- Vitamins are the key to health

and perhaps the cure for the common cold.

Now how many of you have ever heard of vitamin megadoses?

- [Adam] I have, but I've also heard of fairies

and the Lock Ness monster

and those won't cure your cold either. (laughs)

- What?

- Vitamin supplements (annoyed groans) don't cure colds,

they don't prolong your life, and in some cases

they may actually be harmful.

So, what are vitamins?

- Huge pills that smell like old olives?

- Wrong! Anyone else?

Here we go.

- Candy that's shaped like cartoon characters.

- Wrong again, you're both thinking of vitamin supplements.

What are the vitamins themselves?

- Little bits of goop that your body needs,

I love you Tod.

- Exactly, they're a collection of various micronutrients

that are essential for your body to function normally.

- Yes! So vitamins make us healthy.

- (tire squealing) Except that by definition

vitamins are nutrients we only need a tiny little bit of,

and normally we get plenty of them from the food we eat.

- But what if I contract scurvy?

- You won't, scurvy is caused

by an extreme lack of vitamin C.

Pirates used to get it because they ate nothing

but hardtack biscuits for months.

But if you eat normal food in normal quantities

you'll be fine.

Like, just eat a lemon ever.

- (chomp) Me gums feel better already indeed.

- But getting more vitamins is even better.

- No it isn't.

Vitamins are sorta like cats.

If you have no cats you'll be lonely,

if you have a cat or two you'll feel better,

but that's enough cats.

No one needs to load up on cats.

(meowing and purring)

And just like with cats you don't want to overdo it.

Studies show that taking too much of some vitamins

like A, D, or E can actually make you sick.

- [Doctor] Well, even if that's true,

megadoses of vitamin C will cure--

- Nothing. Vitamin C does not treat or cure the common cold,

and products that claim it does are nonsense.

(fast dramatic piano music)

Remember Airborne?

- Sure, the cold medicine created by a school teacher.

It keeps you from getting colds

from touching the magazines on airplanes.

- That is not true.

Who gave you a medical license?

- Oprah.

(plop and fizz)

- Airborne is a cocktail of plain old vitamins

that was marketed as a cure for the common cold.

(clacking)

But in 2006 they were sued for false advertising

and ended up paying out 23 million dollars.

Airborne doesn't cure anything.

It's basically just bubbles.

(bubbling)

- But when I take vitamin C it makes me feel better.

(adoration noise from audience)

- [Adam] Yes, the placebo effect is very powerful,

but that's all it is.

In reality, at least 15 different studies

have concluded that vitamin C

does not treat the common cold.

(jeers from audience)

Hey, it's not my fault everyone believes

vitamins are magic,

It's Linus Pauling's fault.

- Great, can I go back to doing my show now?

Do not pan away, (disco music) come on!

- [Adam] Linus Pauling was a genius chemist

and the only person in history to be awarded

two solo Nobel prizes.

He was one of America's true scientific celebrities.

- Linus, I love your chemistry.

- Your research is amazing!

- [Adam] But in the early 70's,

Pauling became obsessed with the idea of living forever

and basically went vitamin crazy.

(dramatic music)

- Great Niels Bohr's ghost, I've got it.

(disco music)

- [Adam] He began claiming that massive doses of vitamin C

could prevent the common cold, prolong your life,

and even cure cancer.

And because he was a celebrity scientist (clapping)

the media trusted him.

- So these vita-pills will cure my sniffles?

- That's right, and get this,

you'll also never get sick or die.

- Sounds pretty far out,

but if the smartest cat in America's sayin' it,

it must be true!

(laughing)

Up next is Charro and puppet superstar Madame.

- No, no, no you don't!

We are going back to my show, where is it?

- (snap) This way!

But repeated studies have proven that Pauling

was totally wrong.

There is no medical basis for his claims

and in 1994 he actually died of cancer,

the very disease he claimed vitamins would cure.

- You're telling me that vitamin supplements are a lie

and we only believe in them because one man went crazy?

- Yeah, Pauling was the Michael Jackson of nutrition.

He totally changed the game,

we had no idea how crazy he was,

and 40 years later we're still hummin' the tunes.

- Wow, that's bad.

- It's bad, you know it.

(pop music)

Hey, I'm Adam from College Humor.

If you liked that clip, make sure to check out my new show

"Adam Ruins Everything" Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on truTV.

It's gonna ruin your Tuesday but trust me,

the rest of your week'll be fine.