I was in the old city of Antigua in Guatemala,

我身在一個位於Guatemala，Antigua境內的古城

hailing a cab to go visit a client.

招呼了一輛計程車準備去見一名客戶

I got into the car, I was sitting on the back seat,

打開車門，我坐進那部車的後座，

busily preparing for the meeting I was about to have,

忙著為接下來的會面做準備，

when the driver attempted to engage me in conversation.

那位司機試圖希望我們能有些對話

"Where are you from?

「你從哪裡來的啊?」

What is your name?

「哎，你叫什麼名字?」

Are you here for work?

「你是為了公事才來嗎?」

What do you do?"

「你做什麼工作?」

And it didn't take too long for him to ask me:

問我「你喜歡這裡的天氣嗎?」

"How do you like the weather here in Guatemala?"

不會花他多少時間

I've been very fortunate to have a job that allowed me to travel the world,

我很幸運能夠擁有一份讓我能環遊世界的工作，

and to interact with people from all different cultures.

而且還能和不同文化的人交流

From the taxi driver, that drove me around Guatemala City,

從載我在 Guatemala 城內遊蕩的司機，

to the barista, who served me a cup of coffee

到在澳洲雪梨擁有一間小店的咖啡師傅

in a small coffee shop in Sydney, Australia,

請我喝一杯咖啡，

to the photographer, whose photo exhibition I happened to walk in

還有在倫敦我恰巧進入參訪的展覽，

while I was strolling through the streets of London,

拍攝那些作品的攝影師，

all these people started a conversation

他們都開啟了話題，

asking me the same type of questions.

也同樣問了相似的問題

Questions that would make the conversation feel scripted,

這些都是讓對話變的樣板的提問，

and that would put the conversation on a path of what I call:

而且還會讓彼此的對話走向

"Predictable superficiality".

「例行的表面功夫」一途

I mean, how much can you actually learn about a person

我的意思是，你能夠透過談論天氣

if you end up doing small talk about the weather?

了解一個人多少?

All of this changed sometime last year

不過一切都在去年有了改變

when I had the unexpected opportunity

就在一個偶然的機會下

to participate in an event called: "A Conversation Gala."

我去參加一個名為「A Conversation Gala」的活動

Now imagine receiving an invitation to an event

現在讓我們想像一你收到一張邀請函，

where you don't know the host,

但你不知道主辦人是誰，

you don't know the other guests,

也不知道另外會有哪些賓客，

and you also don't know the occasion.

你更不知道活動的內容

However, you do know that there's one rule

不過，你知道這場活動有一個規定，

that everyone has to stick to.

那就是大家必須互相認識

You're encouraged to meet other people, and have conversations,

你被鼓勵去認識更多人，而且彼此之間要有對話，

but you're not allowed to ask questions, or discuss topics

但你不能詢問或者是討論

that can otherwise be discovered

有可能會在 Facebook 上看到的

through the other person's Facebook profile.

任何話題

So I got to the event with absolutely no idea what to expect,

也就是我參加了一個全然無法預測將會如何進行的活動，

and I found myself in a room full of unfamiliar faces,

而且我處在一個完全沒有熟面孔的空間內，

and to break the ice, and to get the conversation going,

試圖要和大家攀談，並讓場面熱絡起來，

the host had provided handwritten cards with questions on them.

主辦者有提供提示小卡，可以當作我們的開場問題

Questions like: "Do you believe in karma?

例如「你相信輪迴嗎?」

What quality do you most appreciate in your mother?

「你最喜歡你媽媽的什麼特質?」

What scar of yours has the most interesting story to tell?

「你身上的哪一道傷疤背後有最有趣的故事?」

Rihanna or Beyonce?

「哎，你喜歡 Rihanna 還是 Beyonce?」

And seriously, do we still need cursive writing?"

「我很認真的問你哦，你覺得草書還有存在的必要嗎?」

So I took one of those cards,

所以，當天我就拿了其中一張卡，

I approached a person and I started a conversation,

走向前去和一個人搭話，

and then another person, and then a couple,

接著來了另一個人，再來是一對夫婦，

and then a group of people, and by the end of the night,

接下來是一群人，而最後在活動即將結束的時候，

we had talked about each other's family values, and childhood details.

我們彼此討論了大家對於家的價值及定義，還有童年的種種記憶

We went deep into the things that keep us up at night,

我們甚至討論到了什麼會讓我們興奮一整晚，

and the things that get us out of bed in the morning,

或是什麼會讓我們有即刻起床的動力，

and we also touched on the things that we felt, and the things we feared.

更討論到了我們對事物的感受，還有令我們恐懼的東西

All of that, with people whom I had met for only one evening,

我們和從未謀面，且可能不會再見的人，

and then never saw again.

討論如此深入的問題

I barely knew their names,

我幾乎不知道他們的名字，

but I had learned about their relationship with their parents.

但我知道他們和家人的相處狀況

And while I didn't know what they were doing for a living,

雖然我不知道他們做什麼工作，

I certainly knew their biggest regrets in life.

但我卻知道他們人生中最大的遺憾是什麼

The evening was very unique, and anything but usual.

那是個非凡的，獨一無二的傍晚

And it got me thinking --

這件事促使我思考，

thinking about how one simple rule

為什麼這麼簡單的遊戲規則，

made all the difference that evening,

會成就如此非凡的結果，

in terms of the strong connections that were built,

就讓我們在彼此間建構了穩固的連結，

and the meaningful stories that were shared.

和大家分享蘊含深意的小故事

And it also got me reflecting.

這件事也讓我反思

Reflecting upon how often

反思我們多常有機會

we have a chance to meet a new person in our lives,

可以在日常生活中認識新朋友，

and how sometimes these encounters end up being yearlong friendships,

反思有多少次如同這樣的際遇只會從我們記憶中消失，

while other encounters, we cannot even remember a few years later.

而有些卻得以成為深厚的友誼，

So what I didn't know that evening

我不知道的是，

was that I was a guinea pig.

在那次活動中我不過是隻天竺鼠

I was a guinea pig in a social experiment

不過是一隻參與了社會實驗的天竺鼠，

hosted by a non-profit company called: "Irrational Labs."

這個活動是由一個名為 Irrational Labs 的非營利組織舉辦的

The social experiment was based on a research paper,

這個社會實驗，是以一篇刊登在 Psychological Science 的

published in the Journal of Psychological Science,

研究為基礎去舉辦的，

which has found that more meaningful conversations

這個研究指出，更具意義的談話，

can actually lead

確實可以增進

to increase levels of happiness, and well-being.

幸福和愉悅的指數

Not necessarily because the content of the conversation

不是因為對話的內容

is of a more positive nature,

很積極正向，

but because deeper conversations

而是因為深度的談話

help us find more meaning, and importance in our own lives.

會幫助我們找尋生命中更有意義、更重要的事物

Nevertheless, even when we're surrounded by the smartest people,

然而，在日常生活中儘管我們周遭

and the people that have the most interesting stories to share,

有許多人背後藏著有趣的小故事，

we default to the lowest common denominator and small talk prevails.

我們的談話卻淪為庸俗的淺談

Researchers have also found that there are some things

許多學者也發現，我們時常持續做相同的事情，

we keep doing even when we understand that they're not ideal for us.

儘管那些事對我們來說可能有害無益

I think most of us would agree

我想大部分的人都會認為

that using the phone behind the wheel can be lethally dangerous.

在汽機車後面使用手機可能會有致命的危險

In fact 94% of all drivers surveyed support a ban on it.

事實上，經調查後，發現有百分之94的駕駛表示支持立法禁止這樣的行為

Nevertheless, drivers still pick up the phone.

儘管如此，絕大多數的人在同樣的情況下仍會有相同的行為

Same thing with projects,

就連企劃也會遇到有相同的問題，

and the fact that we start them very late,

雖然有日期的限制，

even though we have deadlines,

但通常我們都會拖到很晚才著手，

and that always, most certainly, results in high anxiety, and late nights.

而且我們幾乎都會因此而感到焦慮，還會熬夜

But we still procrastinate.

不過我們仍然會拖時間

And what about dinner conversation?

那關於我們晚餐討論的內容呢？

Well, nobody said that talking about the weather

說實在的，沒有人會說討論天氣

is either exciting or fulfilling. Yet we engage.

會讓人興奮或滿足，不過至少我們參與其中

So how can we get ourselves to break this habit of small talk

那我們又應該在我們了解這樣意義的情況，

even when we understand --

或者不甚了解的情況下，

even when it's sometimes harder not to?

去打破淺談的傳統?

So here's the thing to keep in mind --

那麼，你應該記住的是

There are 7 billion people in this world

世界上有 70 億人口，

each with an amazing, and unique story to share.

每個人都有專屬自己，獨一無二的精采故事能和你分享

The dreams that we pursue are different.

我們追求不同的夢想

The challenges that we have to overcome, and that shape us, are different,

我們經歷過的困難，遭遇的挑戰也全然不同，

and the memories that we carry in our hearts are different.

因此，我們擁有的回憶也是不一樣的

That makes 7 billion treasure boxes

這樣的不同造就了世界上70億的寶藏箱，

full of life lessons, wisdom, and experience.

有的藏有人生課題，有的具有人生智慧，有的富有人生經驗

So the next time you meet someone for the first time,

所以下一次你如果恰巧遇見了新朋友，

and you lose yourself to the mere exchange of small talk

但你忘記善用淺談的技巧來獲取這些寶物，

it is as if you went to museum in which you could explore

這就好比你去了一個藏有

the beauties of our past and marvel at the wonders of our future,

歷史記憶和未來展望的博物館，

but instead you just sit there, and you play on your smartphone.

但你卻將時間花在玩手機上而不是去汲取知識

Why would you do that?

你怎麼會想那樣做?

Now imagine how much

現在你再想像

you can actually learn about someone, and from someone,

你有多願意和其他人來一場新式的淺談，

if you approach each conversation with the innate curiosity

如果你都是用與生俱來的好奇心去加入每個談話

that you normally demonstrate as an infant.

如同你小時候所展現的好奇心

How much you could learn if you embrace the unknown

在你能擁抱未知

knowing that each person out there can help you

知道每一個人都對你有幫助

become a better version tomorrow, of who you are today,

在今天和明天都能成為更好的自己時，學習到多少？

and if you open yourself to the vast possibilities

如果你能敞開心胸，迎接各式各樣的可能性，

of how one single encounter with someone

接受任何一個可能會讓你人生有翻轉性改變的偶遇，

can truly change the trajectory of your life?

你會怎麼做?

All it takes for us

上述的例子

could be to be genuinely and authentically interested in the other person.

都可以讓我們誠心誠意地，對一個人產生極大的興趣

Not necessarily by their title, their resume, achievements or status,

不只是為了他們的頭銜，或是履歷，也不是成就或社會地位，

but in who they are as a human being, and the story that they have to share.

而是因為他們身為一個人，還有他們所乘載的故事

And often times it's the simplest people who can teach you the most.

而且大體來說，我們總能在平凡中學到最深刻的道理

I could have asked the barista in Sydney about the weather in Australia.

我大可以問那位雪梨的咖啡師傅有關澳洲天氣的問題

But I was rather interested in his motivation to be a barista.

但我對它成為一位咖啡師傅的動機更有興趣

So I asked him:

於是我就問他

"What makes you so passionate about coffee?"

「你為什麼對咖啡這麼有熱情，這麼感興趣?」

And he told me that his grandfather had migrated from Italy to Australia,

他就告訴我他的祖父是從義大利移民到澳洲的，

and that it has been a family tradition for over 5 generations

而這個職業

to work as a barista.

已經成了他們家超過五代的傳統

The photographer whose exhibition I happened to walk in,

而我恰巧走進觀賞拍攝作品的攝影師，

I didn't ask him how his exhibition went, I was rather interested in his memories.

我對他的攝影展辦得如何沒有興趣，我想知道他的回憶

So I asked him:

於是我就問他

"Which of your pictures evokes the most profound memories?"

「哪一張照片會勾起你最深刻的回憶?」

He then walked me to a photograph, describing it:

他就領著我走向一幅作品，並且描述它

"The last picture he took as a homeless person living on the streets of London."

「他以流浪漢的視角拍出的這張在倫敦街上的最後一張相片」

And my taxi driver in Guatemala,

還有那位 Guatemala 的計程車司機

I could have asked him: "How is your day?"

我當然可以問他「你今天過得怎麼樣？」

But I was rather interested in his emotions.

但我對他的心情更感興趣

So I asked him: "What made you happy today?"

所以我就問他，「今天發生什麼事讓你這麼開心啊？」

It turned out it was his 10-year wedding anniversary,

原來當天是他結婚10周年的紀念日，

and he was sharing this very, very beautiful story with me,

他就和我分享，在很多年以前一個

of how his wife once entered his cab as a passenger, many years ago.

有關他的老婆有一次搭乘他的計程車，到兩人攜手未來的浪漫故事

Yes, all of these conversations started with small talk,

當然，這些話題都從淺談開始，

and yes, to certain degree,

在某種程度上而言，

it was needed to build some initial rapport and comfort.

你必須先令人感到安心及舒適才有可能聽到他們的人生故事

But the key was really

但最重要的原因

to get off this track of predictable superficiality,

就是你必定先跳脫傳統淺談的規則，

and really touch on the things, and topics that make us who we are,

進而去討論一些讓彼此貼近自我，

our motivations, our memories, and our emotions.

例如我們的動機、我們的回憶、還有情緒。

Such slight change in language, and intention

只要在說話的方法做出這個小改變

can really open up a small window into the true spirit of another person,

就能打開走入他人心靈的那扇小窗口，

and allow us to have in-depth conversations

讓我們能有深度的交流，

that can truly lead to such meaningful, and memorable moments.

來交換我們珍貴的、有意義的回憶

Just imagine how many more strong connections we could build,

只要想像我們能建構出多麼穩固的連結，

how much more cross-cultural understanding we could create,

編織出不同文化思維的作品，

and how many interpersonal bridges we could build with people

和每個人之間築了做能通向彼此心靈的橋

that, one day, can impact our lives.

只要小舉動就能有大改變

This way, we could, maybe, finally see that each stranger out there

就樣一來，我們或許就能明白，

is actually just another friend that we haven't met yet.

任何一個陌生人都只是我們尚未謀面的朋友罷了

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

(掌聲)