Is the defense ready to present their closing arguments?

Yes, Your Honor.

The prosecution would have you believe that To Kill a Mockingbird is guilty: guilty of

being a required read in English classrooms and, by association, guilty of putting generations

of students to sleep.

Nothing ruins a book like having to read it as an assignment, they say.

But, ladies and gentlemen, remember those four words: Beyond a reasonable doubt.

You'll recall the defense's lineup of all-star witnesses. Those who read the book in school

and say it still changed their lives. Those who swam through the sea of nausea-inducing

lit terms—themes, symbols, motifs—and loved this book for what it really is: A coming-of

age story about confronting injustice and still finding a reason for hope.

You heard from those who forgot—FORGOT—they read this book in English class because it's

just such a darn good story.

The verdict is clear, ladies and gentlemen: You must acquit. Even English class can't

spoil To Kill a Mockingbird.