I can't afford this place on my own right now.

You could get a roommate.

Okay, okay. Hear me out: The Internet.

Hey, thanks for coming.

We're just doing some interviews to see who fits best for the roommate...position.

Yeah, we're gonna ask you some questions, cool?

-Uhhhhh

How often do you clean?

I...I shower.

Tell me about yourself.

I'm really passionate about cats. And vampires.

How about vampire cats?

[ Nods seriously, says nothing ]

I moved here for Uni a few years back so I'm looking for a place to settle in.

[ Dee ]: Rachel, do you know an Officer Smith?

[ Amy ]: The relationship audit for the common law partnership of Deanne Warson and Rachel Mannt will begin?

My visa expires soon, if I didn't get a sponsor I'd be deported!

[ Amy ]: Online videos are huge.

Start up your camera, make a couple videos acting all couple-ish

Bing, bang, boom. You've got your asses covered and I've got blackmail material for life.

[ Dee clears their throat ]

Just kidding about the last part.

[ Rachel ]: I think Dee has a boyfriend.

[ Amy ]: Dee has you. It is rude not to tell your pretend girlfriend about your secret boyfriend, I think.

Amy, Rachel, this is Edmond.

I'm non-binary.

[ a bite of bacon-laced confusion ]

So you're still spreading that nonsense then?

I thought you'd grown up.

[ Mrs. Warson ] We all have things about ourselves that we don't like.

And the rest of us get on with our lives.

Okay, everybody has their stories down, right? Rach?

I just love you so much Deanne.

Okay...Amy?

I'm in love with ass-face here.

That's cute butt face, love.