>> When your child is acting up, you can try to distract them

or get them interested in something new.

If that doesn't work, you can use consequences.

Consequences let our children see what happens

when they misbehave.

There are 5 steps to using consequences

to reduce misbehavior.

Step one, identify the misbehavior you want to stop.

You want your child to know what behavior you

like and don't like.

>> Emma, I am so proud of you.

You are being so careful with your sippy cup.

>> Emma: [Inaudible] --

>> Hey let's play some more.

>> Step two, give a warning.

>> When there is a real consequence to it

that you give a warning as opposed to a threat.

You know this is going to happen if you don't change

and if it doesn't change then you follow through with it.

>> Use if then statements such as if you don't pick

up your toys like I asked then you will lose play time

this afternoon.

This gives your child a second chance to comply.

>> One of the things we often suggest to parents is

to give children at least two chances to follow instructions.

That way you can get around the possibility that maybe

in the first time around they didn't hear you.

>> Make sure your child knows there will be a consequence

for not doing what you asked.

Step three, give a consequence.

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For minor misbehaviors, you can ignore the behavior

and not reward your child with your attention.

>> One of the most valuable tools

that parents can use is ignoring.

So that is absolutely critical when parents feel

like their kids might be acting up just to get attention.

Ignoring is something that is really important for parents

to remember that removal of that attention

that is really allowing the child not to get their way.

>> Or you can delay a privilege.

Where you wait to give your child something

such as play time until after your child does what you want.

Or you could use a common sense consequence

where the consequence fits the misbehavior.

For example, you could take away the toy your child keeps

throwing at you.

Or you could use natural consequences

where you let the child live

with the natural result of her actions.

>> Oh, now Emma your cup's on the ground.

And I won't be able to pick it up for a while.

So it'll just have to stay down there until I'm done.

>> Never use natural consequences

when they put your child's safety at risk.

For more serious misbehaviors, you can use timeout

where you put your child in a quiet place away

from the things she might like such as toys.

Step four, tell them why.

Make sure your child understands what they did

to get the consequence.

>> Emma this isn't play time.

Mommy doesn't like it when you do that.

>> Step five, go back to positive communication.

After the consequence is over, go back to talking

and playing positively with your child.

Avoid lecturing your child or holding a grudge.

Be sure to give your child attention

for their good behavior.

>> A common challenge using negative consequences is

sometimes it's a kind of an emotional moment and you --

parents are stuck and they don't remember what to do.

>> Using consequences will help you stop your child from acting

up and it will also help keep similar problems

from happening in the future.

When possible try to use common sense consequences.

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