And Ellie lives on Long Island, but is originally from Iran, where I spent 3 interesting months,

back in, I guess, it was 1980's, leaving just a day or two before the Shah did. I was with a group of

TM teachers who were trying to demonstrate that large groups of people meditating could actually

create a peaceful influence on their surroundings and the society and I don't know if we did or not

but it was interesting meditating all day and then going up on the roof of our building to watch

the banks and liquor store burn. (Yes, yes amazing) Wild times, and we take walks out on the street

and people, you know, here we are these white guys walking around and people say :"you crazy? Get off the streets,

you will get yourselves killed", we felt safe but I am sure we were naive. It was interesting.

Thanks, I have been listening to several hours of your interviews and talks over the last week

and enjoyed those, and those listening to this will get a chance to catch up on what I heard

but one thing I didn't hear too much in all that and didn't even see in your website,

although I looked through it, was an account of how you got to turn to who you are,

in terms of your spiritual orientation, so tell us that story.

This is a long long story.

That is ok, we have time.

First of all, I just want to thank you for having me here.

Oh, you are welcome.

And the reason I accept this interview is because, this path was so long and hard,

was so difficult, and I didn't have any teacher, no teacher, no guru, no one to help.

So, that is why I want to share this story with the people, I am sure, there are so many people out there,

who are listening right now, and are in the same exact boat, but the message is:

"There is a light at the end of the tunnel".

And it is not an oncoming train.

No, it is not, there is an end to this path, so, if I want to start from the beginning, Rick,

I was born in a very middle class family in Iran, as you mentioned, I have been born and raised

till age 23. When I was a child, this is around age 5 or 6, when I was alone in the room, by myself,

especially when I was all by myself, just playing or doing whatever I was doing,

all of a sudden I see myself as this vision, it is just a vision, it is not a thing, I am just looking at this body,

especially in the hands, I was looking at my hands, I was absolutely not associated,

whatsoever to this body, and I was so petrified, I was just looking, and the only question I would ask is

in Persian "Mankia"- Who am I? It was scary, because I was not getting any answer,

and all I was feeling here is empty, there is nothing in here, nothing whatsoever,

but this looking at the body, this body does not feel at all belong to me, I am just looking at it,

but absolutely not as we see it at that time. This vision was so profound.

This is invisible vision I could call, invisible and I would be sweating,

all my face was so scared, I would run out of the room, I would go to a place,

that there are people there, and then, when there are people there, then I feel a little bit safe,

then I feel back, somehow I am going back again, I could not share this with any one

I knew this was not norm, I knew it, something from inside I knew it, this is not norm.

Did it happen over and over again?

Absolutely, any time I was quiet by myself the vision was coming out

I was not identifying with the body, this was not me.

Did you kind of fight it, because you didn't like it, you tried to stop it?

No, I was scared.

But, if it scared you so much, when you tried to kind of stop it from happening?

No, this stopping was getting up and leave, yeah, going out, but in this, "who am I" was there,

because I didn't get an answer there, I felt this emptiness, there was nothing here

and that "who am I", that was the question, just was there, I know it was in the back, always,

so, as I was growing up, till 8, 10 and 11, this was on and off there, until finally I think this eye,

this vision closed up and this body was totally accepted somehow, ok, I am this body

but I knew, something is not right in here, you know what I am saying, I knew.

So this was my question, as I was growing up like everybody else, I am going to bring a metaphor,

to show how I felt. It felt like, imagine you are a king, you are a king of this whole entire continent

and all of a sudden you wake up and they dress you as a beggar, and they give this begging bowl

and to go into this world and try to become that, so that was the feeling, I knew this was not me,

I just knew it, this doesn't feel comfortable, but it feels like this was giving,

I can not do anything about it, I have to accept this, so I accepted it, but I knew this was not it.

So, I took the begging bowl, and I went around the world, and I try to become, just become,

and become everything, become a good daughter for the family, become educated, a good student,

I happen to be a very very good high achiever, very good student, and finally be accepted in university

which is in Iran very difficult, for every 100000 people who apply for collage,

only 10% would be accepted, and I achieved that, went to collage in Iran, got my Bachelor's degree

and for continuing my education I decided to come to the United States, in 1979,

the day Shah left Iran we left Iran also, the next day.

Ah, we might have been in the same flight, almost, I think I left about 2 days before that.

Right, that is about that time, so I came to United States, to continue my education,

again to become, I was just becoming. So then here, I met my husband, I got married, he is Iranian

as you saw him today, and then I said, there is something missing here, like a huge hole.

And no matter how much I was becoming, this hole was getting bigger,

not smaller, it was just getting bigger.

Was it like a constant awareness of that or would just come up in your quite moments?

Pretty much all the time I was not at ease, I was not comfortable in this outfit, I was not.

This was not comfortable. And then I said ok, and maybe if I find the love of my life, love is the answer.

So this man, I met him, I fell in love, I mean I thought at that time this was love, this was really love

a person to a person, so we got married, that was not it, having the children,

same thing everybody else is doing, I don't want to take a lot of time on that, but it was not it,

in having two beautiful children, my daughter is now a grown up, my son is now in college.

Something didn't feet. After my Master's degree I went and start teaching in a katikati school

as a high school teacher of mathematics. I was very very good in that,

I am good in transferring the knowledge to this students, I was good, I loved that,

that was my passion, in class I was so myself, I feel so great. But again, that thing that was missing is always here.

Until at 1995, this body got very very sick, I have got breast cancer.

And I have to deal with that. That was one of the turning points, something hit here,

I had to take care of that, which I did, I went through whole entire thing, the surgery and everything.

And I put that behind myself. But that was something that it made me again go.

Not only to take care of the body now, I started to take care, watch the body a little bit more,

more exercise, better eating, all that, but then going now curve back in, that's the time that started.

About 2 years after I became a volunteer of American Cancer Society and ever since I am helping

all those people in Long Island, who had breast cancer. That was the time of my life.

Interacting with people, going to their homes, giving them hope, showing them that there is a light

at the end of the tunnel, this is a cancer survivor body, so it was just fun to do that as aside.

I thought that's good, that is it, serving people, it would be something that maybe I need

to, again, feel that gap, that hole. That was good, but that was not it, I mean in this becoming is not it.

I knew this becoming is not it. It is not the path of becoming, so after a while...

after the cancer, I decided to change my career. Because I was commuting a long long distance

and I said, so maybe that something close, that was...

The dog saying,"It's time for breakfast".

So you want to go and take care of him?

No, my wife will take care. We will keep going. People who listen to this shows,

are very well aware of our dogs and cats.

I love them, so dearly. So after all this I said, you know, this is something missing.

When I changed my career, I was in Information technology for few years, again, I became a manager.

Very good at what I was doing, dealing with the people, interacting. And then, at that point

I said, ok, I heard about energy, and healing and reiki. So, I found someone, some reiki master

in Long Island and she gave me attunement, so I learned reiki level 2, so she showed me how to do it

with hands and all that. One day I said, ok, now that I learned this, she showed me

that you can me give energy from the distance or to the picture of somebody or all that.

So here I am, I said, let me just give energy to my sister.

So I was sitting in my living room and I am holding my hands up like that on her picture

and all of a sudden my hands start bouncing up and down, and speed was phenomenal, out of control

it was like, I can't tell you, it was so fast that I feel that my shoulders now is going just to pull out.

Wow...

So I take my hands off, off the picture, so I just hold like this, and I just waited, and then I said, ok,

I am going to try again. So I put my hands back now this time my hands were going this way, like this.

For those listening on the audio, she is going back and forth, rather then up and down.

Right, it was like this, but the speed, I cannot describe that, this was so much

that it was so out of control, it was so painful, it was like my hands were falling off.

So I take my hands off, and all of a sudden I felt this energy was flowing from the bottom of my belly,

circling around like this and coming up and up and up, and going to my head, and my shoulders ...

it feels like you are in a rollercoaster, that how it was moving, and then my chest was just expanded so much,

and then it was just like moving and going on and on, and as I was looking at my hands,

all of a sudden my hands became like this, I felt like a football, soccer ball,

and this energy was moving in between my hands.

When you say like this, for the benefit of those just listening audio, she is holding her hands as though

she is holding a soccer ball in her hands.

Exactly, like this, and it was going in between my hands, so powerful, it was like a ball moving.

And I was looking at it, I just didn't know what to do with this ball, I just put it on my head,

I go like this. (Ah, put the ball on your head)

Yes, and I let go, and this was going on and on, I don't know how long, until it quiet down.

And then all of a sudden, as it quiet down, I raise my hand and I notice that this left hand is moving

as I am going towards any chakra in my body, if I hold my hand, it starts vibrating, very powerful.

So, ok I sat down, I don't know how long was it, what happened to me I really didn't have any experience

like this. This reiki master told me, that you can give energy to the loved ones, to the people

who are deceased, anybody. So, there are 2 people in my mind, so powerfully, so strongly

that I want to give energy. One was Mother Theresa. So, here I am, I raise my hands

and with a distance I start, giving her energy, and this 2 hands were going off the war,

they were going booo... like moving and moving, and shaking and moving and throughout this whole energy

it was like that, then it slow down, it quiets down and that was it. And the next one, I said

the person that I always... This was love of my heart was Jesus. I said.. And I am not even Christian,

but Jesus has a very special place in my heart, because of his messages, I start giving energy to

Jesus, again the same thing, again hands moving, and I said, I have to call my husband,

I have to show him what is going on with me, so I call, he was downstairs, in his office, he came up

he sat and I said look, "I want to give energy to your brother. His brother was deceased.

Very tragically deceased back in Iran.

He said ok, so as I was mentioning his name, and I was giving energy,

my hands were acting like that again. And I was watching, and he was watching,

we have no idea what was going on, so I remember when this energy was ended he just looked at me

he didn't say one word. He just walked away. I think he was very scared.

What did he say later on?

You will work it out? Are you ready? (Sure, I am ready) "Why can't you be like other people?"

Ah, he wanted you to be normal...

Exactly, I said, what do you mean by that? This is normal, like other people, like your friends.

Does anybody of your friends do anything like that? I said I have no answer, I don't know what to say

So I called the reiki master, I said, look I don't know what you did to me, it is atunement you gave me

or something, I had this kind of an experience. She says, "Oh, my Godness, that's kundalini awakening".

I said, "I have no idea of you mean by that". She says, "Ok, that is very powerful

and what I want you to do is you give me energy because I have this chronic pain in my back

that I want you to give energy". So, she came to my home, and she lay down, and I say,

"Look, somehow I know I don't have to touch you, I just do it from the distance".

She says, "I don't know where do you got this idea, whatever that is, go ahead do it".

So I gave energy to her from a distance. And she fell that it is very very strong.

She says, "The pain is gone, the pain is completely gone" She didn't feel anything at all.