Just uh, just gonna do one of those.

Hi, I'm Zach and I'm single as fuck.

Zach, don't fall in love with me.

Hi, I'm Ashly, I'm gonna marry Zach for a week.

Which is probably a huge mistake.

It's gonna be great!

Thank you. - You're welcome.

Honestly, a lot of the time, I love being single. I really do.

I do whatever I want, whenever I want.

I'm an independent woman.

I've never had to plan my life around another person.

I'm not good at letting people into my life.

Committing to another person for the rest of your life is a crazy, crazy... [NED FULMER | Literally the most married person I know]

Just as you said that, and my heartbeat just went up.

I want to be in relationships, I do.

At some point, I want to share my life with someone, and the logistics of that seem a little frightening.

This is like, immersion therapy.

Are you gonna carry me over the threshold? [DAY ONE]

No, you carry me.

Why do you have so much shit?

Because we're gonna be together for a week!

Four texts a day, five meals over the course of a week, two nice things that are completely unplanned. [Eat, sleep and live together. | Communicate every day. | Coordinate meals. | 2+ random acts of love]

Each?

Each.

Let's just do one.

Where do I put my stuff?

Oh my god, I didn't even think about this.

I guess I'll have to move my kimono.

So I think, at some point, I'm just kinda want him to shut up.

You really-- I'm making your bed?

It's our bed.

And I know he is definitely gonna want me to shut up.

The only CD that I have in my car is Taylor Swift and then I like, Spotify other things. -Which is like, almost a year old now.

I spen- It doesn't matter, it's the best CD.

Like most married couples, it's gonna be completely sexless.

Would you say that's accurate?

No.

How do you sleep?

I sleep in fetal position, like a little baby. -So do I.

You have to be comfortable around the other person.

Broccoli makes you fart.

I assume it's gonna teach me a lot about myself.

Best part about being married so far?

Ashley has got citrus mimosa shampoo.

I smell like a damn tree.

Definitely gonna teach me a lot about Ashley.

Ooh, Wonder Woman pajamas.

We should probably get some alcohol.

Maybe we'll want popsicles.

I'll meet you there. -Look how cool those tank is!

Ashly, Ashly, eye on the prize.

It's been similar so far to friendship, but it's just longer.

Yeah. This is a long, long friendship.

And with retainer.

Don't fall in love with me.

Stop saying that!

Zach! Time to wake up, sheet stealer! [DAY TWO]

That's not true, I took so little!

No, you took all of the sheets.

I was very conservative with how many sheets I took.

For me, the hardest thing to conceptualize is like, your freedom is just gone.

Ashly told me she wants a divorce.

I do.

Zach was stressing me out so much.

Stop filming me.

We need to talk this out.

We're not Kardashians!

Even in the second day of marriage, we started resenting how much time we were spending together, and that's not good.

My friends are getting mad already...

Okay, I'll have you know, that Adam asked me to get dinner, and I said no, I'm gonna order dinner for my wife.

I felt supported!

There have gotta be moments where you have panic about like, "Oh my god, I just signed up for the rest of my life!"

Have we made up from our fight yet?

Yep, cuz I got a funny Snapchat of you.

Cuz my hair looks stupid.

Your hair was silly.

You definitely need time where you're just not even engaging with the other person and it's not rude.

[DAY THREE]

I hate planning dates.

Oh, it's such a nightmare. It just stresses me out.

Hi. [DAY FOUR]

Hey Pumpkin, we're gonna be late for our double dinner date with the Fulmers.

Another thing is hanging out with your couple's friends.

So you're gonna go on a date night.

With you and Ariel? - Gonna go on a double date with me and Ariel.

It's great!

We brought wine.

White wine.

We're late, but Zach found a great parking spot. - Yeah.

Hello! -Hi!

The Kornrezzes are here!

We don't have any pictures of us making out in our house.

We don't have any pictures of us in general.

This is so adult.

Date night with the Fulmers made me realize why people get married.

What's your trick when you're out of wine?

When I'm out of wine, I switch my glass with Ned's.

Does he even notice?

We are pounding meat for our wives, pounding meat.

For our wives!

Thank you Zach, for your wine!

Cheers!

Date night with the Fulmers was the shit.

They made a really delicious dinner which I'm not accustomed to anyone cooking for me.

Like, what a delight. - Yeah.

A friend cooked for me. How delightful is that?

There really is a moment in every adult's life where you're like, just tired of being single.

Would you get bored though, of this if this was your whole life?

I don't know, I don't think so.

That was wonderful, shall we go home now?

Tomorrow has some prasu... [Ashly chose this dumb filter]

Tomorrow has some surprises in store for you, Ashly.

Are you drunk?

Uh, drunk in love. Drunk on marriage.

I realized I've never planned a romantic date for anyone. [DAY FIVE]

I hate planning dates. [5 days earlier]

Today is like a day of niceties and surprises.

Zach had so many surprises for me. It was fucking crazy.

Having a special day that's like, "This is our date night", it encourages you to think outside the box.

It feels weird cuz it's like, not my birthday or anything. It's just my marriage.

Ashly loves theme parks and it's been hot as balls out, so later today, we're going to a water park.

I got one more thing before the water park.

Oh! - A wedding photo of us.

This is so cheesy.

I do love word art.

Right in front of Taylor.

Now we're a family.

I'm gonna keep that forever, that's hilarious.

Oh, here we go!

Oh, my butt is dragging!

Oh no, I'm backwards!

Thank you, Ashly.

You're welcome.

Married couples probably don't go to water parks unless they have kids, but that's the kind of married couple we would be.

That was so fun.

Today was a good test, cuz it was a test of like, can Ashly and I just spend a ton of time together

and not, like, go crazy - Kill each other.

wanting to kill each other?

And we succeeded.

How many people do you think have peed in this water?

We both said, as soon as we got home, we are like, "I had a fun day. I don't wanna be with you any more."

So we're just gonna sit next to each other and trying be alone in the same room.

("Senorita" by Justin Timberlake) [DAY SIX]

Final night of marriage. [DAY SEVEN]

Last night of marriage, we're going to my favorite pho place.

Fo? - Pho.

Monday was our final day. (Cheers!)

It was kinda bittersweet.

And the weird thing was, last night it felt so normal.

I forgot for a second that this, I wasn't like actually married.

I got mostly fruit, so it's healthy.

You didn't get even a little bit of fruit.

It's nice to have someone who's always on your team.

And marriage really is teamwork.

Wow.

I think this is all married people do.

Just watch TV in bed and drink wine. (Cheers!)

Watch TV and drink white wine.

Now that it's over, I'm like, kinda sad.

Don't steal all the covers again!

I don't promise that.

You ready?

Divorce on three.

One, two, three, divorce!

Oh no.

Marriage is fuckin' hard, y'all.

You really can't put yourself first.

And that is like (blows) what?

It's scary, to open yourself to another human being but it can also be really rewarding.

And I see that now.

I wanna get married someday. Do you?

Yeah, totally.

But not to each other.

No.

Definitely not to each other.

Maybe a little, but not, not really.

Don't fall in love with me, Ashly.

That's my line.

We called each other Pumpkin throughout the week.

I heard someone else call Ashly Pumpkin, and I got furious.

I was like, "Back the fuck off. That's my Pumpkin."

Sexual intimacy is a big part of any relationship.

Different video. - Okay.