[phone dings and vibrates]

Oh, hold on a second. Mm-hmm.

Oh, hell no.

He did not just text me he working late.

That shit is weak.

Okay.

You know what, working late, my ass.

If he don't walk through that door

in the next half an hour,

he may as well not even come home tonight

'cause I'm not gonna be there waiting for his cheating ass.

- Okay! - All right, girl?

I ain't playing. You know what I'm saying?

I mean, I will be there waiting because--

But he gonna have to put up with a lot of shit from me.

Okay.

And if he think he gonna do this shit again,

he is sorely mistaken...

Okay!

Because my man gets one chance.

- Okay! - One.

- Okay! - And then after that,

- he get one more... - Okay...

And then after that, he gonna get three strikes.

- Then you're out. - Okay...

And if I ever find out that my man was messing around on me,

he better get as far away from me as he possibly can

because he do not want to get what I'm gonna give to him.

Okay.

I got my motherfucking real estate license...

Okay!

But if and when he does come home, that's fine...

Okay.

'Cause he can go out

and get all turnt up with these little side hos

and whatnot 'cause you know what, bitch?

He always gonna come home.

- All right? - Okay.

I'm the queen bee, and he always gonna come home to me.

- You know what? - Okay...

But you know what, but you know what, but you know what?

- I don't even care. - Oh, okay.

But I'll tell you what happen if he do come home.

Okay.

He ain't gonna be pulling any of that shit in my house.

Okay...

He can come to the house if he wants to,

but he ain't never gonna do that when I'm home.

- Okay. - You know what?

Even if I'm home, it's fine.

Okay...

You know what I'm talking about?

Mm, okay.

'Cause I don't give a good goddamn.

- Okay. - That's what I'm talking about.

But he ain't gonna bring that shit into my bedroom.

I tell you that much right now, okay?

Okay.

'Cause there ain't no trifling-ass nigga

gonna wake me up while he's cheating on me in my bed again.

Okay...

And I told him. I looked him right in the face.

I said, "This is the fifth and last time that you"--

Okay!

[exhales]

I couldn't have said it better myself, girl.

- You're right. - Okay?

You just been spouting words of wisdom all evening.

I ain't listening to a

[high-pitched] goddamn thing you saying.

[quietly] Okay.

I don't even know what the hell I was thinking, girl.

You right.

The second that that man walks through that door,

I'ma dump his ass.

O...kay.

- Okay? - Okay.

Oh, my gosh, speak of the devil.

[romantic music]

♪ ♪

O...kay.