Oh, no, no, we're not even. No.

[Kids tell their parents a long-kept secret]

I was a little person at the time and it was just to have fun.

She'll be a little angry with me and I hope this doesn't prevent her from being generous in the future.

It surrounds what I really did on my prom night.

I think that she'll probably be like, "Oh!"

[The secrets]

A few years ago for a birthday present, my mom, you got my these really nice pearl earrings.

I went to an after party wearing these pearl earings and I drank a little too much.

The earrings disappeared that night.

So, all this time you've been lying to me?

I wouldn't call it a lie.

I'd said I've bent the truth.

Oh, I'm not too thrilled.

Unreal.

When I was really little at home, when you were not at home, I used to dress Russel up, Russel's my brother,

I used to dress Russel up in princess clothes and paint his nails and do his make up.

We'd take all the make up off of Russel and everything before you came home so you wouldn't know.

- When you say we, your mother is a conspirator in this, - Yes. - in this plot.

And Russel liked it. He had fun.

Great.

Well, when i was in high school, I snuck out of the house all the time.

All the time.

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

Where did you go?

I went to, like, the beach and--

- What?

How is that possible? Who'd you go with?

My boyfriend and his friends.

I don't even know how I didn't know that.

I don't know either.

That is, God, I suck.

I actually did not go to prom.

The prom that we got the tuxedo for and paid all the money for?

Yeah, I went, I went, I took a trip with my friends--

- You. - to Mexico.

- What? - Yeah.

- What about-- - Just a lake.

- What about the girl you were supposed to take? - She came with.

- No. - Yeah.

I don't believe you.

- I don't know what to tell you. - That,

- That's what happened. - you went to Mexico?

Yeah, there was a concert that weekend. We went to go see it.

So, basically, I paid for you to go to Mexico when I thought I was paying... - Yeah.

Did you wear the tuxedo to the concert?

I don't understand. - No.

And you, that's terrible.

I think you should pay me back.

I'm not paying for Mexico.

- What did you think I was gonna say? - I don't know.

Your romantic encounters or--

You know, moms don't wanna hear that.

- Oh god. - Okay.

[How do you feel now?]

I still love her but I'm not happy.

Well, now I know why he looks so good in a pair of black pumps.

It gives me a little ammunition to bring up once in a while if the situation presents itself.

I probably would've been a lot angrier if I found out about it right after it happened.

Especially since he put on this whole masquerade.

So, thankfully you weren't, like, on the streets doing crack or something.

- That's true because... - Well, mom. - Well.

I did sniff smarties once.

Just once though.

What does that do?

Nothing. It just fills your nose with sugar.