BRIAN! SLOW DOWN IN THE HALLWAY!

CAN'T, KI! GOTTA HUSTLE!

GOT A TELEGRAM FROM MY MOM.

BRIAN! WHAT'S THE HURRY?

MEETIN' MY MOM AT THE BUS STOP.

WE STILL ON FOR THAT THING TODAY?

YEP. DEFINITELY.

HEY, BRIAN, YOU STILL UP FOR THAT THING LATER?

OH, CRAP, THAT THING THAT WAS TODAY?

I'VE GOT ANOTHER THING WITH JENNY.

IT'S, UH, FPS STUFF.

OH.

I'LL DE-WAX THE BOOGIE BOARDS.

AWESOME. WE'LL HANG OUT TOMORROW, ALL RIGHT?

( nervous muttering )

ALL RIGHT.

MY MOM'S COMING TO VISIT, AND I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HER SINCE I LEFT FOR VGHS.

SOUNDS BORING.

WELL, IT'S NOT.

( cat meows )

CHEETO?

DUDE! YOUR MOM'S A CAT!

YOUR MOM'S A CAT!

( alarm rings )

PRACTICE. TIME FOR PRACTICE.

I THOUGHT WE WERE PRACTICING,

BUT IF YOU NEED MORE TIME TO REVIEW...

AHHH! ( chuckles )

BUT SERIOUSLY, I'M GONNA GO NOW,

AND THEN IN TWO AND A HALF MINUTES, YOU CAN--

YOU'RE KIND OF FREAKIN' OUT ABOUT THIS, AREN'T YOU?

FREAKING OUT? I'M NOT FREAKING OUT. YOU'RE FREAKING--

( alarm rings )

SORRY. SAVES THE ALARM.

OKAY, I'M FREAKING OUT.

DUDE, CHILL. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. I'M JUST...

YOUR MOM CAN'T FIND OUT ABOUT US.

I MEAN, NOBODY CAN FIND OUT ABOUT US,

AND THIS IS FOR REAL NOW.

I'M JUST-- I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA BLOW IT.

BRIAN, DISARM THE BOMB. IT'S GONNA BLOW.

ARE YOU SERIOUS, BRIAN?

YOU SUCK!

CAN'T DISARM A BOMB. I CAN DISARM A BOMB.

I CAN DISARM TWO BOMBS.

SORRY, GUYS.

MY BAD.

BOMB DISARMS ARE NEWB 101.

ANY PRO SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT BLINDFOLDED.

COACH, I-I SWEAR I CAN NORMALLY DO THIS.

( class bell rings )

ON THAT UPLIFTING NOTE, THAT'S PRACTICE.

EVERYONE'S DISMISSED.

JENNY, STICK AROUND.

SO, ABOUT BRIAN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK HE'S STILL IN THE ROOM, MOM.

NOT FOR LONG. I--

( objects clatter )

( chuckles ) SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA.

( door opens, closes )

WELL, THAT WAS AWKWARD.

I WANT TO BENCH BRIAN TOMORROW.

OKAY.

WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME?

YOU'RE MY CAPTAIN. I WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINION.

WELL, HE'S ONE OF THE STRONGEST PLAYERS IN OUR TEAM.

I WOULDN'T BENCH HIM JUST BECAUSE HE

COULDN'T DISARM ONE STUPID BOMB.

GUYS LIKE BRIAN ARE ALL TALENT AND NO DISCIPLINE.

IT SHOWS UP IN STUFF LIKE THIS.

ONE STUPID BOMB COULD MAKE US LOSE THE GAME TOMORROW.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

YEAH. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE MADE UP YOUR MIND.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT: YOU MAKE THE CALL.

BENCH HIM OR NOT. JUST LET ME KNOW BY GAME TIME.

WENDELL. RULE NUMBER FIVE. NO SODAS IN THE HALLWAY.

D'UH.

SORRY.

WENDELL!

NO THROWING TRASH IN THE HALLWAYS.

RULE NUMBER 38.

D'OH! I-- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

UNFORTUNATELY, I CAUGHT YOU WITH SILLY STRING EARLIER.

THAT'S THREE INFRACTIONS.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

BATHROOM DUTY?

I'M SORRY, BUT RULES ARE RULES.

D'OOH!

( comical groaning )

NUMBER ONE R.A.

SNAPS, KI.

REALLY. SNAPS.

THOUGH I THINK NUMBER TWO WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE!

- OH, MY GOSH. - SCOOPED THIS OFF YOUR FLOOR A COUPLE MINUTES AGO.

THIS ISN'T JUST SOME NORMAL POOP

LIKE ONE OF THE STUDENTS MIGHT LEAVE. OH, NO.

THIS CAME FROM AN ANIMAL.

IN FACT, I'M WILLING TO BET IT CAME FROM A...

( laughing )

WHOO!

( laughter )

( taunting )

POOPIE MAN SHANE! POOPIE MAN SHANE!

( continuing )

WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?

UGH.

NO PETS ALLOWED, KI.

SO WHEN I FIND THAT CAT, YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO NUMBER ONE,

'CAUSE SHE'S COMING OVER TO MY PLACE.

WE'RE MOVING IN TOGETHER, ME AND ONE.

BIG STEP FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP.

MY FRIENDS SAY I'M ONE-WHIPPED, BUT I DON'T CARE,

'CAUSE I'M READY TO COMMIT.

BECAUSE I...

LOVE...

NUMBER ONE.

30-FOOT RANGE.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, TED?

GOD! I'VE BEEN HOLDING THIS TRACK FOR HOURS.

WHEN DO I GET THE TOY CAR?

THIS IS NOT A TOY, TED.

THIS IS A CUSTOM OVERDRIFT USB SUPERCAR.

WHAT? I WANT ONE EVEN MORE NOW.

D.K., WHEN DO I GET ONE?

THEODORE, YOU'VE BEEN A DRIFTER FOR NARY A FORTMONTH.

EARNING A SUPERCAR IS NO SMALL CHALLENGE.

IT'S ONLY FOR SUPER SERIOUS RACERS.

SERIOUS?

I STOLE SODA FOR YOU GUYS. I BEAT THE DUCHESS.

AND I BUILT THIS BOSS TRACK.

AND ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE ONE, AND I WANT ONE. NOW.

VERY WELL, CHILD.

IF YOU WILL NOT HEED MY WARNING,

GO GRAB A BOOK FROM THE BOOKSHELF.

( all gasping )

( whispering ) OH, MY GOD.

( mechanism whirring )

I KNOW YOU MISSED ME BECAUSE I MISSED YOU TOO, BUDDY.

BUT DAD'S GOTTA GO NOW TO PRACTICE HIS STUPID MINIGAME,

A MINIGAME THAT IF HE MESSES UP, WILL RUIN OUR ENTIRE SEASON.

( growling )

HEARD THAT.

I MISSED THIS.

ALL RIGHT. WISH ME LUCK.

BRIAN, HAVE YOU SEEN A--

THAT. IS A CAT.

YOU HAVE A CAT IN YOUR ROOM.

OH, YEAH, THAT'S CHEETO, MY BEST BUD FROM HOME.

CHEETO, THIS IS KI. SHE'S AWESOME.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, I GOTTA GO.

YOU TWO HAVE FUN.

GOTTA PRACTICE.

UH...

BRIAN.

RULE NUMBER 35.

ARE THE CAT THAT'S BEEN POOPING ON MY FLOOR?

( wet thud )

WHEW. YES, YOU ARE.

BEHOLD OVERDRIFT PURGATORIO.

DESIGNED BY THE ZEN DRIFTING MONKS

OF THE HOKKAIDO REGION,

IT REMAINS THE MOST EXTREME OVERDRIFT GAME EVER CONCEIVED.

SHOULD A PLAYER BE BRAVE ENOUGH,

SKILLED ENOUGH,

CRAZY ENOUGH

TO TAME ONE OF THE WILD SUPERCARS WITHIN,

PURGATORIO SHALL GRANT HIM A JEWEL

FIT FOR A KING!

ALAS...

IN THEIR MAD DREAMS TO CONSTRUCT THE ULTIMATE RACER,

THE DRIFT MONKS INSTALLED A FEATURE WAY TOO HARDCORE

FOR THE CASUAL GAMER.

YOU SEE, WHEN YOU ENTER PURGATORIO,

YOU CANNOT LEAVE UNTIL YOU WIN.

THEY SAY ONE KID GOT TRAPPED IN THERE FOR THREE DAYS.

I HEARD ANOTHER KID PEED HIS PANTS.

I HEARD A KID DIED.

ALL THOSE LEGENDS ARE BOTH TRUE AND UNTRUE,

EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WHERE THE KID DIED.

THAT'S WHY THEY BANNED THE GAME

AND PURGATORIO VANISHED INTO ANTIQUITY,

UNTIL I FOUND A COPY... ON EBAY.

SO, THEODORE, NOW THAT YOU'VE HEARD THE TALE,

I HAVE ONLY ONE QUESTION:

( car alarm chirps )

( whooshing sound )

DID YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM FIRST?

I. CAN. HOLD IT.

WE SHALL SEE, TED.

WE SHALL SEE.

( keys clacking )

( sighs )

COME ON, YOU'VE DONE THIS A THOUSAND TIMES.

( idle noises )

AH. HI, BUDDY!

ALL RIGHT. NO MORE SCREWING AROUND.

GAH!

( cellphone buzzes )

( sighs ) I CAN DO THIS.

( engine roars )

( tires squeal )

DANG IT!

HE'S BEEN IN THERE FOR HOURS, D.K.

HE'S NOT READY FOR THIS.

WERE YOU READY, TRIXI? WERE ANY OF US?

CRAP, I'VE REALLY GOTTA PEE.

( horn honking )

ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

NO. IT CAN'T BE.

( whispering ) I THOUGHT THEY PATCHED HER OUT.

PATCHED HER OUT?

THAT CAR'S NO BUG, CHILD.

THEN WHAT IS SHE?

A CRUEL JOKE PROGRAMMED BY THE MONKS

AT THE HEIGHT OF THEIR MADNESS.

LET HER PASS, TED.

HEED NOT HER SIREN'S CALL.

SWEET STRIPES.

NO WAY YOU'RE GETTING PAST ME WITHOUT A RACE, BUDDY.

( blows whistle )

NOW POOP.

GOOD BOY.

HELLO, UM, DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THE GIRLS' BATHROOM TOO,

OR JUST...

HO, IS... IS THAT A CAT?

YES, UH, YES IT IS... A CAT.

WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A CAT? YOU'RE BREAKING, UH, RULE... YOU'RE BREAKING RULE 35.

WELL, YOU SEE, THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE.

I AM THE R.A., AND I JUST TRAINED...

UH-UH. NO, NO. 'CAUSE YOU--

YOU SAID RULES ARE RULES.

THAT'S WHAT YOU-- THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.

- YOU SAID RULES ARE RULES. - WENDELL, CONTROL YOUR BREATHING.

NO, NO! YOU'RE BREAKING THE RULES, KI.

I'M NOT--

I'M NOT GONNA LISTEN TO ANYTHING YOU SAY ANYMORE, OKAY?

OH, MY GOD.

EVERYONE! EVERYONE!

WENDELL!

EVERYONE! EVERYONE! EVERYONE!

KI IS HOUSING A CAT. SHE'S BREAKING THE RULES!

EVERYBODY BACK INSIDE.

NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

WENDELL, CAN I SEE YOU IN TED'S--?

THEY'RE JUST A LIE. NOTHING IS REAL.

ALL AUTHORITY-- AUTHORITY IS FINISHED!

SILLY STRING!

( rapturous screaming )

Ki: OH, MY--! NO! NO!

OH, NO!

( rapid pinging )

( pinging sound )

( distorted audio )

( pinging sound )

( distorted audio )

Jenny: BRIAN!

HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

ALL FRESHED UP?

YEAH, YEAH, GOOD TO GO.

GOOD. WELL, IN THAT CASE, WANNA GO?

UH...

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I THINK I MAY JUST STAY

AND PRACTICE A LITTLE MORE.

REALLY? YOU'RE GOOD, THOUGH, RIGHT?

LIKE, FOR TOMORROW, YOU'VE GOT THE WHOLE BOMB THING DOWN?

YEAH, YEAH. NO. ALL THE WAY DOWN.

'CAUSE BRIAN, IF YOU DON'T, I REALLY NEED TO KNOW THAT.

NO, NO, NO. JENNY, YEAH, I, UH...

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR, LIKE, HOURS,

SO, WHY DON'T WE GO GRAB A BITE TO EAT?

SEE YOU IN THE CLOSET IN FIVE.

OKAY.

OH, NO, NOT AGAIN!

( horn honking )

YEAH!

WELL, GIRL, YOU ARE PRETTY CRAZY.

BUT I LIKE THAT.

I AM GONNA CALL YOU...

HELLENOR.

- ( Hellenor toots horn ) - WHAT?

YOU'RE MY CAR NOW!

HELLENOR, COME BACK!

WHAT--?

( sighing )