I've tried coffee, but never Starbucks.

I don't like coffee.

I've been in a Starbucks if that counts.

If I put a ton of milk in it, it'll be okay.

Standard Starbucks coffee.

It smells terrible.

I usually like the smell of coffee, this one does seem really bitter to me.

Alright, here I go.

It's smooth, I'll give it that.

Nothing special about it. Not for me anyway.

Burnt dirt.

I don't know how people drink this.

Tastes a little bit more like machine oil than it does coffee.

So this looks fun.

Real coffee drinkers think this is basically dessert.

Is there coffee in this?

That's not bad.

I get it now.

It's like a milkshake, with just a little bit of coffee flavor.

It's just sugar.

This is probably what God enjoys every single morning.

Yeah, the only reason that I like this is because it's barely coffee, which I imagine is the reason why it's so popular.

I could see people like, associating a drink like this with the "basic" term.

People be like, "Mmm, drinking coffee", but you're not drinking coffee.

But those basic bitches are clearly on to something.

Can I keep this?

Yeah.

Excellent.

It sounds like, very foreign and exciting like, "Oh, I'll have a caramel macchiato."

Wasn't it started in Seattle? Like, let's drop this Italian pretense.

Nope.

This I actually... don't mind.

This is more of an adult drink.

Would totally rather have the frappuccino than the macchiato.

This is for indecisive people.

People who are like, "I don't wanna drink straight-up coffee, but I also don't wanna have the guilt that comes along with this one."

If it was a matter of life and death, and I had to pick a coffee item from Starbucks, I would pick the caramel macchiato.

Life or death though.

Oh, I don't think they live up to the hype at all.

I'll definitely go back for that frappuccino.

I'm not going to start drinking coffee.

If I did go to Starbucks again, I would just order these.

I don't think that their product is necessarily superior to anyone else's.

I'm gonna turn into Beavis at any moment.

Cappuccino!

Macchiato for my bung hole!