Narrator: BECAUSE OF THE WAY THAT BRAIN WORKS,

YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR VERY FIRST ROLLER COASTER RIDE.

STORING THESE NEW EXPERIENCES IS ONE OF THE BRAIN'S MAIN JOBS.

IN FACT, YOUR BRAIN CREATES A MENTAL BLUEPRINT

OF EVERY NEW EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE.

A BLUEPRINT FOR ANY NEW TOUCH IS STORED IN ONE PART OF THE BRAIN,

A BLUEPRINT FOR ANY NEW SOUND IN A DIFFERENT PART,

AND A BLUEPRINT FOR ANY NEW SIGHT IN STILL ANOTHER PART.

BUT AS POWERFUL AS THAT FIRST ROLLER COASTER RIDE WAS,

IT CAN'T COMPETE WITH THE LINGERING EFFECTS

OF YOUR BRAIN'S EARLIEST EXPERIENCES.

ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE NO CONSCIOUS MEMORY

OF THIS PART OF YOUR CHILDHOOD,

IT IS THESE VERY FIRST EXPERIENCES

THAT LITERALLY BECOME THE BUILDING BLOCKS

FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

UNLIKE OTHER ORGANS, THE BRAIN IS UNDEVELOPED AT BIRTH

AND IT IS WAITING FOR EXPERIENCES

TO SHAPE HOW IT WILL DEVELOP.

THE AMAZING THING ABOUT THE HUMAN BRAIN

IS THAT THE YOUNGER YOU ARE

THE MORE SPONGE-LIKE YOUR BRAIN IS,

WHICH IS THE REASON THAT CHILDREN IN THREE YEARS

CAN LEARN LANGUAGE, CAN LEARN TO WALK

CAN DO ALL KINDS OF INCREDIBLE THINGS.

BUT THE VERY SAME BIOLOGICAL SPONGINESS

THAT ALLOWS US TO RAPIDLY ACQUIRE LANGUAGE

IS ALSO THE SAME SPONGINESS THAT MAKES YOUNG CHILDREN

MORE VULNERABLE TO TRAUMA THAN OLDER CHILDREN.

WE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO POLICE RIDE-ALONGS

TO A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITUATION

AND SO THIS WAS ACTUALLY THE FIRST CALL

I EVER RODE ALONG.

IT WAS DINNER TIME

AND THEY WERE HAVING SPAGHETTI FOR DINNER.

IT WAS DRIPPING DOWN THE WALLS.

THE KITCHEN TABLE WAS OVERTURNED.

AND WE HAD THREE CHILDREN IN THE HOUSEHOLD.

LOOKING AT THIS WHOLE SITUATION AT THE TIME,

E

"THE KIDS ARE FINE."

WE LEARNED DIFFERENTLY, OF COURSE.

THE BOY IN THE CORNER WAS CLASSIC BEHAVIOR

THAT WE SEE WITH KIDS

WHO HAVE HAD CHRONIC EXPOSURE TO VIOLENCE.

HE WOULD JUST COMPLETELY ZONE OUT,

NUMB OUT AS THINGS STARTED TO GET SCARY.

THE 6-YEAR-OLD LITTLE GIRL ON THE CHAIR

OING ON.

THAT WE REALLY APPRECIATED

WHO HAD SOME OF THE MOST PROFOUND OR SEVERE HARM

COMING OUT OF THIS SITUATION

AND THAT WAS

WHO WAS NOW 4 AND A HALF,

AND HAD SERIOUSLY INJURED OL.

IT'S LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE

OF THE WAY MOST PEOPLE THINK ABOUT THIS.

THEY DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON

AND THEY'RE RESILIENT. BUT THE FACT IS

IF ANYBODY'S IMPACTED MORE SEVERELY,

IT'S THE YOUNGER CHILD.

Chamberlain: THE BRAIN IS

PUT TOGETHER LIKE BUILDING BLOCKS,

IN A SENSE. THOSE FIRST BLOCKS THAT GO TOGETHER

ARE THE MORE PRIMITIVE AREA, THE SURVIVAL BRAIN.

Perry: THE BRAIN DEVELOPS FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP

AND FROM THE INSIDE OUT

SO THAT THE NORMAL DEVELOPMENT OF T

N

DEPENDS UPON HEALTHY DEVELOPMENT OF LOWER PARTS OF THE BRAIN.

THE TOP PART OF THE BRAIN WHERE YOU DO ALL OF YOUR THINKING

IS THE PART OF THE BRAIN THAT IS MOST CHANGEABLE,

EASIEST TO MODIFY,

BUT UNFORTUNATELY IF THE CHILD HAS DE

ENCES

OF THREAT AND EXPOSURE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

THE LOWER PARTS OF THE BRAIN WILL BE IMPACTED

AND THEY'RE HARDER TO CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER.

HE WAS NEVER PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE

BUT HE WAS VERBALLY ABUSIVE.

Man yelling: ...STUPID!

Allison: THERE WAS A LOT OF-- LOTS AND LOTS OF SCREAMING

IN FRONT OF THE KIDS,

BERATING, YOU KNOW, PUTTING ME DOWN,

AND THEY PRETTY MUCH HEARD IT ALL.

CHILDREN EXPOSED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,

CHILDREN WHO WITNESS THEIR PARENTS FIGHTING

ENCING

AND WHEN THIS HAPPENS

THE SYSTEMS IN YOUR BRAIN THAT ARE INVOLVED IN THINKING,

AT THE TOP PART OF YOUR BRAIN, ARE LITERALLY SHUT DOWN.

IT CHANGES THE BRAINS OF THESE CHILDREN.

MY SON HAS SEEN AND HED

A LOT OF THE VIOLENT OUTBURSTS.

HE WAS EXPERIENCING NIGHT TERRORS

AND THAT WAS PROBABLY HIS WAY OF DEALING WITH IT

BECAUSE IN HIS WAKING STATE

HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO ARTICULATE,

AT 2 AND A HALF YEARS OLD,

SO IT WAS COMING THROUGH, YOU KNOW,

WHEN HE WAS ASLEEP.

WHEN KIDS ARE CHRONICALLY STRESSED,

ONE OF THE PROBLEMS THAT WE SEE

IS, UH, DIFFICULTY IN ATTACHMENT AND BONDING

BECAUSE THEY'RE SO FOCUSED ON SURVIVAL,

IT'S HARD FOR THEM TO REACH OUT

AND

H OTHERS.

MY OLDE WENT

AND SEEMINGLY LAUGH IN GLEE.

HE WAS NOT REMORSEFUL OR HAD NO EMPATHY

THAT HE COULD ACTUALLY MAKE SOMEONE CRY.

CALLS

OF HIM BEING DISRUPTIVE IN THE CLASSROOM.

HE WAS A VERY BRIGHT KID BUT THAT'S WHEN I KNEW

THAT HE WAS HEADING TOWARD TROUBLE.

A LOT OF THESE KIDS GET LABELED AS BEING, YOU KNOW,

BAD, DIFFICULT, DEFIANT.

THIS IS A VERY NATURAL RESPONSE

TO THEIR CIRCUMSTANCE.

WHAT THE CHILD IS DOING

IS A SURVIVAL STRATEGY FOR THEM,

BUT IT CREATES BEHAVIORS

THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT IN THE CLASSROOM.

WHEN THEY'RE IN A CRISIS MODE, THEY CAN'T LEARN.

THE TRAGIC REALITY OF CHILDREN GROWING UP IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

IS THAT THEY END UP WITH MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS

AT A RATE HIGHER THAN CHILDREN

WHO ARE ACTUALLY THE DIRECT VICTIMS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE.

MY MOTHER WAS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

MY FATHER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC, A DRUG USER,

AND, UH, JUST A COCKTAIL FOR--FOR A BAD--

FOR A BAD LIVING ENVIRONMENT FOR CHILDREN.

MY BROTHER, HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS CRYING ON HIS WAY HOME,

ME NOT KNOWING, I WAS JUST A CARELESS LITTLE 6-YEAR-OLD,

SEEING HIM CLIMB UP TO MY MOM'S MEDICINE CABINET.

I ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING

AND HE BOLDLY SAID, "I'M KILLING MYSELF."

8-YEAR-OLDS DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.

THE FIRST PERSON I THOUGHT TO CALL WAS MY BEST FRIEND'S MOM.

BY THE TIME SHE CAME DOWN TO OUR APARTMENT,

HE HAD A BUTCHER KNIFE IN HIS HAND

AND WAS JUST CUTTING HIMSELF ALL OVER HIS BODY

AND I WAS JUST BAWLING, WAS CRYING,

THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO TO HELP.

MY BROTHER WAS--WAS CRYING.

HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE THERE, HE WAS TRYING TO RUN OUT.

BUT I HAD ALREADY KNOWN, THAT THE HOME, MY HOME,

YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T A PLACE WHERE I FELT SAFE.

CHILDHOOD EXPOSURE TO VIOLENCE IS ABOUT LIVING

IN A THREATENING, SCARY ENVIRONMENT

THAT MAY ESCALATE TO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE,

BUT IT OFTEN DOESN'T HAVE TO.

IT'S THE CHAOS, THE UNCERTAINTY.

THE FEAR OF BEING IN A HOME

WHERE THINGS AREN'T OK.

IT'S VERY INTERESTING TALKING ABOU

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE HEAR FROM ADULT SURVIVORS

IN VIOLENT HOUSEHOLDS AND ALSO THE CHILDREN.

THE H

HINK,

IS THINKING ABOUT WHAT IS NORMAL,

INSTEAD OF THIS UP AND DOWN LIFE

OF BE THREA

T, HIP.

GROWING UP IN MY HOME THERE WERE SIX CHILDREN.

MY MOTHER AND FATHER, UNFORTUNATELY,

FOUGHT LIKE CATS AND DOGS.

AS A RESULT OF THAT,

TWO OF MY BROTHERS ENDED UP BEING BATTERERS.

I HAVE TWO SISTERS.

EVEN TODAY THEY DATE MEN THAT BATTER THEM.

EXPOSURE TO VIOLENCE IS A LIFETIME LEGACY.

WE SEE THAT NEGATIVE CH

OFTEN HAVE COPING BEHAVIORS THAT CAN BE UNHEALTHY.

TH ON H

TS ENT.

IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS TO UNDERSTAND

THAT THEIR INTERNAL STATE,

WHETHER IT'S CALM, OR WHETHER

OR WHETHER IT'S FRUSTRATION AND ANGER,

OR WHETHER IT'S SADNESS, DEPRESSION,

THE BABY ABSORBS THESE INTERNAL STATES.

I HAVE BEEN IN THE MOMENT,

SNESS

AND HOPELESSNESS AND STRESS AND ANXIETY AND RAGE.

IT REALLY DAMAGES THE BRAINS OF SMALL CHILDREN

TO BE UNDER A CONSTANT LEVEL OF STRESS AND ANXIETY.

EVERY DAY I HOPE THAT I HAVEN'T DAMAGED MY KID IN ANY WAY.

THEY NEED TO SEE FROM YOU, AS A PARENT,

HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS

IN AN APPROPRIATE MANNER. BEING RATIONAL,

NOT RESORTING TO VIOLENCE

TO DEAL WITH SITUATIONS.

YOUR CHILDREN ARE GOING TO LEARN

HOW FROM

SS

LUCKILY, MY OLDER SON IS VERBAL ENOUGH

AND IS OLD ENOUGH NOW THAT WE HAVE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT...

"HOW DID IT MAKE YOU FEEL WHEN THAT WAS GOING ON?

"WAS THAT SCARY FOR YOU?"

"YEAH." AND VALIDATING THAT.

Chamberlain: THE BIGGEST THING THAT HELPS

CHILDREN EXPOSED TO VIOLENCE

IS TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS,

GET THOSE CRITICAL MESSAGES--

"IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT."

ANY CONFLICT, I'M ABLE NOW TO STOP BEFORE I ADD TO IT.

I'M ABLE TO STEP AWAY,

RATHER THAN TRYING TO SOLVE IT,

AT THAT MOMENT,

IN A STATE OF HEIGHTENED AN.

JUST TRY NOT TO GO THROUGH IT ALONE.

IF YOU HAVE A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM

AND KNOW WHAT AVENUES YOU HAVE AVAILABLE TO YOU, YOU KNOW,

IN CASE YOU DO NEED TO GET OUT.

I WAS GLAD THAT WE GOT HELP WHEN WE DID.

Chamberlain: ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT BRAIN SCIENCE

THAT WE'VE LEARNED IS TILL THE DAY YOU DIE

YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO ADD NEW NEURONS IN YOUR BRAIN,

THAT THE BRAIN IS MORE LIKE SKIN

IN THE SENSE THAT IT CAN REWIRE AND HEAL ITSELF

IN THE MOST IMPORTANT AREA, THE CORTEX.

WE HAVE THE CAPACITY TO HEAL AND DO BETTER.

THE BIGGEST THING WE CAN DO FOR KIDS EXPOSED TO VIOLENCE

IS HOW MANY HEALTHY ADULTS CAN THEY CONNECT TO.

IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HOMES

SO I SAW WHAT POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS WERE ABOUT.

I SAW MY FRIENDS WERE NORMAL.

YOU KNOW, THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE RAGE I HAD.

SEEING PARENTS THAT WERE TOGETHER,

THAT SHOWED AFFECTION.

HOME DINNERS WHERE EVERYBODY SAT TOGETHER,

THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT I REALIZED WERE IMPORTANT,

AND INSTEAD OF BEING ENVIOUS I INCORPORATED IT INTO MY LIFE.

I WANTED TO BE A PART OF THAT.

Bernice: I KNOW SCHOOL IS WHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR ME.

,

LETTING ME KNOW THAT I COULD BE SOMEBODY

AND I COULD DO SOMETHING.

Allison: IN FACT, MY OLDEST SON,A

HIS TEACHERS, ALL SIX OF THEM WERE VERY INSTRUMENTAL

IN COMING FORWARD AND PROVIDING HIM SUPPORT WHEN HE NEEDED IT.

THEY ALLOWED HIM TO BE HOME-SCHOOLED

TO GIVE HIM TIME TO HEAL.

Tony: THE HARDEST PART ABOUT BEING A PARENT NOW

IS TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT THAN HOW MY PARENTS RAISED ME.

AM I BEING A GOOD FATHER? WHAT DO I NEED TO DO

THAT'S THE PART, THE BRAIN DEVELOPMENT PART,

THAT I THINK...

WE WANT HIM TO KNOW WHAT NORMAL IS FOR US

AND NORMAL IS HAVING PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU AND WHO LOVE YOU

AND WHO WANT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU,

AND THAT WE WANT THAT TO BE HIS NORMAL LIFE.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE "PAY ME NOW OR PAY ME LATER,"

CHILDREN WHO

GOOD AT SELF-SOOTHING, DON'T CRY VERY MUCH

AND END UP BEING, IF YOU WILL, SUCCESSFUL

ARE CHILDREN WHO HAVE HAD