- It's a pleasure having two of my father's closest friends

pay a visit to my fine establishment.

Clovis, Virginia, thank you for coming.

- You're aware of our non-profit organization?

- The Brazilian Porcupine Foundation.

- So you're aware of our animal rights work?

- Well, I try to stay up-to-date

on all the porcupine-related news.

- We'd like to offer you a position on the board.

- It's an in to Sacramento high society.

- [chuckles]

- Wow.

- Oh, we'll take that as a yes.

Welcome to the upper echelon.

The air is so much better up here.

- Ah.

- [inhales, exhales]

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- [man singing] This is America

Land of dreams

Everyone can climb higher

- [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

- [man singing] You can do anything

- [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

- [man singing] And you can go anywhere

- [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

- [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

- [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

- [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

With full-time dreams

And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

Bad as it seems

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Whoa

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Oh

Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

- So they asked you to a party?

Fun.

- Not a party, Ella. A gala.

And I have to raise at least $10,000

to help save the Brazilian porcupine.

And I only know, like, three of my dad's friends' numbers.

- Well, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's throwing parties.

I tell you what.

You let me take care of the invitees,

and in exchange, I won't have to pay rent anymore.

- You already don't pay rent.

- No, I mean you pay for the next place that I rent.

- No. - Deal.

- Are you sure you've got this covered?

- Yes, I'm positive.

- I just want tonight to be amazing.

- It will. Our guest list is full.

- Yeah, but what if none of them show up?

- Then your miniature ponies won't get their yachts,

or whatever, all right? Relax.

It's fine. Okay?

- Pete, have you seen my purse?

I've looked for it everywhere.

- The black leather one with the big rose and the pewter handle?

- Yeah...

Do you have it?

- Uh, no. Haven't seen it.

- [sighs]

- Hello.

Thank you very much. Enjoy.

- Hello. - Thank you, sir.

Wowie. Oh, okay.

Thank you. Wow.

Uh, you know, technically, there is a dress code.

Um...but for a $500 donation,

you can wear anything you want.

- Cool.

We're all gonna be naked soon, anyway, right?

- Yeah. [chuckles]

Uh, wait. Uh, what?

- Well, a Brazilian porcupine is a pretty complicated sex move.

I don't think clothes are gonna help.

Unless you guys do it differently.

You guys do it differently?

- You're here for the Brazilian porcupine, right?

- Yeah, I'm here to do a Brazilian porcupine.

Got my wax and my tarp in here.

The old trusty tarp.

See ya.

[classical music playing]

- Excuse me? Who all here

got their invitation from the Craigslist post?

[all giggling and murmuring]

- That's where I get all my stuff.

[classical music continues]

- Here you go.

[classical music playing]

- Mm.

- Are you okay?

- [gulps] No.

I accidentally started an internet sex party.

On any other night, I'd be super impressed with myself.

But Anton's gonna kill me.

- Ella, one of those creepers probably stole my purse.

- I know, okay? I'm sorry.

- Mads, I swear to you,

I will get your favorite purse back.

- How did you know it was my favorite?

- Oh, because you bring it to work every day.

Except for Thursdays,

'cause that's when you go to the gym.

[chattering]

- This is the nicest Brazilian porcupine I've ever seen.

- You can't be serious.

- Well, I'm fairly new to the scene.

Why, do they get fancier?

- My dear, this is the bottom of the barrel.

- Nuh-uh. Barrelers meet on Wednesdays.

[microphone feedback]

- Hello?

They asked me to introduce Anton,

a true porcupine advocate.

Or, as he likes to call it,

prick of the year.

[laughter]

So, for a man who needs no introduction

but got one anyway...

Anton.

[one person claps, stops]

- First I'd like to thank--

- When's the [bleep] party?

- Yeah!

[crowd chattering]

- The [bleep] party.

- Oh! Oh, my.

- She gets it.

[crowd chattering]

- It's a what?

- Some kind of forbidden sex move, okay?

There was a mix-up on the invitation.

- Ella, this was your one responsibility.

- I know. I was gonna kick them out,

but they all paid.

You made more than $10,000 tonight.

- [laughs softly]

Okay, just keep them away from my guests, please?

- Okay. Okay, yeah.

I can do that. I can do that.

[crowd chattering]

[clears throat]

[crowd silences]

For anyone who's been asking for the grease,

I'll be serving it up

in the kitchen.

[all cheering]

- It's on!

[all continue cheering]

- Anton, you really must serve better hors d'oeuvres.

[techno music playing] - No, you shouldn't go in there.

- But they stole my purse.

[techno music playing]

I really shouldn't have gone in there.

- Mads, I made a commitment,

and I swear to you that if your purse is in that kitchen,

I'll get it back. And then,

I'll kick the ass of whoever took it.

- [groans]

[music and cheering]

- Aah!

Oh, no!

[crying] No!

- Pete! - No!

- Come back to me, Pete! - No!

- Okay.

- Thanks.

- This is really good, isn't it?

- Well, maybe we should try the grease in the kitchen.

Why not? I'm up for anything new.

- Look, ladies, no. Uh...

You'll--you'll miss the dance party.

Hey, buddy, uh, can we get some dance music up here?

- Way ahead of ya, boss.

[funky dance music playing] - Mmm.

Ooh. Electric Slide, everybody.

Come on and Electric Slide.

Mm-hmm.

Hey.

Uh-huh.

You got it.

Come on, do this.

Uh-huh, you got it.

[music continues]

Push your leg, hey.

[techno music playing in next room]

- [humming]

Hey, what are you guys doing?

- Protecting people from the Brazilian porcupine sex party.

[techno music continues]

- Nice!

- [groans]

[cheering, louder music]

- It does kind of look like a porcupine.

[funky dance music playing]

- Uh-huh. [humming]

- Aren't you guys having so much fun?

- Hey, sorry I couldn't find your purse.

- It's okay. If my purse is in there,

I'm not gonna want it back, anyways.

- I see you, ladies, I see ya.

Come on.

Put your butts to the back. Hey.

- Oh, yeah. - Now to the left, hey.

[classical music playing]

- So, I guess this means we'll be seeing young Anton

at the Train Restoration Gala next week.

- [chuckles] - Choo-choo.

[all chuckling]

- Dude...

Great Brazilian porcupine.

- Oh, uh, anything for the animals.

[chuckles] - For the animals.

Totally. - [laughs]

- Oh, and if, uh,

if we can have another sex party in your kitchen,

we'll pay double. Got a great drain.

[slurps] Black hole.

- [laughs nervously]

It's, uh...jokes.

[laughs nervously]

- Thanks for giving me a ride home, Pete.

- No probs, I can give you a rides whenevers.

[chuckles] It's cool.

- No way.

- What?

- No way.

[both chuckle]

I left it in my car.

You don't need to give me a ride home anymore, obviously.

- [chuckles]

Good...I guess. Um...

- Hey.

If I had to be traumatized by a Craigslist meet-up,

I'd want it to be with you.

- [laughs softly]

Guess I'll catch ya at the next sex party, huh?

[both laugh]

[poignant music]

- So, I'm gonna go. [chuckles]

- Okay.

[techno music playing in other room]

- You think...

- Great party, sir.

You're a hell of a host.

I'm tripling my donation.

[both laughing]

- Yes!

Oh, yeah!

- I never actually saw what was going on in there.

- Don't, no, man, don't. Don't go in there.

[techno music playing]

No. You okay?

Are you okay?

[upbeat music]