So this week I decided to make Top 100 Things Not to Say to a Cop.

And for those of you who always ask me “Where do I get all these paintings from”, the

cops in this video are actually the ones who make these paintings.

They’re called The Homeless Heroes. One’s an artist. One’s a rapper. And they have

some really great clean videos on their channel.

So definitely subscribe to them and me if you want to get notified every time we make

a new video.

Also, make sure to leave a comment about which number you think is the worst thing to say

to a cop.

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New videos every Sunday. No Jugamos Juegos.

Throw me the alley.

Top 100 Things Not to Say to a Cop.

100) I can’t hear you. 99) DAHECK do you want?

98) You want a beer? I got a couple in the back.

97) I drank some. 96) You’re not going to find anything. I

already hid the body. 95) These are not the droids you were looking

for. 94) I mean you’re black, come on man. Cut

me some slack. 93) You’re with them now?

92) You do not want to give me a ticket. 91) I am not here.

I had some complaints about the noise. 90) I have some complaints about your breath.

My gosh! 89) I was not speeding.

88) Do you brush your teeth? 87) You need to start flossing.

86) Move along. 85) Look man, I didn’t know I was speeding.

My eyes were shut. 84) I thought I smelled doughnuts.

83) Do you take bribes? 82) ¡Cállate la boca!

81) You’re not going to check the trunk are you?

80) What are you doing? Dunkin Doughnuts is having a sale right now! Buy one get one.

79) I was just on my way to your sister’s house.

78) That’s all you got? 77) Yeah, I thought about becoming a cop…then

I graduated from high school. 76) Just come back in fifteen minutes. I’m

on the phone. Thank you. 75) What seems to be the officer problem?

74) I’m high. 73) You know I could kill you if I wanted

to. 72) This isn’t even my car, ok? I stole

it! 71) So you’re just going to give me a ticket?

You’re not going to take the drugs in the backseat?

70) She told me she was eighteen! 69) Can you hurry this up please? I gotta

get back to your wife. 68) Oh, ok. So we’re going to do it rough

huh? Guess it runs in the family. 67) If I were you, I’d let me go.

66) I swear to drunk, I’m not God. Alright I want you to stand on one leg for

ten seconds. 65) What you really want is a donut.

64) I thought you had to be in good shape to be a police officer. What DAHECK! Are you

serious? 63) I’m not going to lie, if you don’t

let me go right now I’m just going to take a dump in my pants.

62) I swear to high, hahahahahahaha. I’m not God. I’m not God. I’m not God. Hahahahahaha.

61) I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing that ticket.

60) You are dreaming. You’re dreaming. 59) Here you go officer. Oh, that’s the

fake one! 58) You guys see that?

57) You completely just killed my buzz. 56) You’re the guy from the Village People!

55) You let me go, I won’t murder you. How bout that?

54) 53) I pay your salary.

52) You must’ve been doing like 125 to keep up with me.

51) Ahhh! Say the alphabet backwards from Z to A please.

50) Man, I can’t even do that when I’m sober.

49) I know you can’t 48) I didn’t even know I was speeding. I

feel asleep like five minutes ago. 47) That’s a really nice gun. Want to see

mine? 46) I bet you won’t tase me. Do it! Do it!

45) You won’t. 44) Ok, fine. I killed her.

43) You are so ugly. Dang! 42) No hablo Inglés. That means I don’t

speak English. Hello? 41) Who know what this is?

40) Is it true people become police officers because they’re too dumb to work at McDonalds?

39) I don’t know how fast I was going. I was on the phone.

38) I was texting. 37) I was thinking of your daughter.

36) I bet you like that, don’t you? 35) Catch.

34) Is that like a bird over there? Is that like a bird…over…there? Over…

33) We didn’t order any strippers. 32) I only stopped because I thought you were

a prostitute. 31) I’m not drinking and driving. I’m

already drunk. How high are you?

30) No officer, it’s hi, how are you? 29) Go away!

28) Can we hurry this up please? Some of us have real jobs to get to.

27) Bad cop! No doughnut! 26) You know, I can tell just from looking

at you, you’re probably a virgin. 25) Guess they’re just letting anyone into

the academy these days. 24) Popped a molly I’m sweating. Woo!

23) Do you know why I let you pull me over? 22) Bro, honestly, Tic Tac.

21) Is the reason you’re stopping me because I hit that kid back there? I barely nipped

him. 20) Your life must suck.

19) No, I don’t know how fast I was going. I bet you’re going to tell me though.

18) Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do…whatcha…Oh hey.

17) Don’t you have anything else better to do?

16) What is that? Do you see that? What is that? Oh my gosh. What the? Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! I’m just joking. It’s my hand. 15) There’s nobody here. I’m not even

here right now. 14) You see the news about that one police

officer that died? It was tragic. I’d hate for it to happen again.

13) That gun ain’t nothing compared to the one I got in the trunk!

12) I thought you wanted to race. 11) He went that way.

10) So is this the same test you gotta do to become a police officer?

9) Just take what you need. We’ll call it even.

8) Don’t act like you’ve never done PCP before.

7) Yolo. 6) Don’t act like you’ve never done a

hit and run. 5) I’m not going back to jail.

4) Oh, I’m so glad you guys are here. Look, someone stole all my weed.

3) You want a doughnut? You want a doughnut? Fetch!

2) Someone stole my crack pipe. Where do you get another one of those?

1) It’s because I’m black isn’t it?

Can’t find the remote. Twitter is over capacity.

Ran out of toilet paper. Twitter is over capacity.

You have nothing to eat at your house. Your neighbor blocker their Wi-Fi.

Ran out of milk. Really?

Yo, you was gone for real man. Can you please recite the alphabet from going

from I forgot my password to Ebay.

You’re dreaming. I can’t…what? What? I can’t…no. No Jugamos Juegos!

Alright, I want you to stand on one leg for 10 seconds.

I’m sorry, that voice is great. Ok stop it.

The camera can not see you! He said save me. Boo!

I’m a grown man.