- Oh my god.

- Ella and Eugene are getting married!

- No...

- Effing...

- Way.

- So I guess you probably figured out

why I invited all of you here.

Will you be my groomsmen?

- Yes, yes!

- So obviously, Steve is gonna be my best man.

- What?

- Oh my god, look at these, they're one of a kind!

- I was best man at my brother's wedding, so...

- Oh, that's really wonderful. - [Male friend] Steve,

if you need any hot tips, I got you covered bro!

- Oh, no man, don't worry about it, I got this.

- Who the (bleep) does Max think he is?

- Um, who's this?

- Oh, this is my cousin, Justin.

- To best friends.

Yo, I don't know why I'm not the best man.

I'm Eugene's cousin, I don't know.

- Best friends.

- [Max] Steven is in way over his head.

He's gonna get overwhelmed and drop the ball,

and when he does I'll be there to scoop it up.

- We should probably see what the

bridesmaids look like, right?

- On it.

Look at those arms.

- Let's see, what's her relationship status say?

Oh, she doesn't have it.

I really hope I find love at this wedding, you know?

Maybe even get married myself, who knows?

- If you don't like this place you don't have to go here.

- Come on, let's go.

- It's like a cool, Brazilian New Years.

- I think it's like a cool Brazilian coke dealer.

- I mean, your butt looks great.

- [Eugene] Thanks.

- Nope, nope, no way, ew. - [Steve] No!

- That looks good.

(all gasp)

- [Eugene] It's the one. - [Max] Oh my god, it's so soft.

- [Eugene] Guys, don't mess up the suit.

I still have to buy it--

- Yeah, don't mess up the suit.

Steven, get off him. - [Eugene] It's okay, but thank you.

- Are you ready to get hot for this wedding?

- I'm ready to get hot for this wedding!

- Let's do it!

(fast workout music)

- I haven't eaten gluten in two months.

- Yeah, I'm on a strict liquid diet.

- I take three cold showers a day

because the shivering burns calories.

- Wait, our outfits are pink oxfords and yellow bow ties?

- Are you kidding me, when am I ever gonna wear that again?

- Just got a super passive aggressive email

from Steve about the bachelor party.

It's probably gonna be really tacky.

(dance music)

- I can't believe you guys got vagina straws.

- Surprise, surprise!

Vagina cake!

- Can we get five more cosmos for us, thank you.

- Make that six!

Actually no, we're just gonna have five.

Justin, you're drunk.

- [Steve] That was a 70 dollar vagina cake.

The wedding is tomorrow and I can't wait

for it to be over because I am losing my mind!

(alarm beeping)

It's here!

Wake up, ya sons of bitches!

We're already late!

- It's 4:30 in the morning. - [Steve] Yes!

- Didn't wanna step on your toes,

but I was starting to wonder when you

were gonna wake up these sleepy heads.

- [All] You're getting married today!

- Alright, here ya go.

Get your coffee, we got a big schedule ahead.

(glasses clink)

(knock on door)

Maid of honor's here!

- [Male friend] Oh god, do not look at my hair.

- I have a card from Ella.

It's like a love note or something.

(gentle music)

- I can't find my suspenders.

- Somebody needs to go on a run to the rental car.

- Everyone look for the keys first.

We can't find the keys.

- Got 'em.

- [Steve] Oh, thank you for scaring the hell out of us.

- Why are you guys all dressed up?

- Are you kidding me right now?

- (mumbling) shirt!

- Everything okay out here?

- Everything's great.

- I need help with my suit.

- Did Steve tie this for you? - That looks fantastic.

Yeah, I tied it.

- I'm sorry, I'm gonna retie it.

- No, it looks good.

- Because it looks like a blind person--

- Okay, you know what, can I speak with you for a second?

Ever since he decided that I was the best man,

you have been a negative nancy and a pouty--

- I dunno what you're doing in his head.

You are singlehandedly trying to

take my best friend away from me!

- Someone hold my hair back.

- [Steve] Oh, god, oh god.

(girls cheering)

- [All] Ball and chain!

- You're never gonna screw any guys ever again!

- Alright, three, two, one...

(violin music)

- Did the maid of honor, like, wake up

five minutes before this wedding started?

- Did she even care about this?

- God damn her arms in that dress.

- I mean, the one in the middle is the lawyer, right?

(groomsmen gasp)

- [Officiant] Do you take Ella in sickness

and in health, as long as you both shall live?

- [Eugene] I do.

- [Officiant] Ella, do you take Eugene in sickness

and in health, as long as you both shall live?

- [Ella] I do.

- [Officiant] You may kiss the groom.

(audience cheers)

(hip hop music)

(friends cheering)

- Okay, here's the deal, here's the deal.

I've known Ella for a really long time.

Eugene, you're a cool dude, you took my

best bitch from me, but like, I think you guys

are gonna be really happy and marriage is awesome, so...

Cheers to these two!

(friends cheer)

And any available groomsmen, come see me later.

- Single over here, so...

- So I've known Eugene for a long time now.

Probably longer than any of his other friends.

When we took a trip to Big Sur last year,

he said, "Steve, I met this girl."

And I said, "What's her name?"

And he said, "Her name is Ella."

And I said, "Ella, that's beautiful. I mean,

that's what the Greeks call Greece, they call it Ellas."

And I was like, "Is she the one, Eugene?"

And he said, "Steve...

"I know."

And I just wanna say, may you love

each other more every single day.

I love you, Eugene.

(friends cheering)

- We love you, we love you, we love you!

- Hey, Steven.

- Max.

- That was a beautiful speech.

- You know, I couldn't have done today without your help.

I'm not the best man, we're the best men.

- Get over here, hermano.

(friends cheer)

- I don't know if I can do another wedding, man.

- No, no way.

- It was a really pretty ceremony.

- It was adorable.

- He looked amazing.

- He looked incredible.

(phones beep)

- [All] No effing way!

(all laugh)

- [Male friend] Literally all of our

friends are getting married.

- [Steve] Every one of 'em.

- Hey, wanna get out of here?

- Uh, it's happening.