( automatic gunfire )

HANG ON!

MAN, THIS GUY WILL NOT DIE.

DUDE, BUST OUT THAT NEW AXE. IT'S GOT MAD CRITS.

( strums and chuckles )

UNH!

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S 40 SASHES. SO, WE'RE DONE, RIGHT?

NO. WE GOTTA TURN THESE INTO STONEKEEP,

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA FIND WYNORSKI THE WISE

SO HE CAN DROP HIS MOUNT.

HE DROPS A FREAKI'' CLOCKWORK BEAR.

OH. OKAY. WELL, I KIND OF HAVE A THING WITH JENNY SOON.

I THOUGHT WE WERE HANGING OUT TONIGHT.

WELL, WE ARE. I MEAN, WE GOT PIZZA AND FROYO,

AND WE'VE BEEN PLAYING FOR, LIKE, TWO HOURS.

OH.

I THOUGHT WE COULD, YOU KNOW, JUST FINISH MY QUEST LINE.

I'M SORRY. I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS GONNA BE SO LATE.

YEAH, WELL, WYNORSKI IS A TWO-MAN RAID,

SO, UM...

YOU KNOW, IT'S FINE, WHATEVER.

I'LL JUST-- I'LL PARLEY WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? JENNY MAKES A GREAT MONK.

MAYBE I COULD GET HER TO COME HELP.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO CHANGE YOUR PLANS.

NO, TED, REALLY, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

I DON'T WANT TO BE NEEDY.

( sighs )

LOOK, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.

YEAH, WELL...

LET'S GET TO STONEKEEP. THIS IS A TIME QUEST.

HI, NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING?

HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY?

ANYTHING I CAN DO?

( toilet flushes )

( cat meowing )

I MEAN, IT'S JUST, IF WE WIN TOMORROW, WE GO TO PLAYOFFS,

BUT IF WE LOSE, THAT'S IT.

THE SEASON'S OVER, WHICH IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE

'CAUSE STARS HOLLOW HIGH IS CRAZY GOOD

AT KING OF THE HILL,

AND THEN I WOULD BE THE VGHS CAPTAIN

THAT DIDN'T GET US TO PLAYOFFS.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

( sighs ) I'M RAMBLING.

I'M GONNA JUST SHUT UP NOW.

WHAT?

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

STOP... SMILING AT ME, YOU WEIRDO.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

THAT I LOVE YOU.

OH, UM...

THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

THAT'S GOOD.

OKAY, NOW, WAIT, WAIT.

NOW I'M JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I JUST BLEW THIS.

NO, NO, NO. IT'S FINE.

I SHOULD JUST GET TO BED

BECAUSE WE HAVE THE BIG GAME TOMORROW,

AND, UM... YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU THERE, RIGHT?

- OKAY. - JENNY, I--

- BYE. - YEAH.

GOOD LUCK... TO US.

OH, BRIAN, WHAT THE HELL?

( imitates car engine and brakes )

BRIAN?

YOU IN HERE?

WHAT IS THIS?

Male Vocalist: ♪ THE CITY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S COMING ♪

♪ SHE DOESN'T FEEL THE HEAT ♪

♪ THE CITY WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT HER ♪

♪ WHAT KNOCKED HER OUT INTO THE STREETS ♪

♪ THE CITY'S THINKING THAT IT'S OVER ♪

♪ SHE'S ALREADY FAST ASLEEP ♪

♪ SO I'M BREAKING OUT OF HERE TONIGHT ♪

♪ AND AM I READY ♪

( music rises to driving crescendo )

- ( music abruptly ends ) - HI, YEAH, CAN I GET 18 HOT WINGS...

...FAMILY COMBO MEAL, AND A DOUBLE CHOCOLATE CHIP CAKE?

NO MOTOR BIKES IN THE DRIVE-THRU, SIR.

NO, I'M GONNA EAT ON MY BIKE. THAT'S COOL.

IT'S STATE LAW, SIR. I CAN'T--

NO. NO! I'M NOT GOING INSIDE!

I'M GONNA EAT IT ON MY BIKE!

SIR, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME INSIDE.

( The Law weeping; car horn blowing )

- SIR. - YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, I'M LOST!

I DROVE 200 MILES THINKING ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND.

- SIR, I CAN'T SERVE YOU. - ( horn honking )

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET HOME!

SIR?

HO, JEEZ.

( breaker switches clunk noisily )

SCOTT. SCOTT!

OH, RIGHT. THE THING.

SALUTATIONS, ZWNERS, IT'S THE BIG DAY,

A DAY LIKE ANY OTHER CRAPPY, EMPTY DAY,

BUT BIGGER, BECAUSE OF ESPORTS.

MORE LIKE OMG SPORTS!

I HATE YOU.

HELLO THERE, I'M SHOT BOT 2.0,

ACTIVATED JUST IN TIME

TO WATCH VGHS TAKE ON STARS HOLLOW HIGH

IN AN OLD SCHOOL KING OF THE HILL SLUGFEST.

FIRST TO HOLD THE HILL FOR 10 MINUTES WINS THE GAME.

- SHOULD BE EXCITING, EH, SCOTT? - SURE.

I THINK WHAT YOU MEANT TO SAY IS ABSOLUTELY!

BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS, WILL MARY MATRIX LET THE LAW PLAY

NOW THAT HE'S CLEARED HIS NAME?

ONE THING'S FOR SURE: MY BEST FRIEND IS GONE.

I CAN BE YOUR FRIEND, SCOTT.

BOOLEAN.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT, SCOTT?

HE'S GONE.

I BROUGHT YOU COFFEE AND A DANISH, BUT DON'T TELL COACH.

THANKS.

SO... HOW YOU DOING?

( chuckles )

I'M GOOD. AND YOU?

UM, I'M FINE.

YOU KNOW-- LITTLE NERVOUS.

HAVE A START MEETING WITH COACH IN A BIT.

BIG GAME TODAY, SO...

YEP. BIG GAME.

YEAH. HOW ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?

YOU GET THEM NEW PLAYS MEMORIZED?

JENNY, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT LAST NIGHT,

THAT'S FINE, BUT DON'T COME HERE

AND PRETEND LIKE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, OKAY?

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA GO.

YOU SHOULD GET TO YOUR MEETING.

HOW YOU FEELING THOSE FLAPJACKS, VGHS?

YOU HAVING A GOOD BRUNCHEON, SO FAR?

WHO ORDERED BLUEBERRY?

Ted: I DID.

TED!

AREN'T YOU GOING TO BRIAN'S GAME?

YEAH, I GUESS.

MAYBE I SHOULD.

Shane: ...BUT I JUST GOTTA SAY HOW PROUD I AM

THAT ALL OF YOU COULD BE HERE TODAY.

KI! THE KART RACERS NEED MORE SYRUP.

BUT VGHS IS FAMILY.

AND I KNOW AROUND HERE CERTAIN FAMILY MEMBERS

GET ALL THE ATTENTION.

( coughs ) THE FPS TEAM!

( laughter )

BUT TODAY IS ABOUT THE REST OF US,

AND BY THE REST OF US I MEAN THE BEST OF US.

NOW, STUDENTS OF VGHS,

I JUST HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION:

CAN YOU DIG IN?

WHOO!

TACO BOY 14!

- COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. - FASTER! FASTER!

D.K.: REMEMBER WHAT I TAUGHT YOU IN CLASS TODAY.

- YEAH! - NO! DON'T!

( overlapping chatter )

WHOA!

COME ON, DOMINO!

WHOA. WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT!

D.K.: THEODORE! YOU SAID

YOU'D BE AT YOUR FRIEND'S FPS TOURNEY.

WHAT GIVETH?

YOU GUYS ARE GAMBLING. YOU'RE BREAKING THE RULES.

( chuckling ) THEODORE, WE'RE DRIFTERS.

WE DON'T BREAK THE RULES,

WE BEND THEM, THEN WE DRIFT AROUND THOSE BENDS.

WHY DON'T YOU GO FETCH US SOME SODAS.

Boy: YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT!

COME ON, CLUTCH!

YOU GOT IT, CLUTCH!

YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT!

THAT'S IT, COME ON!

- BEHIND YOU! - I CALL NEXT!

( tires screech, clatter )

I'M LOOKING FOR A BOY.

FOURTEEN, LOVES TACOS,

LAST SEEN GETTING THRASHED BY ME

IN A LACERATION FORCE PUB SERVER,

THEN RUNNING TO THE MODS AND CALLING ME A CHEATER.

I TRACKED DOWN HIS I.P. ADDRESS TO THIS LAME-ASS SCHOOL,

AND I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I TAKE HIM DOWN.

( low ) I'M TACO BOY 14.

WHAT?!

WENDELL, IF THE SCHOOL FINDS OUT YOU'VE BEEN--

I KNOW, THEY'LL THROW ME OUT OF THE FIGHTING TEAM.

I KNOW, I JUST-- KI, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFRONTATION.

WHAT WAS THAT?

OH, NO, NO, NOTHING.

UM, I JUST SAID, UH,

I SAID THAT THESE-- THESE PANCAKES,

THEY, UM, CAN'T HANDLE MY MASTICATION.

I AM TACO BOY 14.

INTERESTING.

DID YOU... WANT YOUR REVENGE NOW, OR...?

EAT FIRST. REVENGE LATER.

SIT.

JACKS RUSHES TO THE LEFT WITH DOUBLE SMGS, PROVIDING YOU COVERAGE.

JACKS SHOULD HANG BACK. GAMES SHOULD FLANK LEFT

AND THEN HOLD TIGHT IN THAT POSITION UNTIL WE'RE ABLE TO GET BACK UP IT.

THAT'S ROOKIE TACTICS. WE NEED TO THROW EVERYTHING WE HAVE AT THEM.

WE NEED TO BE AGGRESSIVE. COME ON, JENNY, FOCUS.

MOM, I WANT TO DATE BRIAN.

NO. NOW CAN WE GET BACK TO THIS? WE NEED TO PREP FOR THE GAME.

LET ME REPHRASE THAT:

I AM DATING BRIAN.

OH. WELL, I'VE GOT A GAME TO PREP

BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE BENCHED.

NO, COULD YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE SECOND HERE?

I SWEAR, JENNY, IF YOU'RE SCREWING AROUND WITH ME--

- HE SAID HE LOVES ME. - I'M NOT DOING THIS.

BRIAN MEANS IT, MOM. WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?

I AM NOT GOING TO WATCH YOU SCREW UP YOUR CAREER!

WHEN WE GET TO THE PLAYOFFS, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE PRO CONTRACTS ON THE TABLE,

AND YOU'RE GONNA LOSE FOCUS NOW, WHEN YOU'RE SO CLOSE?

THE SAD TRUTH IS THAT GUYS LIKE BRIAN,

THEY GET IN THE WAY, JUST LIKE YOUR DAD DID.

IT WAS HARD, YOU KNOW.

IT WAS REALLY HARD TO STAND IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE

AND SAY THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE

WHO GETS TO CALL YOU MOM.

YOU'RE NOT A MOM.

YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR ME.

AND DAD, THE ONE WHO ALWAYS GOT IN THE WAY,

HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.

HE DID EVERYTHING WITH ME

THAT A MOTHER SHOULD DO WITH A DAUGHTER.

HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO FIX MY HAIR.

HE-- HE SHOWED ME HOW TO TALK TO BOYS.

HE DID EVERYTHING YOU WOULDN'T DO BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T AROUND.

SO, YEAH, NOW YOU CAN TELL ME WHETHER OR NOT I CAN PLAY,

BUT YOU CANNOT TELL ME WHO TO CARE ABOUT.

I'M DATING BRIAN.

HAVE FUN RIDING THE BENCH, THEN.

THAT'S YOUR CALL, COACH.

- SO, YOU'RE NOT TACO BOY 14. - YES, I AM.

LOOK, I'VE PLAYED A LOT OF LACERATION FORCE.

I THINK I WOULD KNOW KI SWAN,

THE DAUGHTER OF THE GAME'S CREATOR, WHEN I SEE HER.

FINE. I'M KI, BUT THAT DOESN'T--

AND I ALSO KNOW YOU QUIT THE PUB CIRCUIT TWO YEARS AGO.

YOU GET BORED OR SOMETHING?

NO. I SIMPLY MASTERED THE GAME.

- IT WASN'T FUN ANYMORE. - ( laughs )

THAT'S CALLED GETTING BORED, KI,

WHICH IS NUTS BECAUSE LACERATION FORCE ROCKS.

I'VE LOGGED 30,000 HOURS AND I'M STILL HAVING FUN AT IT.

JEEZ. YOU MUST GET BORED AT EVERYTHING.

I DO.

HEY. WE SHOULD FIGHT.

- WHY? - I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S KIND OF WHY I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING.

WHY DO YOU GET UP OUT OF BED EVERY MORNING?

I DON'T KNOW.

TELL YOU WHAT: IF I WIN, YOU TELL ME WHO TACO BOY 14 IS,

AND IF YOU WIN, I'LL LEAVE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YOU'RE BORED ANYWAYS, RIGHT?

NICE.

YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL, LOSER.

OR ANY OF THEM.

( laughing )

I'M NOT DONE YET.

YOU'VE LOST TO EVERY RACER IN THIS ROOM, TED.