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  • (whistling)

  • (upbeat pop music)

  • - Alright ladies, would you like

  • to see our wine list?

  • - That sounds perfect.

  • (thump)

  • (climatic classical music)

  • - Yes, let's talk about wine. Ha!

  • - There are so many, how am I supposed to choose.

  • - Have you ever noticed that when

  • it's time to choose a wine none

  • of us feel like we know what we're doing.

  • - This one's fancy, I think.

  • - Since we can't taste the wines before we buy

  • them we're forced to pick just based on the label.

  • - This one has a frog wearing a hat

  • so I bet that tastes like, mossy?

  • - This one's by Francis Ford Coppola,

  • I like his movies so I bet it tastes

  • like, um, the godfather?

  • - This one says ketchup, am I holding

  • a bottle of ketchup? (gasp)

  • - And even when we do taste them

  • we doubt our own opinions.

  • - Mmm, this is, um, dry.

  • - This one's full bodied...

  • - Are you sure?

  • - No, what is a wine body!?

  • - Yeah, this is clearly wet.

  • - So we defer to the opinion of so called wine experts.

  • - Perhaps I can be of some assistance ladies.

  • - Oh thank god.

  • - Tell us what tastes good.

  • - Like, we're pretending this whole time.

  • - But the truth is, everyone is pretending

  • because even though wine connoisseurs want

  • us to believe that their ratings are objective...

  • - That one's fit to drink, that is cheap swill

  • and that is a bottle of ketchup.

  • - And they have supernatural powers of wine discernment...

  • - Mmm. A 1934, tastes like it was a very

  • cold summer that year and uh (slurps)

  • the vendor's wife was pregnant, hold on

  • (slurps) with a girl.

  • (gasps)

  • - Here's the big secret, wine experts

  • can't tell the difference either.

  • - I beg to differ sir, my palate is incredibly refined.

  • - Well Frederick Brochette of the University

  • of Bordeaux would say otherwise.

  • He conducted a series of tests on unsuspecting wine

  • experts but for the sake of TV let's call them wine pranks.

  • - [Voiceover] Wine pranks!

  • - For the first test 54 wine connoisseurs were

  • asked to compare a red and a white wine.

  • Ha, should be pretty easy.

  • - The red is juicy and robust. The white,

  • (slurps)

  • it's bright with notes of, uh, vanilla and oak.

  • - Wrong! They're actually the same wine.

  • (loud buzzing)

  • Half of the bottles were just white wine

  • dyed red and none of the participants could tell.

  • - I never!

  • - [Voiceover] Wine pranks!

  • - In another test experts were asked

  • to compare two different bottles.

  • One an expensive Grand Cru

  • and the other a cheap table wine.

  • - The Grand Cru, complex, very very interesting.

  • I shall be returning to the Grand Cru.

  • (coo-coo)

  • - Fon-Du-Tab. It's light, it's flat,

  • it's pretty much what you'd expect.

  • - Ah, that's interesting because once

  • again they're the same wine!

  • (screatching)

  • Brochette just put the same wine

  • in two different bottles and none

  • of the socalled wine experts even noticed.

  • - [Voiceover] Plain drinks, wine drinks.

  • Wah-ho! You got wine pranked!

  • - Alright, you've convinced me.

  • All wine is terrible and it tastes the same.

  • - No wine is wonderful and of course

  • wines taste different it's just totally

  • subjective like all foods, we don't

  • need sandwhich experts because

  • we know what we like, peanut butter and sardines. Ha!

  • What? They're both healthy fats and it's what I like.

  • If you don't like it, it doesn't matter because there's

  • no objective truth to what tastes best.

  • We think of wine as a high class item

  • only accessible by high class people

  • but it's just tasty formented grapes.

  • So, you know what, forget the snobs.

  • Take risks and drink what tastes good to you.

  • - Wait, really? You mean I can drink whatever I want?

  • - Yeah.

  • - Freedom! Ah ha ha ha ha!

  • Who wants to split a box of white zin? Yeah!

  • (gurgling)

  • I've missed this so much! I love it!

  • (gurgling)

  • (thump)

  • (quick beat)

  • - Hey I'm Adam from College Humor

  • if you liked that clip make sure to

  • check out my new show Adam Ruins Everything

  • Tuesdays at 10pm on Tru TV, it's gonna ruin your

  • Tuesday but trust me the rest of your week will be fine.

(whistling)

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