Knock it off. Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

- Hey, Jay! - Brodie, man. Noochie-noochies.

- Hey, Jay! - Brodie, man. Noochie-noochies.

And look at this shit. The mad, fat chick killer.

And look at this shit. The mad, fat chick killer.

Can't believe how fast word travels in this town. What's he doing?

Can't believe how fast word travels in this town. What's he doing?

Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi and he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick.

Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi and he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick.

Crazy fuck thinks he'll levitate shit with his thoughts. Knock it off!

Crazy fuck thinks he'll levitate shit with his thoughts. Knock it off!

- The force is strong with this one. - Don't encourage him.

- The force is strong with this one. - Don't encourage him.

l was just telling T.S. we gotta find Jay and Silent Bob.

l was just telling T.S. we gotta find Jay and Silent Bob.

lf there's any one that can help us out, it's the two guys who have less to do than us.

lf there's any one that can help us out, it's the two guys who have less to do than us.

What is this shit? Everyone's looking for us today.

What is this shit? Everyone's looking for us today.

We're duckin' Tricia 'cause she wants to talk to Obi-Wan about her video setup.

We're duckin' Tricia 'cause she wants to talk to Obi-Wan about her video setup.

- Why him? - Silent Bob's an electrical genius.

- Why him? - Silent Bob's an electrical genius.

He won the science fair in eighth grade...

He won the science fair in eighth grade...

by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using chicken wire and shit.

by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using chicken wire and shit.

Motherfucker's like MacGyver-- No, motherfucker's better than MacGyver! Knock it off!

Motherfucker's like MacGyver-- No, motherfucker's better than MacGyver! Knock it off!

- lt's that kind of smarts we need, right, Mopey? - Leave me out of this.

- lt's that kind of smarts we need, right, Mopey? - Leave me out of this.

So we need you to embark on a little sabotage mission on behalf of T.S.'s love life.

So we need you to embark on a little sabotage mission on behalf of T.S.'s love life.

[ Mumbling ]

[ Mumbling ]

Stage dive.

Stage dive.

You know about this game show they got goin' on here?

You know about this game show they got goin' on here?

We need you guys to somehow ensure that it doesn't happen.

We need you guys to somehow ensure that it doesn't happen.

- ls that it? We were gonna do that anyway. - Why?

- ls that it? We were gonna do that anyway. - Why?

What else we gonna do? Silent Bob stole the schematic of the stage...

What else we gonna do? Silent Bob stole the schematic of the stage...

from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness, just like the fuckin' Death Star.

from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness, just like the fuckin' Death Star.

He figures you pull this crossbeam out-- bickety-bam! The whole stage comes down.

He figures you pull this crossbeam out-- bickety-bam! The whole stage comes down.

We were thinkin' about somethin' simple, but if you wanna destroy the stage, we're all for that.

We were thinkin' about somethin' simple, but if you wanna destroy the stage, we're all for that.

- Only problem is LaFours. - Who's LaFours?

- Only problem is LaFours. - Who's LaFours?

You don't know LaFours? They don't know who LaFours is.

You don't know LaFours? They don't know who LaFours is.

LaFours is only the most feared security guard in the business.

LaFours is only the most feared security guard in the business.

Four hundred and sixty collars, all convicted. l hear he's even got two kills.

Four hundred and sixty collars, all convicted. l hear he's even got two kills.

Holy shit. l never thought l'd see the day when two such reputable mischief makers...

Holy shit. l never thought l'd see the day when two such reputable mischief makers...

douse their drawers at the sight of a mall security guard.

douse their drawers at the sight of a mall security guard.

Shit, bitch, we're gonna bust that stage like a high school kegger.

Shit, bitch, we're gonna bust that stage like a high school kegger.

We're just gonna outwit LaFours, X-Men style.

We're just gonna outwit LaFours, X-Men style.

- Should l call you ''Logan,'' Weapon X? - No, ''Wolverine''!

- Should l call you ''Logan,'' Weapon X? - No, ''Wolverine''!

Snicktey-snicktey-snoime!

Snicktey-snicktey-snoime!

He's imitating Wolverine's berserker attack with his adamantium claws.

He's imitating Wolverine's berserker attack with his adamantium claws.

- l never would've guessed. - You have your mission. Go forth, wreak havoc.

- l never would've guessed. - You have your mission. Go forth, wreak havoc.

Bye, baby kitties. Damn, Silent Bob, show some heart.

Bye, baby kitties. Damn, Silent Bob, show some heart.

- [ Whistling ] - That's better. We're on the job.

- [ Whistling ] - That's better. We're on the job.

Thanks.

Thanks.

l have to admit l'm shocked you didn't try to dissuade them.

l have to admit l'm shocked you didn't try to dissuade them.

[ Chuckles ] l would if l thought they could pull it off.

[ Chuckles ] l would if l thought they could pull it off.

Oh, ye of little faith. Want a cookie?

Oh, ye of little faith. Want a cookie?