I woke up early on Queen's Day here in Amsterdam, because Henry was all like, "I don't always

我在阿姆斯特丹的國王日一大早起床，但亨利表示：「我不是每天都

wake up at 5:42 in the morning, but when I do, I expect to be fed." The Yeti and I dressed

清晨 5:41 起床，但當我這麼做時，我希望能吃到東西。」當天早上，我和雪人幫他換上

him in a Dirk Kuyt jersey and headed down to the Vondelpark that morning. The streets

一件 Dirk Kuyt 的運動衫，並前往凡德爾公園

of Amsterdam were abandoned and only ducks were on the canals although the port-a-potties

阿姆斯特丹的街道被遺棄了，只有運河的鴨子和遠處的流動廁所

in the distance hinted that a party was brewing.

隱約看得出一場派對即將開始

As we walked we passed this Emily Dickinson poem "To make a prairie it takes a clover

我們經過埃米莉 · 狄更生的詩句：「產生一座大草原需要一片三葉草

and one bee, / One clover, and a bee. / And revery. / The revery alone will do, / If bees

和一隻蜜蜂，/一片三葉草和一隻蜜蜂。/和幻想。/只需要幻想，/如果蜜蜂

are few."

太少。」

When we got to the Vondelpark, families were already setting up their stations for the

當我們抵達凡德爾公園，人們已開始擺設自由市場的攤位

freemarket, which is so called because none of the items in it are free, not even the

名稱由來是因為裡面沒有一樣東西是免費的

back issues of Donald Duck comics.

連唐老鴨的過期漫畫都不是

Queen's Day is a celebration of Queen Beatrix's mother's birthday, and it involves this strange

國王日是為了慶祝貝婭特麗克絲皇后的母親生日

city-wide garage sale where people sell artwork, and old clothes, and unicycle with hula hoops

這天，整座城市的人們會開始車庫售物，他們販賣舊衣、獨輪車附贈呼拉圈

for tips, and offer carnival games, and oh my God to be kid on a lake in a bubble. It

提供嘉年華遊戲，和我的老天，湖泊上有小孩在泡泡裡面

was pretty great, but Henry just wanted to play in the sandbox. He was like, "Guys, look

這真的很棒，但亨利只想在沙堆玩。他心想：「大家

at this stuff! It is AMAZING."

看看這個，真是酷炸了。」

After a while we walked back to the apartment, and I watched thousands of people streaming

過了一會兒我們走回公寓，我看著上千人潮湧向

downtown. And then I met up with nerdfighter Tobias who was the only person in all of Amsterdam

市中心。我遇到蠢人戰士托比亞斯，全阿姆斯特丹唯一

not wearing orange.

沒穿橘衣服的人

Tobias: I looked in my wardrobe and I didn't have anything orange.

托比亞斯：我檢查了我的衣櫥，我沒有橘色的東西

John: You're embarrassing yourself.

約翰：你在使自己困窘

John: I'm starting to feel a little anxious. Tobias: Why?

約翰：我開始有點擔憂。托比亞斯：為什麼？

John: Just because of the number of people who are here and also wearing orange, which

約翰：只是因為這裡一堆人都穿橘色

is very anxious color for me.

一種讓我焦慮的顏色

There were no more ducks in the canal and no more empty streets, just a lot of people

現在運河已經沒有鴨子、街道也不在空曠

and free inflatable hats.

只剩很多人跟寬大的帽子

John: Now that we've got these hats, it's definitely a party.

約翰：現在我們有這個帽子，這絕對是場派對

Tobias: Yeah, it is.

托比亞斯：是啊

We finally made it down to the museumplein where a hundred thousand drunk people were

我們最後終於到了博物館廣場，那裏有千百個喝醉的人們

listening to music, whereupon Tobias tried to teach me how to say "Queen's Day" in Dutch.

在聽音樂，於是托比亞斯試著教我怎麼用荷蘭文說「國王日」

John: CO-nin-nin-nin-dag Tobias: Koninginnedag

約翰：CO-nin-nin-nin-dag 托比亞斯：Koninginnedag

John: Ko-nininachdach Tobias: Koninginnedag

約翰：Ko-nininachdach 托比亞斯：Koninginnedag

John: Ko-ni-- Photobomber: Koninginnedag WAHHHHHGH!

約翰：Ko-ni-- 照片炸彈 (在別人拍照時亂入的人)：Koninginnedag WAHHHHHGH!

We got photobombed quite a lot down there in the museumplein.

我們在博物館廣場上遇到不少照片炸彈

On the walk home Tobias and I had an impassioned discussion in RE: the providence of this liquid,

在回程途中，托比亞斯和我又熱烈的討論這種液體的意旨

and then he bought a biography of Elton John at a free market.

然後我們在自由市場買了一本艾爾頓 · 約翰的傳記

John: We just saw a guy trading underwear for Rice Krispie treats. Which is the kind

約翰：我們剛才看見一個傢伙在用內衣褲交換西式米香

of thing that, like, does happen, but not at 2:20 in the afternoon.

這種事的確會發生，但絕不是在下午 2:20

Finally, after an hour of pushing through crowds I made it home. Techno was rattling

最後，在一小時在人潮中推擠後我到家了，技工在

our apartment, but I was happy to live in a world that finds cause to celebrate. And

我們的公寓嘎嘎作響，但我很高興能夠活在一個找到理由歡慶的世界

happier still that, by law, the party ended at 9 p.m. That's just good government regulation

儘管很開心，根據法律派對要在 9 點結束。這是良好的政府規範

at work, Hank. I'll see you on Wednesday.

漢克，我們星期三見了