as we go through life?

在我們的生活中？

If you were going to invest now

如果你現在要投資

in your future best self,

在你未來最好的自己。

where would you put your time and your energy?

你會把你的時間和精力放在哪裡？

There are lots of answers out there.

外面有很多答案。

We're bombarded with images of what's most important in life.

我們'被生活中最重要的影像轟炸。

The media are filled with stories of people who are rich

媒體上充斥著很多人發財的故事。

and famous and building empires at work.

並在工作中建立帝國。

And we believe those stories.

而我們相信這些故事。

There was a recent survey of millennials

最近有一項關於千禧一代的調查。

asking them what their most important life goals were,

問他們最重要的人生目標是什麼。

and over 80 percent said

而超過80%的人表示

that a major life goal for them was to get rich.

他們的一個主要人生目標就是發財。

And another 50 percent of those same young adults

而另外50%的年輕人

said that another major life goal

說，另一個重要的人生目標

was to become famous.

是為了成名。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder

我們不斷地被告知要靠著工作，要更加努力地工作

and achieve more.

並取得更大的成績。

We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after

我們給人的印象是，這些都是我們需要去追求的東西

in order to have a good life.

為了有一個好的生活。

But is that true?

但這是真的嗎？

Is that really what keeps people happy as they go through life?

這真的是讓人在生活中快樂的原因嗎？

Pictures of entire lives,

整個生活的照片。

of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them,

人們所做的選擇以及這些選擇對他們的影響。

those pictures are almost impossible to get.

這些照片幾乎不可能得到。

Most of what we know about human life

我們對人類生活的大部分了解

we know from asking people to remember the past,

我們從問人記事中得知。

and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20.

我們知道，事後諸葛亮是什麼 但20/20。

We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life,

我們會忘記生活中發生在我們身上的大量事情。

and sometimes memory is downright creative.

有時候，記憶力簡直就是創意。

Mark Twain understood this.

馬克-吐溫明白這一點。

He's quoted as saying,

他'的引見說。

"Some of the worst things in my life never happened."

"我生命中最糟糕的一些事情從來沒有發生過.&quot。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And research shows us that we actually remember the past more positively

而研究表明，我們對過去的記憶其實更積極一些。

as we get older.

隨著年齡的增長。

I'm reminded of a bumper sticker that says,

我'想起了一個保險槓貼紙，上面寫著：。

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

"擁有一個快樂的童年，永遠不會太晚&quot。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But what if we could watch entire lives

但是，如果我們可以觀看整個生活

as they unfold through time?

當他們通過時間展開？

What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers

如果我們能從人的青少年時期開始研究他們呢？

all the way into old age

垂垂老矣

to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?

來看看真正能讓人快樂和健康的是什麼？

We did that.

我們做到了。

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

哈佛成人發展研究

may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.

可能是最長的成人生活研究，'的曾經做過。

For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men,

75年來，我們已經追蹤了724個男人的生活。

year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health,

年復一年，詢問他們的工作、家庭生活、健康狀況。

and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories

當然也會一路問下去，卻不知道他們的人生故事是怎樣的。

were going to turn out.

是要變成。

Studies like this are exceedingly rare.

這樣的研究是極其罕見的。

Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade

幾乎所有的這類項目都在十年內分崩離析。

because too many people drop out of the study,

因為有太多的人退出了研究。

or funding for the research dries up,

或研究經費枯竭。

or the researchers get distracted,

或研究人員心不在焉。

or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field.

或者他們死了，沒有人再把球往下傳。

But through a combination of luck

但是，通過運氣的結合

and the persistence of several generations of researchers,

以及幾代研究者的堅持。

this study has survived.

這項研究已經倖存下來。

About 60 of our original 724 men

我們原來的724名男子中約有60人

are still alive,

還活著。

still participating in the study,

仍在參與研究。

most of them in their 90s.

他們中的大多數人在他們的90年代。

And we are now beginning to study

而我們現在開始研究

the more than 2,000 children of these men.

這些人的2 000多名子女。

And I'm the fourth director of the study.

而我'是研究的第四個主任。

Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men.

自1938年以來，我們'一直在追蹤兩組人的生活。

The first group started in the study

第一組開始在研究

when they were sophomores at Harvard College.

當他們在哈佛學院讀大二的時候。

The were from what Tom Brokaw has called "the greatest generation".

他們來自湯姆-布羅考所謂的"最偉大的一代"。

They all finished college during World War II,

他們都在二戰期間完成了大學學業。

and then most went off to serve in the war.

然後大部分人都去服兵役了。

And the second group that we've followed

而第二組，我們已經跟進的'。

was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,

是一群來自波士頓'最貧窮街區的男孩。

boys who were chosen for the study

被選為研究對象的男孩

specifically because they were from some of the most troubled

特別是因為他們來自一些最麻煩的地方。

and disadvantaged families

和弱勢家庭

in the Boston of the 1930s.

在20世紀30年代的波士頓。

Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.

大多數人住在公寓裡，許多人沒有冷熱自來水。

When they entered the study,

當他們進入研究。

all of these teenagers were interviewed.

所有這些青少年都接受了採訪。

They were given medical exams.

他們進行了體檢。

We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents.

我們去了他們的家裡，我們採訪了他們的父母。

And then these teenagers grew up into adults

然後這些青少年長大成人

who entered all walks of life.

進入各行各業的人。

They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors,

他們成了工廠工人、律師、磚匠和醫生。

one President of the United States.

一位美國總統；

Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia.

有些人發展為酗酒。少數人患上了精神分裂症。

Some climbed the social ladder

一些人爬上了社會的階梯

from the bottom all the way to the very top,

從最底層一直到最頂層。

and some made that journey in the opposite direction.

而有些人則反其道而行之。

The founders of this study

本研究的創始人

would never in their wildest dreams

做夢也想不到

have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later,

沒想到75年後的今天，我會站在這裡。

telling you that the study still continues.

告訴你，研究還在繼續。

Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff

每兩年，我們的耐心和敬業的研究人員

calls up our men and asks them if we can send them

叫上我們的人，問他們能不能派他們去。

yet one more set of questions about their lives.

又多了一個關於他們生活的問題。

Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,

很多波士頓內城的男人問我們。

"Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting."

"你為什麼一直想研究我？我的生活就是不'有趣的&quot。

The Harvard men never ask that question.

哈佛的人從來不會問這個問題。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

To get the clearest picture of these lives,

為了最清楚地瞭解這些生活。

we don't just send them questionnaires.

我們不只是給他們發問卷。

We interview them in their living rooms.

我們在他們的客廳裡採訪他們。

We get their medical records from their doctors.

我們從他們的醫生那裡拿到他們的病歷。

We draw their blood, we scan their brains,

我們抽他們的血，我們掃描他們的大腦。

we talk to their children.

我們和他們的孩子談話。

We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns.

我們錄下他們與妻子的談話，講述他們最深切的擔憂。

And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives

而當，大約十年前，我們終於問妻子們

if they would join us as members of the study,

如果他們願意加入我們成為研究的成員。

many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."

許多婦女說，"你知道，這是關於時間.&quot。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So what have we learned?

那麼我們學到了什麼呢？

What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages

從數萬頁的文件中，我們得到了什麼啟示？

of information that we've generated

的資訊，我們已經產生

on these lives?

在這些生活上？

Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder.

好吧，這些教訓並不是關於財富或名聲，也不是關於更努力、更辛苦的工作。

The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this:

從這75年的研究中，我們得到的最清晰的資訊是：。

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

良好的人際關係能讓我們更快樂，更健康。期。

We've learned three big lessons about relationships.

我們'學到了關於關係的三大教訓。

The first is that social connections are really good for us,

第一，社會關係對我們真的很好。

and that loneliness kills.

孤獨會殺死人

It turns out that people who are more socially connected

事實證明，與社會關係較好的人。

to family, to friends, to community,

對家人，對朋友，對社會。

are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer

是更快樂，他們'身體更健康，他們的壽命更長。

than people who are less well connected.

比起那些人緣較差的人。

And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.

而孤獨的體驗，原來是有毒的。

People who are more isolated than they want to be from others

那些比他們更願意與他人隔離的人

find that they are less happy,

發現他們不那麼快樂。

their health declines earlier in midlife,

他們的健康狀況在中年早期有所下降。

their brain functioning declines sooner

他們的大腦功能會更快地衰退

and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

而且他們的壽命比不寂寞的人短。

And the sad fact is that at any given time,

而可悲的是，在任何時候。

more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.

超過五分之一的美國人將報告，他們&#39；孤獨。

And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd

我們知道你在人群中會很孤獨

and you can be lonely in a marriage,

而你在婚姻中也會很孤獨。

so the second big lesson that we learned

所以我們學到的第二大教訓

is that it's not just the number of friends you have,

是它'不只是你有多少朋友。

and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship,

和它'不是是否你'在一個承諾的關係。

but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

但重要的是你親密關係的品質。

It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health.

事實證明，生活在衝突中，對我們的健康真的很不利。

High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection,

比如說，高衝突的婚姻，沒有太多的感情。

turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced.

結果對我們的健康非常不利，也許比離婚還糟糕。

And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.

而生活在良好的、溫暖的人際關係中，是一種保護。

Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s,

有一次，我們跟著我們的人一直到80多歲。

we wanted to look back at them at midlife

我們想在中年的時候回頭看看他們。

and to see if we could predict

並看看我們是否能預測

who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian

他要長成一個快樂健康的八旬老人。

and who wasn't.

和誰不是'。

And when we gathered together everything we knew about them

當我們把我們所知道的關於他們的一切聚集在一起時

at age 50,

50歲時。

it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels

它不是'他們的中年膽固醇水準

that predicted how they were going to grow old.

預測他們將如何變老。

It was how satisfied they were in their relationships.

是他們對自己的感情有多滿意。

The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50

50歲時對感情最滿意的人。

were the healthiest at age 80.

是80歲時最健康的。

And good, close relationships seem to buffer us

而良好的親密關係似乎可以緩衝我們的壓力

from some of the slings and arrows of getting old.

從一些彈弓和箭的老去。

Our most happily partnered men and women

我們最幸福的男女伴侶。

reported, in their 80s,

報道，80多歲的。

that on the days when they had more physical pain,

那在他們身體比較疼痛的日子裡。

their mood stayed just as happy.

他們的心情就這樣快樂的待著。

But the people who were in unhappy relationships,

但關係不愉快的人。

on the days when they reported more physical pain,

在他們報告更多身體疼痛的日子裡。

it was magnified by more emotional pain.

它被更多的情感痛苦所放大。

And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health

我們學到的關於人際關係和健康的第三大課。

is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies,

是好的人際關係不只是保護我們的身體。

they protect our brains.

他們保護我們的大腦。

It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship

原來，在一段牢靠的感情中。

to another person in your 80s is protective,

對另一個80多歲的人是保護。

that the people who are in relationships

戀愛中的人

where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need,

在那裡，他們真正感到在需要的時候可以依靠對方。

those people's memories stay sharper longer.

那些人'的記憶保持更清晰的時間。

And the people in relationships

而關係中的人

where they feel they really can't count on the other one,

在他們覺得自己真的不能指望對方的地方。

those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.

這些人都是記憶力下降較早的人。

And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time.

而那些好的關係，並不一定要一直平穩。

Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other

我們的一些八旬夫婦可以互相爭吵的。

day in and day out,

日復一日，日復一日。

but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other

但只要他們覺得自己真的可以依靠其他的人

when the going got tough,

當事情變得艱難的時候。

those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.

那些爭論並沒有對他們的記憶造成傷害。

So this message,

所以這個消息。

that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being,

良好的親密關係有利於我們的健康和幸福。

this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.

這是智慧的'是古老的山丘。

It's your grandmother's advice, and your pastor's.

這'是你奶奶'的建議，也是你牧師'的建議。

Why is this so hard to get?

為什麼這麼難搞？

For example, with respect to wealth, we know

例如，在財富方面，我們知道

that once your basic material needs are met,

一旦你的基本物質需求得到滿足。

wealth doesn't do it.

財富沒有'做。

If you go from making 75,000 dollars a year

如果你從年薪7萬5千美元

to 75 million,

到7500萬。

we know that your health and happiness will change very little,

我們知道，你的健康和幸福不會有什麼變化。

if at all.

如果有的話。

When it comes to fame,

說到名氣。

the constant media intrusion

媒妁之言

and the lack of privacy

和缺乏隱私的問題

make most famous people significantly less healthy.

使大多數名人的健康狀況明顯下降。

It certainly doesn't keep them happier.

這當然不會讓他們更開心。

And as for working harder and harder,

而至於工作上，則要更加努力，更加辛苦。

there is that truism that nobody on their death bed

俗話說："人死不能復生

ever wished they had spent more time at the office.

曾經希望他們花更多的時間在辦公室。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore?

為什麼這麼難得到，又這麼容易被忽略？

Well, we're human.

嗯，我們是人類。

What we'd really like is a quick fix,

我們'真正想要的是快速解決。

something we can get

能得到

that'll make our lives good and keep them that way.

那'會讓我們的生活變得美好，並讓他們保持這樣的狀態。

Relationships are messy and they're complicated

關係是混亂的，他們'是複雜的

and the hard work of tending to family and friends,

以及照顧家人和朋友的辛苦。

it's not sexy or glamorous.

這不是性感或迷人的。

It's also lifelong. It never ends.

它'也是終身的。它永遠不會結束。

The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement

在我們75年的研究中，退休後最幸福的人是誰？

were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates.

是積極努力用新的玩伴替換工作夥伴的人。

Just like the millennials in that recent survey,

就像最近那個調查中的千禧一代一樣。

many of our men when they were starting out as young adults

我們的許多男人在剛成年的時候

really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement

真的認為名利雙收，功成名就

were what they needed to go after to have a good life.

是他們需要去追求的好生活。

But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown

但是，在這75年裡，我們的研究一次又一次地顯示出

that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships,

表現最好的人是那些靠著關係的人。

with family, with friends, with community.

與家人，與朋友，與社會。

So what about you?

那你呢？

Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60.

比方說，你'25歲，或者你'40歲，或者你'60歲。

What might leaning in to relationships even look like?

傾力打造的人際關係究竟可能是什麼樣的？

Well, the possibilities are practically endless.

嗯，可能性實際上是無窮無盡的。

It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time

這可能是一些簡單的東西，如取代螢幕時間與人的時間。

or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together,