I really appreciate you helping me with this.

希望妳們願意幫幫我

I don't know what to do.

我不知道該怎麼辦？

Oh, sure. Let me see it. See what?

當然，讓我看看。那是甚麼？

I hadn't spoken to Emily since I broke up with her,

我和Emily分手後，我就再也沒和她說過話了

and she left this on my doorstep with a note.

她在我門前留了這個東西，附了張紙條

“Raj, I got you this before we split up, but I couldn't return it

「Raj，我們分手前，我買了這個要送你，後來無法退貨

and thought you'd like to have it.''

所以想說送你好了。」

''Happy belated Valentine's Day, Emily"

「祝你情人節快樂！Emily」

That's nice.

真好

Nice, or is she trying to manipulate him?

真的嗎？還是她只是在操弄他？

I know. I mean, do I open it? Do I return it?

就是說，所以我要打開嗎？還是還給她？

Why wouldn't you open it?

為什麼不打開？

Well, she was pretty mad.

嗯，因為她當時很生氣

For all I know it's a voodoo doll of me

我只覺得裡面是隻巫毒娃娃

with a fork stuck in my junk.

在「三角窗」插著一隻叉子

You don't think she'd actually send you something gross

你沒想過說，她送你的可能是

or dangerous, do you?

很噁心或很危險的東西嗎？

I know one way to find out-- sniff this.

我知道怎麼做了，聞一聞就知道了

She's pregnant, she's not a bloodhound.

她只是懷孕而已，又不是隻偵探犬

Although I am getting a little machine oil.

我聞到一點點機油的味道

I think it's metal.

我覺得應該是金屬物品

Come on, just open it.

好啦，打開吧！

You know, on Game of Thrones,

你知道嗎？權力遊戲裡面(電視劇)

Balon Greyjoy received his son's genitals in a box.

Balon Greyjoy收到他兒子的生殖器

Well, never hurts to have a spare.

嗯，有備無患囉！

What is that?

那是甚麼？

Wow. It's an antique sextant.

哇！是六分儀的古董耶！

Sailors used these to find their position by the stars.

以前的水手用這個還有星星，來辨別方位

What a nice gift for an astrophysicist.

送給你這個天文物理學家剛剛好！

I know, she's so thoughtful.

真的，她很細心

See, she's trying to get you back.

看吧，她想挽回你的心

Now, that is exactly what I would've gotten you

這正是我想跟你說的

if I had any idea what it is or what you do.

如果我知道那是甚麼或你會怎麼做

You know, I have too much self-esteem to let this girl

妳們要知道，我的自尊心很強

guilt me into getting back together with her.

我沒辦法就這樣和她復合

You don't need to be pregnant to smell that load of crap.

妳不用因為懷孕就去聞那個玩意兒

I wonder how much she spent on this.

我想知道她花了多少錢

Ooh, let's find out.

喔，讓我來查查

It doesn't matter.

這不重要

It's the thought that counts.

禮輕情意重

Yeah, yeah, and beauty's on the inside,

是是，內在最重要

size doesn't matter - how much she spend?

外在不重要，倒底多少錢？

Seriously, guys, I don't want to know.

說真的，各位，我真的不想知道

Oh, my.

我的天

Oh, come on, you can't say “Oh, my,” and then not tell me!

拜託，不要只說「我的天」，然後甚麼都不說好嗎？

These things go for $500 and up.

這玩意一個至少要500美元

Damn.

快吐血了

All I got for Valentine's Day was a postcard

我情人節頂多寄張明信片而已

saying my Vermont Teddy Bear was back-ordered.

上面再寫說：「我的佛特蒙泰迪熊剛好沒貨了，要調貨。」

Okay, so, she drops off a $500 gift

所以，她砸了500美在這個禮物上

and she's not trying to get back together with you?

然後，她真的不打算要和你複合？

Maybe you're right.

或許妳說對了

Or she's telling the truth and just being nice.

或許，那只是個小小心意而已

Maybe you're right.

或許妳也是對的

Wow, I am easy to manipulate.

哇，我還真容易被玩弄

Oh, guys, it's Emily.

唉，各位，是Emily

What should I do?

我該怎麼做？

Okay, answer it. Just be strong.

好，接她電話，要很堅定

And if she starts to cry, don't make any promises.

如過她要哭了，不要承諾她任何事

And most importantly, put it on speaker so we can hear.

更重要的是，把擴音器打開，我們才聽得見

Hello?

喂？

Hey, it's Emily.

我是Emily

Is this a good time?

現在你方便聽電話嗎？

Yeah, yeah. Sure. What's up?

當然，妳好嗎？

Was it okay I left that gift?

你喜歡我給你的禮物嗎？

I'm really hoping we can be friends.

我真心希望我們可以成為朋友

Maybe, maybe.

應該可以吧

Um, you think you'd want to grab a cup of coffee?

你想要和我喝個咖啡嗎？

Hello?

嗨？

I'm sorry, I seem to be taking an annoying amount of time

抱歉，我剛剛似乎花太多時間在想

deciding how I feel about this!

要不要這！件！事！了！

I just... I miss hanging out with you.

我只是，很懷念過去和你一起出去的日子

It's not like I lost a friend, it's like I lost my best friend.

感覺不像失去好朋友，而是失去了一個摯友

Is there any chance

你有想要

you'd want to come over?

來我家嗎？

I'm sorry, I don't think that's a good idea.

抱歉，我想這樣不太好

Okay. I'm just...

不要緊，我只是

I'm having a really hard time,

我很難熬

but that's not your problem, that's mine.

不過，這不是你的問題，是我不好

I-I won't bother you again,

我，我不會再打擾你了

but please know that you'll always have a place in my heart.

但是，你要知道，你會一直在我的心目中

Bye, Raj.

再見，Raj

You're a good guy.

你是個好男人

Goodbye, Emily.

再見了，Emily

That was rough, you guys.

真的很難撐過去，各位

I know, but you did it. I'm so proud of you.

我能了解，但是你做到了，我真替你感到驕傲

Well, anyway, I'll leave you to your girls' night.

好了，今晚不打擾妳們姊妹淘了

Are you sure you don't want to stay here with us?

你確定不要留下來媽？

No, I kind of feel like being alone right now.

不了，我想先一個人靜一靜

Well, if you change your mind, we'll be here.

好的，如果你想過來的話，我們會一直在這

Thank you.

謝謝妳們

Say hi to Emily for us.

幫我和Emily打聲招呼

Will do.

我會的