Ah ah ah!

What did I tell you about running in the house?

Sorry mom,

I promise I won't do it again,

I am in a hurry.

You didn't answer my question

What did I say about running in the house?

Don't run in the house.

Excellent.

You know you kids are always in a hurry,

Do you think I was in a hurry when I brought you into this world?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

I waited the entire 9 months to birth you,

even though there were times I wanted to abort you.

Wow.

Okay, well, I am sorry for running,

I gotta go change, I got a date with Stacy in like an hour.

Oh, so she finally got over the whole "shaving incident"?

I can only hope.

Look honey, I just want you to remember all that I do for you,

so you can return the favor when I am old and you have to take care of me.

Listen mom, I am sorry.

But can I go now?

Come here~

Gosh! You're just so handsome~

I am making your favorite by the way.

Great.

Egg bread.

Not my favorite.

"Not his favorite," he is always changing his favorite~

Brandon~ You have to try... Oh my god!

Holy hell! Mom what did you got

No, it...

Why would you never knock?! Leave!

I'm leaving,

I'm just... Do you want to... No...

Bye!

Holy GOD!

Oh. Hey.

I... Eh... Left my dirty cloths in the laundry so...

You know, whenever you get to that...

Okay, yeah, thank you, good.

I'm gonna go.

Wait,

Brandon?

Before you go,

I think we should talk about what just happened.

No, no, I think we should just leave that,

so far in the past.

Brandon,

It is... It's perfectly normal,

okay? And it doesn't have to be a big deal...

Then let's not make it a big deal...

Ah ah ah I know I am so sorry,

I... I... I should...

I should have knocked first, you know?

And you should have your privacy.

I totally overstepped the line by just barging in like that.

I'm... I am sorry.

Okay.

And... and don't worry,

I won't tell anybody about what happened,

I am going to get my lips sealed.

Okay, thank you.

And you know what,

before I forget,

here.

Have fun with Stacy tonight.

Thanks mom!

I appreciate that.

You... you know what? Just one more thing.

Yeah, absolutely!

Um, I do have some tips for next time.

Tips?

What do you mean by tips?

Well, first off Brandon

though I do understand jerking off before hanging out with the girls

so you don't ejaculate so fast but

you know there's no need to take your shirt off

when you masturbate~

Okay...

Oh, and you know what?

You are stroking it, like

way too hard~ Hum?

You gotta go softer~

What are you doing...

I am just trying to help you, honey? I mean, you know

when you treat it like you're gonna rip it off~

It's not... It's not like some kind of garden weed~

What?!

Ohh!

Have you ever tried the strangler?

Your father loves the strangler...

Please!

Is it this stranger?

You know? Okay, is like, is like this,

When you... you sit on your hand for really long time

Mom, I know what the stanger is...

Well I'm just... I'm just trying to tell you that

there's so many better ones you could be doing, like~

Oh, like the palm rubber~

Please stop!

Oh the hand screw, that's...

That's kinda feel good~

What is my life?

Or there's always the old ___________ twister!

What is that?!

Oh your father also likes the plastic bag...

And it makes much less of the mess for me to clean up, God have mercy...

Oh Honey! Just make sure you sit up straight next time!

You don't want to turn out like your father...

Yeah.

You don't want to be like me~