[If people were honest in college application essays]

It is completely obvious that I am totally burnt out.

My mom is standing over my shoulder right now, so this has no trace of my real personality.

I'm using words I literally learned a minute ago on Thesaurus.com

I got this opinion off CNN.com.

I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm a privileged white person.

I consider Abraham Lincoln to be my hero because you've heard of him, and this is not a controversial opinion.

I will write anything you want to hear, just so I can get out of this terrible town.

Here's where I pretend like your school is my first and only choice.

You're my safety school but I'm not going to say that.

I'm only applying to college because my parents will kill me if I don't.

I am making myself sound like a serious student, but I'm probably just gonna drink malt liquor for four years.

I'm mentioning how excited I am about your small class size and personalized attention because you mentioned it five times on your website.

Now I will tell you about the one time I visited another country to put a cultured spin on myself.

I did a lot of community service, and by community service, I mean I donated blood once.

For cookies!

I live in a rich Jewish neighborhood.

Does that count as diversity?

I'm only name-dropping my grandfather 'cause he's an alumni.

If this wasn't a college essay, this would be considered way oversharing.

I know what it means to suffer.

I went through a horrible breakup sophomore year.

He's now dating my best friend, so I understand the world.