Aaah, I just got my eye a little bit.

(funky music)

I know nothing about eyeliner, and just the idea of it terrifies me.

Maybe girls wear it to hide their eye boogers?

I think girls wear eyeliner just because it kind of makes your eyes pop.

What if I just open my eyes wider?

Is now a bad time to tell you I have a phobia of being stabbed in the eye?

Yeah, this looks pretty classic.

This is what I am used to seeing on women.

I'm supposed to do this?

(bleep)

Not going to be much classic look after I'm done with this.

How do I approach this part?

Do I close the eye, or do I open it?

Oh God. My hand is shaking.

Oh. (bleep)

Can you see this? I'm literally crying right now.

(laughing)

Is it supposed to connect with my eyebrow?

I'm going to look like a raccoon after this.

Oh man, this is not going good.

Golly, this is (bleep) terrifying, man.

Why do they have to make it look like a (bleep) needle?

Handlebar eyeliner, yeah!

Like I'm, aah! Like I'm dangerous.

Oh man, it's sticking.

Yep. That's it.

Oh (bleep), I look pretty as (bleep)!

Damn.

I don't know how you do this, ladies.

I can't, I'm not even to the hard one.

I'm on the classic one, and I am bawling.

Oh, is there an under, too?

Nice one. Fishtail?

Even if I did this correctly, this picture is stupid.

Who wants parentheses next to their eyeball?

This one's like, sexy.

This is the club look.

This one is like, you're going out, you're trying to get some dxxx.

And I like dick too, so hopefully this helps.

I can't see.

I used to watch my mom put on her eyeliner in the mirror and I never thought I would have to do that same activity.

Oh no. I didn't connect them somehow.

Why am I having so much trouble with this?

How do you guys do this so easily?

It's all about relaxation.

If you get panicked, you're going to (bleep) your line up.

(laughing)

This is my eyeball's way of saying, please don't do this anymore.

My girlfriend does this in the car in the mirror while I am bumping around in traffic.

I can't believe she does this.

This is amazing.

Then I add the little fishtail down there, and then it turns into blue tears.

Boom. That's my fishtail.

This looks terrible.

I think I'm done.

Like I don't think I can improve this.

(laughing)

I don't like that one as much, and it's probably because I just did a shitty job.

I don't feel pretty anymore.

Didn't go too well. Let's put it that way.

I look like I got punched in the face.

This is what happened.

It looks so good on the paper.

It does make you look sexier though. I will say.

Just like even the way this looks a hot ass mess, I feel a little bit more like, jazzy.

(bell ringing)

(funky music)