not the one with Oprah.

The key is balance. You decide work and life, personal and professional.

If you're careful, you will make it out of here without any type at all.

You ever notice how she just stares like she's hearing voices or something?

Yeah, total weirdo.

The Total Weirdo. (You). -Wait!

No!

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