Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: Most of the time, we're playing games to escape the real world. But some games are so much fun, we play them even though the game world is so much scarier than the one we are hoping to leave behind. A game where the players are the only thing that stands between life and a horrible, shivering, puking, bleeding, and miserable death. Today on TableTop, my friends, Robert Gifford, Ed Brubaker, and Morgan Webb are here for a game that we don't so much play, as desperately hope to survive. Wash your hands and put on a face mask because we are the world's last, best hope to stop a pandemic. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: Pandemic is a cooperative game where we all work together as members of a disease-fighting team that is headquartered in Atlanta, Georgia. And we're not the team you're thinking of, unless you're thinking of a team I just made up that lives together in a van in a parking lot across the street from the CDC. Our goal is to travel around the world, treating localized outbreaks and epidemics to prevent them from joining together into a global pandemic. Huh? See? It's not just a clever name. It actually describes the game. Each turn, we will perform four actions. Basic actions, like moving around the board and treating disease. Or special actions, like discovering a cure, or using a player's special, unique ability. Then we will draw cards from this deck that should help us, and find out where the disease is spreading next. Now, there are many new ways to lose in Pandemic, but only one way to win, and that is by eradicating all four diseases. Remember that deck I said should help us? That deck contains the most dangerous, awful cards in the entire game-- epidemic cards. These tell us where epidemics have happened, which can lead to outbreaks that will spread around the globe, leading to our inevitable defeat. Pandemic is incredibly intense. It's exciting. It's unbelievably difficult. But I've had more fun losing this game that I have had winning a lot of others. Now we will find out if we win together, or if the entire world dies. Because it is time to play Pandemic. MORGAN WEBB: My name is Morgan Webb, and I host a TV show on G4 TV, and it's called "X-Play." ROBERT GIFFORD: My name is Robert Gifford, and I own the company, Geek Chic. And we make geek furniture and accessories for geek living. ED BRUBAKER: My name is Ed Brubaker, and I am a comic book writer and screenwriter. I write for Marvel Comics. I write "Captain America" for the last seven or eight years. And I wrote the famous death of Captain America story line a few years back. WIL WHEATON: In the official rules of Pandemic, the person who goes first is the person who was most recently sick, which for our purposes, I think, is a little pedestrian. Sorry, Matt. Love you, but I have a better idea. Who has had the most outrageous, crazy disease? Like who's had like the worst sickness? I'm pretty sure I'm going to go first. So I'll just go ahead. I will tell you what mine is, and then we'll just sort of go around the table. OK? In 2009, at PAX Prime in Seattle, I got the swine flu. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah. I was there. WIL WHEATON: I had the swine flu, and influenza B the same time. For two weeks, I had a temperature in excess of 100 degrees. And I have something to say to Foreigner, by the way. You're [BLEEP] liars. When you have a fever of 103, the last thing you want to do is get on with somebody. What you want to do is die. Foreigner is full of [BLEEP]. They are liars. ROBERT GIFFORD: Ergo, proven. WIL WHEATON: Yes, proven. Science. MORGAN WEBB: I was going to go with the fact that I had a temperature so high that I had to go to the hospital. And they kept me overnight. WIL WHEATON: Oh, that's pretty good. What was your temperature? MORGAN WEBB: But it was only one day. WIL WHEATON: Well, what was the temperature? MORGAN WEBB: It was like 103, but it kept going up. And then I had to get an IV. And then they're like, you're not going anywhere. WIL WHEATON: And the last thing you wanted to do-- MORGAN WEBB: Because I was a little-- WIL WHEATON: And the last thing you wanted to do was do it in the hospital. Right? MORGAN WEBB: No. I wanted to lay there with the blanket over my head-- WIL WHEATON: Right, and die. MORGAN WEBB: 17 blankets, and warm blankets, because I thought I was going to freeze to death. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: Which is sort of strange and ironic. WIL WHEATON: OK. Fever in the hospital. That's pretty gnarly. MORGAN WEBB: It was very recent, though. WIL WHEATON: Sick for a long time. MORGAN WEBB: That was two weeks ago. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God. WIL WHEATON: Holy crap. ED BRUBAKER: That was recent. Did you ever find out whose Coke that was? ROBERT GIFFORD: Don't drink that Coke. MORGAN WEBB: Yeah. We were sitting around in my room, drinking this soda happily, and then I realized I don't know whose soda that is. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Nothing will make you paranoid about disease quite like playing Pandemic. OK. Robert? ROBERT GIFFORD: I actually also acquired the H1 nerd one virus from PAX. MORGAN WEBB: Actually, I got that as well. And remember-- I don't know if you remember on the PAX website, they tracked the flight that it came in on. And then they tracked all the flights that it came out on. And of course, I was on one of those outgoing flights. WIL WHEATON: I was on one of the outgoing flights, as well. So we all got the PAX flu? Really? ROBERT GIFFORD: Absolutely. WIL WHEATON: You were there, but you didn't get it. ED BRUBAKER: I was at PAX that year, and Rich, my friend Rich, who works at Nintendo said, a lot of people are getting sick. And so Rich and I walked around with our hands in our pockets-- WIL WHEATON: Witch! ED BRUBAKER: --and looked at things. Yeah, witch. WIL WHEATON: OK. So you also got H1N1. ED BRUBAKER: But I-- ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right. ED BRUBAKER: --in 1990, had repetitive strep throat for six months, where I would be sick with strep throat, and I would go to the hospital, to the emergency room, and they would give me medication. And I would get better for like two weeks, and then I would be sick again. MORGAN WEBB: You were breeding a super strain. ED BRUBAKER: I was totally breeding a super strain of strep throat. WIL WHEATON: Oh, my God, you are a mad scientist. ED BRUBAKER: It was when Jim Henson like died at the same time. I remember reading his obit while I was in the emergency room waiting to be seen for like, the ninth time. My friends, and my girlfriend at the time, like totally didn't believe I was sick anymore, because I just kept being like, oh, I'm dragging. And so I woke up one day, and my left ear drum had burst. I was like, bleeding all over the pillow. MORGAN WEBB: Can that happen? ED BRUBAKER: So I ran to the emergency room, and they were like, oh, we haven't been giving you strong enough medication. And then they gave me like super strong medication. MORGAN WEBB: Yeah, they're like, yeah, this is cool. Don't worry about it. This is fine. ED BRUBAKER: It went away. But for like four years after that, any time my throat felt sore, I'm like, oh, God. I'm getting it again. WIL WHEATON: I think you go first. ROBERT GIFFORD: Winner. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Winner. I think Ed goes first. MORGAN WEBB: Did your ear bleed? ED BRUBAKER: It was. It bled, and I have problems with hearing in that ear now. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, I'm sorry. This is not as funny anymore. ED BRUBAKER: That's OK. What was great, though, when I woke up, I had my girlfriend, who had been like, you're not sick. It was like, oh, my God! Your ear is bleeding! So it was like, yes. WIL WHEATON: OK, you go first. ED BRUBAKER: I win. MORGAN WEBB: All right. WIL WHEATON: You win at almost dying. ED BRUBAKER: But I like that you guys-- but it also makes sense, because you guys all got the exact same flu, and I didn't. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. That's another good reason you can go first. All right. So normally, when we play Pandemic, at this point in the game, we would sort of draw some cards, and figure out where the infection is on the board. But you don't want to watch that. So we did that before we all sat down. So the initial big infection cities, it looks like it's Miami, London, St. Petersburg. And then there's some other little things sort of around the globe. We should talk about our roles real quick. I'm the scientist. Ed's the researcher. Robert is the dispatcher, and Morgan is the medic. MORGAN WEBB: I'm the healer. WIL WHEATON: Yep, that's nice. You're the cleric. MORGAN WEBB: I never play a healer. ED BRUBAKER: So we should take the green pawn away. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah. Go away. You should not be on the board. ED BRUBAKER: I love that they're called pawns, by the way. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, jeez. WIL WHEATON: Pandemic wins! ROBERT GIFFORD: We all die. WIL WHEATON: All right. We'll put the green guy back there. ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm so OCD I just had to fix it. WIL WHEATON: So we are all starting out in Atlanta. Ed, you're up. So you got four actions. How would you like to spend them? [MUSIC PLAYING] ED BRUBAKER: I will-- Does it matter-- No, it doesn't matter if I have the card if I go to the city, if I can walk to it. Right? WIL WHEATON: Right. ED BRUBAKER: OK. WIL WHEATON: So like you can walk to Miami. ED BRUBAKER: I can walk to Miami. ROBERT GIFFORD: Drive. Take a bus. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: With a lot of other guys. WIL WHEATON: You could ride on a donkey if you wanted to. ED BRUBAKER: All right. I'm going to go here, and-- How many of these can I take away? WIL WHEATON: You can take one. ED BRUBAKER: One for each action? MORGAN WEBB: Yes. WIL WHEATON: Two, three, four. You take away all three of them if you want to. ED BRUBAKER: I can take away all three. OK. Morgan and I, I guess, had both not played the game before. Will and Robert both have played this game so many times apparently. WIL WHEATON: The fact that the very experienced players and the brand new players are all working together so well illustrates why I love cooperative games. ED BRUBAKER: All right, I have cured Miami. WIL WHEATON: Congratulations. ED BRUBAKER: Well, not really cured. WIL WHEATON: Right. ED BRUBAKER: But I kind of wiped out. MORGAN WEBB: You're a hero among men. WIL WHEATON: You just sort of went there and sprayed a bunch of disinfectant on things. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. I'm like, no zombies coming here. MORGAN WEBB: It's like putting signs up in the bathroom saying please wash your hands. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Basically, I'm a researcher, and I would like to tell you that you need to wash your hands. MORGAN WEBB: I'm going to install hand sanitizer stations. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, everywhere. MORGAN WEBB: Um-hmm. WIL WHEATON: All right. So let's look at cards and see what you get. You've got-- MORGAN WEBB: Ooh. WIL WHEATON: Ohh. A good card. A special event. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: Basically, you can play it when you want to. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, I can save this. OK. WIL WHEATON: And it lets you do the same thing that the dispatcher does. ED BRUBAKER: All right. OK. So I will save this until we need it then, right? And then I get a second card. WIL WHEATON: And then your second card is Bogota. ED BRUBAKER: Ooh. And I get to-- WIL WHEATON: Go ahead and take that. ED BRUBAKER: And I get to keep that. All right. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: Awesome. ED BRUBAKER: And I can eventually trade these with you-- WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: --when I have enough of the right color. Right? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. We are theoretically halfway to curing yellow. ROBERT GIFFORD: Right. MORGAN WEBB: [INAUDIBLE] going to pop up again? ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: And now let's find out where the infection spreads. Morgan, you want to put a blue in New York? MORGAN WEBB: I don't really. WIL WHEATON: OK. I will put a black in-- ED BRUBAKER: Infection around. WIL WHEATON: --Kolcata, which I believe is here. This game really messes with my knowledge of geography. It's only two. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. That's it Just two right now. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, because the things are not where the cities are. WIL WHEATON: Every time we play, I do that. OK, all right. So the first turn is over. OK. Robert. You're up. ROBERT GIFFORD: OK. So I'm a dispatcher, so I can move other people around, which seems like a good idea. WIL WHEATON: Yep. ROBERT GIFFORD: So I think I'm going to just launch Morgan out to London. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. I was going to say you should be shipping Morgan all over the world. ROBERT GIFFORD: My role, I'm just kind of putting people where they need to go. I'm the dispatcher, and I fly people to locations they need to be in. WIL WHEATON: We have a really good combination with the dispatcher and medic. Robert is able to get Morgan where she needs to be, and we can get a lot of stuff down pretty quickly. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, it's almost about to outbreak. WIL WHEATON: Just stand on the disease and make it feel bad. ROBERT GIFFORD: And then I guess I'll just start moving the other direction and see if I can get to a useful place in Asia. One, two. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, going around the horn. MORGAN WEBB: I like it. WIL WHEATON: You can either go to Tokyo, or Milan. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, to Tokyo, let's say. WIL WHEATON: OK, I'll put you in Tokyo. ED BRUBAKER: There you go. Watch out. ROBERT GIFFORD: I think that's my last action. WIL WHEATON: All right. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yep. I think that's it. MORGAN WEBB: You're standing on the tiny disease pile. ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm done. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, the [INAUDIBLE] disease pile. WIL WHEATON: All right. So let's see what cards you get. Jakarta and Algiers. MORGAN WEBB: With every card turn, I'm incredibly nervous. WIL WHEATON: I know. And the thing is, that inevitably an epidemic comes up, and then you just think, did we get that like improbable shuffle where the next epidemic is immediately underneath it? Oh, and for everyone watching at home, if you have played Pandemic before, you can set the difficulty of Pandemic by how many epidemic cards you put into the deck. You could play like on sort of an easy level, where there's two or three epidemics. You can play all the way up to the legendary level, where there are six epidemic cards in the "it's going to help you" deck. MORGAN WEBB: And that's what we're playing on. WIL WHEATON: Legendary. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right. WIL WHEATON: Yes, yeah. So if we lose-- MORGAN WEBB: This is a very brave man, right here. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, but if we lose, ah well, we're playing on legendary. But if we win, we were playing on legendary. ED BRUBAKER: Will informed us we were playing on legendary status. So I guess that's really bad. ROBERT GIFFORD: There's going to be a riot. I'm going to flip a car. I'm going to flip a car. WIL WHEATON: Well, you're in Los Angeles. That's what we do when we win. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's my understanding. ED BRUBAKER: After we get past the 6th one, there's like a Lord Humongous card in there somewhere. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, he just comes climbing out. OK, so we're spreading infection now, right? ROBERT GIFFORD: We're doomed. WIL WHEATON: All right. So Ed, why don't you put a red on Seoul here. ROBERT GIFFORD: All right. ED BRUBAKER: I like that they're above the city. It's like they're hovering in the atmosphere. WIL WHEATON: Robert, infect Santiago. OK. ED BRUBAKER: Looking for a good rain to bring it down. WIL WHEATON: Morgan, you're up. MORGAN WEBB: I'm so excited. OK, so for my first action, we're going to clear London. WIL WHEATON: Morgan's special ability as the medic is that she can clear all the cubes of the disease out of the city. MORGAN WEBB: I'm pretty awesome. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, in one action. MORGAN WEBB: So my second action. WIL WHEATON: Two, OK. MORGAN WEBB: My third action. And then my fourth action. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God. Wow. WIL WHEATON: Wow. That's great. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. We're totally going to win. WIL WHEATON: That's awesome. MORGAN WEBB: Fortunately, I'm playing as the medic. This is more of the healer, the support character. So they are able to move me a lot of places. And then I just kind of pick up disease. I feel like I'm helping. I feel like I'm being awesome. WIL WHEATON: OK. So Morgan, you get Manila. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, Manila. MORGAN WEBB: Very nice. WIL WHEATON: There you go. And you get epidemic! ED BRUBAKER: Oh, come on. Morgan. MORGAN WEBB: It was not my fault. WIL WHEATON: All right. [MUSIC PLAYING] MORGAN WEBB: The cards were against me. ROBERT GIFFORD: You gave them the Coke. ED BRUBAKER: You gave them the Coke-- the haunted Coke. WIL WHEATON: The first thing you do is you move the infection rate indicator up by one thing. Now, we infect. This is a great mechanic. This is one of the absolutely amazing, wonderful things about this game. MORGAN WEBB: And by great, you mean terrible? WIL WHEATON: No. I mean it's terrific. We go into the infection deck. ROBERT GIFFORD: Great to terrible. ED BRUBAKER: Only if you want to win. WIL WHEATON: Every city in the game is represented one time in this infection deck. So we go to the infection deck. We take the bottom card off the infection deck. And then we find out that this disease will now spread in Beijing. So put three cubes-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that one. WIL WHEATON: --on Beijing. Sorry. That's right, my bad. Good catch. And let's find out where the second card goes. Right? ED BRUBAKER: This one. This one. WIL WHEATON: Oh, right. It's the infection rate is two. ROBERT GIFFORD: The infection rate is two. WIL WHEATON: I really have played this game a lot. Every time. All right. Now, what we do is a step called intensify. This is where we take the discard pile-- ED BRUBAKER: Intensify. WIL WHEATON: We shuffle the discard pile around. MORGAN WEBB: Fine, it is a good mechanic. Whatever. WIL WHEATON: No, it's great. Isn't this a super great mechanic? MORGAN WEBB: No, it is really-- a lot about this game is really clever. ED BRUBAKER: It's totally funny when it's not happening to you. MORGAN WEBB: Right. WIL WHEATON: So let's-- MORGAN WEBB: Exactly. If we were watching other people play this game, I'd be like, ha, ha. ED BRUBAKER: That is the best mechanic I've ever seen for a game I'm totally not playing. It's not tense at all. WIL WHEATON: OK. Are we satisfied with my shuffling of these? ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. That was-- WIL WHEATON: Of these cards? ROBERT GIFFORD: Only once we see the results. WIL WHEATON: There's not a lot of cards. [INTERPOSING VOICES] WIL WHEATON: These go back here. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, no. WIL WHEATON: And that is-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh, so places that have already been sick, they get sick again. WIL WHEATON: But now-- MORGAN WEBB: There's only 17 more of them there. WIL WHEATON: Now we spread the infection. But look, you're close enough to touch those cards. So why don't you go ahead and spread the infection, and it's on you. All right. So-- MORGAN WEBB: That's my good luck. WIL WHEATON: Mexico City. ED BRUBAKER: Mexico City. WIL WHEATON: So I'll put one cube on Mexico City, which now has two. MORGAN WEBB: I don't know why I'm looking for good luck. There are no good cards. WIL WHEATON: You're looking for not Beijing. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. There's no-- Looking for not Beijing. MORGAN WEBB: New York. ED BRUBAKER: New York. WIL WHEATON: OK. That's all right. ED BRUBAKER: All right. WIL WHEATON: All right. And that's the end of-- MORGAN WEBB: We don't need New York. They think they're so great, but they're not. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: That's the end of the first turn. Now it is me. I am the scientist. The scientist's special ability is that I only need four cards of the same color to cure disease instead of the usual five. [MUSIC PLAYING] MORGAN WEBB: You think you're pretty cool, don't you? WIL WHEATON: So-- I'm glad that I can be-- I'm just trying to help. ED BRUBAKER: So if you get four like blues, then you remove all the blues from the-- WIL WHEATON: If I get four blues and go to a research station, then I turn those in, and we've cured the blue disease. And then the blue disease behaves the same as-- Then we can all treat the blue disease the same way Morgan can treat any disease. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. Oh, awesome. WIL WHEATON: All right. ED BRUBAKER: So we still have to wipe it out after we have the cure. Awesome. WIL WHEATON: We don't have a super duper, duper hot zone yet. I mean that's kind of not awesome. ED BRUBAKER: That's getting ugly. WIL WHEATON: So I'm thinking that I might go one, two, three-- I can either move over here, or I could move one space to Ed. You could only give me cards on your turn, though. Your turn is next. I can go to see you, and then you could give me Bogota and Los Angeles. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes. WIL WHEATON: And then I'm like halfway to a yellow cure. What do we think about that? ROBERT GIFFORD: Sure. ED BRUBAKER: Is it too soon to cure? Or do we want to cure as quickly as possible? WIL WHEATON: Oh, no. You always want to cure right away. But what I could do-- MORGAN WEBB: People are dying, man, come on. WIL WHEATON: --one, two, three, four. MORGAN WEBB: People need a cure. ED BRUBAKER: That's true. WIL WHEATON: I could go one, two, treat is three, and then Miami is four. ROBERT GIFFORD: Sure. Yeah. That sounds-- WIL WHEATON: Or I could go one-- you can go back to the same city, right? ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. Absolutely. WIL WHEATON: So I could go one, two, three-- oh, it's the same thing. OK. So I'm going to go to Chicago. I'm going to say hello to my friends who live there. What's up, [INAUDIBLE]? MORGAN WEBB: Hi guys. WIL WHEATON: Good to see you. Then we go to Mexico City. ROBERT GIFFORD: Are you going to say hello to your friends there? WIL WHEATON: Like seriously you guys. Wash your freaking hands. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: OK. I'm going to go there. And then I'm going to come to Miami. MORGAN WEBB: We actually tried to make a strategy for this game when we first started. We thought that we were going to cure the yellow disease. WIL WHEATON: And then you can give me cards-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh, all right. WIL WHEATON: --on your turn. Unless something catastrophic happens now. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah, which is-- WIL WHEATON: OK. So I'm going to draw a card here. Shanghai. ED BRUBAKER: Shanghai. That's good. WIL WHEATON: Come on. How about a yellow card? Cairo. ED BRUBAKER: Cairo. OK. We're OK though. That is not a bad card. WIL WHEATON: So now we're going to go ahead and spread the infection. Kolkata. ED BRUBAKER: Is Kolkata Calcutta? WIL WHEATON: It might be. ED BRUBAKER: OK. WIL WHEATON: I don't know. That's nobody's business but the Turks. [LAUGHTER] ROBERT GIFFORD: That's good. WIL WHEATON: A little They Might be Giants on the broadcast. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Miami. ROBERT GIFFORD: Absolutely. MORGAN WEBB: You're going to have to pay for that song, you know that. ED BRUBAKER: I just fixed that place. WIL WHEATON: Well, apparently someone didn't use the hand sanitizer. ED BRUBAKER: We already fixed that place. WIL WHEATON: OK. ED BRUBAKER: What the hell? WIL WHEATON: So that's the end of my turn. So Ed, it's up to you. ED BRUBAKER: One thing I really like about this game, it totally reminds me-- it's totally different mechanic, but it reminds me of that Lord of the Rings game where you play against the board. WIL WHEATON: Right. It's-- ED BRUBAKER: I like games where you play instead of-- because I get fairly competitive in games. MORGAN WEBB: It is a nice change of pace, because you know a lot of people are playing Settlers of Catan these days, and people get incredibly competitive, and sometimes it becomes a little bit less fun. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: Give me your sheep. I'm serious. Give you your sheep. I'm not kidding around, now. MORGAN WEBB: 17 sheep for your wool. 18 sheep for your wool. I hate you, man. ROBERT GIFFORD: I hate you. MORGAN WEBB: I will never help you again. ROBERT GIFFORD: I hate you. WIL WHEATON: I will stab you in the face if you don't give me lumber. ROBERT GIFFORD: Lumber! WIL WHEATON: I'm not even joking. ROBERT GIFFORD: All right. All right, all right. Easy, easy. WIL WHEATON: OK. You're up, Ed. ED BRUBAKER: So I am going to-- does this count as an action when I give you stuff, or is it just part of my character? WIL WHEATON: I believe that is-- share knowledge is an action. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: So that would be two actions for you. ED BRUBAKER: One action. OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: Two actions. ED BRUBAKER: So I'm going to share those-- WIL WHEATON: That's two actions. ROBERT GIFFORD: Did you hear about these places? WIL WHEATON: Two, three, four, five, six. I am one card away from my hand limit. That's important. ED BRUBAKER: From you hand limit. Yeah. Don't go over your hand limit. And then I'm going to cure this-- WIL WHEATON: That's three. ED BRUBAKER: --other outbreak and be like, dude. I just fixed you. And then I will go-- Wait. That was three? WIL WHEATON: Yeah, because this is two actions. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that's two actions? ROBERT GIFFORD: Um-hmm. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. WIL WHEATON: And I know the director is going to tell you to sit down and asked Robert to move you, because you're going to stand up out of the shot. ED BRUBAKER: Yes. So-- ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm happy to move you, sir. ED BRUBAKER: --what I would like is for my guy to move down to-- is that Bogota? Or where? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. Let's go down there and be prepared to cure them. ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm moving the wrong piece. ED BRUBAKER: I am the researcher, so I can go to anywhere, anyone else's, and just give them my cards. We thought, oh, yellow looks like it's going to really take over. And we all were starting to move towards that. WIL WHEATON: All right. And so now, we're going to go and do this. You got a Lagos card. ED BRUBAKER: All right. And then I got Istanbul. WIL WHEATON: That's also-- ED BRUBAKER: Come on. WIL WHEATON: [HUMMING "ISTANBUL (NOT CONSTANTINOPLE)"] ED BRUBAKER: I think someone's going to have to do a theme song. WIL WHEATON: Then let's spread the infection now. London. Morgan, thank you for treating London so we don't get an outbreak. Tokyo. ED BRUBAKER: Tokyo is getting in some trouble. No, it's just two. MORGAN WEBB: I don't like it. I don't like what's going on over there. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, I don't like it. And everybody there is walking around with those masks on. WIL WHEATON: I know. MORGAN WEBB: I know they are. ED BRUBAKER: Like now. Where there isn't even an outbreak. ROBERT GIFFORD: Pre-outbreak. WIL WHEATON: Clearly, it indicates that those masks don't work. MORGAN WEBB: You wear them when you're sick. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: You don't wear them to prevent disease for yourself. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, is that what it is? MORGAN WEBB: Because they're so polite there. They don't want to get anyone else sick. But I get it. Like when I'm really sick, I feel like I want to walk around with one of the things. Because you just feel like you're dripping disease off you. ED BRUBAKER: Have you ever put one on, though? ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: To like go outside ever? Like during the whole swine flu epidemic? MORGAN WEBB:I would in Japan, but I would not do it here. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, in Japan. MORGAN WEBB: I would do it in Japan. ED BRUBAKER: It's fashionable there. MORGAN WEBB: Because it's cool. I'd get one of the Louis Vuitton ones. WIL WHEATON: One time I put on one of those because I was painting my house, and I was like, I want to draw face on it. So I grab like a Sharpie, and I drew like a big marky face on it. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God. WIL WHEATON: And then I put it on, and I was like painting. And I feel weird, you guys. Because it was just so stupid. I was like basically huffing Sharpie. And I didn't know until it was like, I'm going to go lie down for a while. No, I'll leave the mask on. Can somebody put on "Dark Side of the Moon"? ROBERT GIFFORD: So I guess I need to figure out what we're going to do here. There's kind of a good thing where I can bring you to the best, the most diseased portion of the world. MORGAN WEBB: Yes. ED BRUBAKER: So I'm kind of thinking that's a good idea to keep doing that, to bring you to the locations that we need. ED BRUBAKER: And Wil is really close to me, so I can give him Lagos. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. I could just walk you on my turn. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: Well actually, I could do nothing. I could move my pawn to-- is it Beijing? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Beijing is looking bad. ROBERT GIFFORD: So I move one, two to Beijing. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: So if someone could move me to-- That's two actions, to go to Beijing, right? WIL WHEATON: OK. One, two to Beijing. Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: And then I will bring Morgan to me-- WIL WHEATON: OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: --in Beijing. That's action number three. MORGAN WEBB: I love moving when it's not my turn. That's fantastic. ROBERT GIFFORD: The fourth action, I'm going actually just unify the two of you in a location, as well. So there's no wasted action for walking. So I'll take white and move it to brown. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, okay. WIL WHEATON: Oh, that is super smart. MORGAN WEBB: Thank God. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's what I'm-- I'm just like a glorified flight-- air traffic controller. Listen. ED BRUBAKER: You're pushing it. ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm going to need you in Algiers, all right? That's all I'm doing. WIL WHEATON: It's like a package delivery service guy. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. Pretty cool. WIL WHEATON: You're like that fast talking guy from the '80s. I'm going to need you to go to Beijing. All right. Now I need you to come over from St. Petersberg to Beijing, and we're going to go down to Bogota, and then you're going to go to Bogota, too. And we're going to be there soon. And everybody make sure to wash you hands. ROBERT GIFFORD: Right. ED BRUBAKER: You sound like Jennifer Jason Leigh in "The Hudsucker Proxy." WIL WHEATON: On purpose. ROBERT GIFFORD: So-- WIL WHEATON: That's my internal dialogue. ROBERT GIFFORD: I draw theoretically good cards. WIL WHEATON: All right. You're going to draw some cards now, see? All right. You have Paris. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, wait. Not me? WIL WHEATON: Not yet. No, these are good cards. MORGAN WEBB: I know, I'm a little trigger happy on the diseases. WIL WHEATON: And you have in Miami. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, and now we have more yellows. WIL WHEATON: OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: Indeed, more yellows are here. WIL WHEATON: And now this is going to happen. ROBERT GIFFORD: Um-hmm. WIL WHEATON: Chennai in India, which is down here, right? ED BRUBAKER: Oh, man. MORGAN WEBB: That's too bad. ED BRUBAKER: That's looking bad. WIL WHEATON: That's not happy. And Beijing. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, no. WIL WHEATON: Guess what, everybody. That's an outbreak. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: So, put one in Seoul. Put one in Shanghai. And then we should be really grateful that that's all that happened with that outbreak, because it could have been so much more. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. It only connects to two places. WIL WHEATON: Now move the outbreak up one. Remember, I said, there are a lot of ways to lose this game. One of the ways to lose this game is if the outbreak indicator gets all the way up to that little skull and cross bones, which is the universal symbol for you just lost the game. MORGAN WEBB: Yes, for bad, bad things are going to happen. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, I thought that meant that we start playing a pirates game. ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, yes. This game is over. Pirates game next. ED BRUBAKER: By the way, don't go on land anymore. WIL WHEATON: Pandemic a very unpredictable game. The only thing that you can predict, and be absolutely certain, is that when you think you've got things under control, the wheels are going to fall off your little wagon of curing disease. OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: That would be-- I am done. WIL WHEATON: That's the end of your turn. Morgan, you're up. MORGAN WEBB: I think that my first action is fairly clear. I'm going to take you off the disease pile. That's one action. [INTERPOSING VOICES] MORGAN WEBB: So then I can do two. Yeah. Oh, unless you think I want to start moving my way down there. ROBERT GIFFORD: You can't get there, and so-- MORGAN WEBB: Right. So I should just-- ED BRUBAKER: Right. So you should go here and-- MORGAN WEBB: Just clean up what I can. ED BRUBAKER: Just clean up Seoul. ROBERT GIFFORD: Unless you have a card that will allow you to build a research station up here. WIL WHEATON: Oh. Ed's got the airlift-- ED BRUBAKER: Boo-yah! WIL WHEATON: --but I think it's a little early in the game to use it. ROBERT GIFFORD: It seems a little early, yeah. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. I think so. MORGAN WEBB: And I'm doing stuff. ED BRUBAKER: Un-boo-yah. WIL WHEATON: Yep. ROBERT GIFFORD: De-boo-yah. ED BRUBAKER: Can you take back a boo-yah? MORGAN WEBB: End in Tokyo, for next time, just in case. WIL WHEATON: Yep. Good call. Good call. All right. You want to draw your cards? MORGAN WEBB: Oh, no. One. WIL WHEATON: Osaka. MORGAN WEBB: I'm starting to get some-- ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right. Two more of those and you can-- ED BRUBAKER: I like the gas mask on the wall back there. WIL WHEATON: Thank you. Oh! The good one. So why don't you read what it says. MORGAN WEBB: I get to examine the top six cards of the infection draw pile, rearrange them in the order of your choice, then place them back on the pile. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that is amazing. WIL WHEATON: That is so super useful. ROBERT GIFFORD: Excellent. MORGAN WEBB: This is such a beautiful card. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: I never knew I could love a card so much. WIL WHEATON: OK. ED BRUBAKER: You've gone from a medic to basically like a tea reader. ROBERT GIFFORD: Everybody got happy, but there's still the part where we have to flip those cards over. There is. MORGAN WEBB: Oh. WIL WHEATON: All right. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, wait. She doesn't get to do that right now? MORGAN WEBB: I get to do it whenever I want. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes. So she can do it now. MORGAN WEBB: And I'm going to look to the guidance of the professionals-- ROBERT GIFFORD: OK. MORGAN WEBB: --to tell me when they think that I should play this special, one of a kind-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Generally, after a very terrible epidemic has come. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: When you're terrified. WIL WHEATON: What you do is you want to take that, and then sort of like rearrange them so like if there was going to be an outbreak-- ED BRUBAKER: So they don't go anyplace that has three already. Yeah. WIL WHEATON: So now why don't you go ahead and spread the infection? MORGAN WEBB: All right. ED BRUBAKER: Spread the infection. WIL WHEATON: Seoul. Will you put a red one on Seoul, please Ed? ED BRUBAKER: I will. If I can find it. Oh, there he is. WIL WHEATON: OK. It's so rude. MORGAN WEBB: I know. WIL WHEATON: It's like disease is a dick. MORGAN WEBB: Then we have Santiago. ROBERT GIFFORD: All the way down here. WIL WHEATON: All the way down. ED BRUBAKER: Does everybody start to feel a little bit sick after they play this game? ROBERT GIFFORD: Santiago. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Does everybody like start feeling their glands. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, after a particularly good game. MORGAN WEBB: I'd worry about my ear, if I were you. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: After a particularly good game of Pandemic, you realize how often you touch things that other people have touched during the day. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God. WIL WHEATON: And then you realize how often you touch your face after you've touched other things. And then, you're living in the Howard Hughes suite. I mean it's really Kleenex-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Kleenex boxes on the feet. WIL WHEATON: --everywhere. ED BRUBAKER: You must do this, too. You go to conventions, and you meet everybody. They stand in line. It's like, you're not going to not shake people's hands. WIL WHEATON: Look. I just had to-- MORGAN WEBB: I actually-- WIL WHEATON: No. I actually installed the don't [BLEEP] touch me rule after I got the swine flu. MORGAN WEBB: People are happy to be respectful of that. WIL WHEATON: They're really good about it. ED BRUBAKER: Now. MORGAN WEBB: Because the thing is like, does that person whose hand I'm shaking want to basically be shaking hands with every other person that I've shaken hands with? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: In fact, that's how you should introduce yourself. Hi, I'm a disease vector. You don't want this. MORGAN WEBB: Yeah. But, I am a disease vector. I really am. ED BRUBAKER: Exactly. Whenever everybody switched to the fist bump a few years ago at conventions, I'd see my friend. And I'm like, these people waited in line two hours to get like your signature. Like, shake. So I'd shake their hands. MORGAN WEBB: To bask in my presence. ED BRUBAKER: But you do after-- WIL WHEATON: But then you get the swine flu, and you're like, [BLEEP] you. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: You get an autograph and the swine flu, so it's not necessarily-- ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, that's true. MORGAN WEBB: It's not really a gift. ED BRUBAKER: I just have never had thought about that until like a few years ago. Like, we were at a WonderCon in San Francisco. Matt Fraction and I were doing a signing. And we both looked at each other one point, and we were like, don't touch your face. And we both realized like, how often you rub your eye. And anytime one of-- I was like, just stop me from doing it. If I'm about to touch my face, don't let me. It became a thing, where we would constantly out of the corner, you're about to scratch your nose, dude. Don't do it. WIL WHEATON: When that happens, I imagine that like, the camera zooms in on like, the pores on my face. So it's like a macro. Like super, super, super macro level. And then every one of my pores turns into a little troll face icon. And it just starts moving back and forth like this. Like, you're going to get itchy in a minute. ED BRUBAKER: It zooms in, and there's like World of Warcraft playing. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Well, that also happens. Is that the end? Is that the end of your turn? MORGAN WEBB: That is the end. Yes. WIL WHEATON: So it's my turn. ROBERT GIFFORD: Santiago got some meaningless disease. Santiago. It's all the way [INAUDIBLE]. WIL WHEATON: I think that I should stay in Bogota, treat two Bogotas-- MORGAN WEBB: They would appreciate that. WIL WHEATON: --and wait-- ED BRUBAKER: Two Bogotas. WIL WHEATON: --and wait for Ed to give me Lagos. I'm going have to discard a card on my next turn because that will take me-- well, no. I'll have two, four, I'll have seven. ED BRUBAKER: That will be your most. Yeah. But then you won't be able to get-- WIL WHEATON: Like you know what will be super awesome is if I drew a yellow card now, and I discard one of these things, and we would do a happy dance. That would be great. ED BRUBAKER: Or we, the three of us, could all meet in Miami, and then cure yellow. ROBERT GIFFORD: I do have enough cards. ED BRUBAKER: I can air lift you to Miami, and then you can move Wil and I both to Miami. ROBERT GIFFORD: Right. And I can give you Miami in Miami. You can take Miami from me. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I can give him Lagos wherever. ROBERT GIFFORD: So if you moved me to Miami-- ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, I can move you to Miami now. ROBERT GIFFORD: You moved-- Take a card as an action from him, one. WIL WHEATON: Right. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: But that's on his turn. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's on his turn, though. You can't do that. ED BRUBAKER: No, I can airlift at any time. ROBERT GIFFORD: So then the actions remain the same. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, OK. WIL WHEATON: They're still the same, yeah. And if we get lucky, that's a yellow card. ED BRUBAKER: No epidemic. ROBERT GIFFORD: Oh. Certainly. Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: That would be even better. [MUSIC PLAYING] ED BRUBAKER: And then we don't need to move you at all. WIL WHEATON: OK. So two actions. I'm going to clean. ED BRUBAKER: You can stay in disease-ridden Tokyo. WIL WHEATON: I'm going to clean that. MORGAN WEBB: It's beautiful here. ED BRUBAKER: It's beautiful here. WIL WHEATON: Do I want to go to Miami for my third action, and wait there? ROBERT GIFFORD: Sure. You're closer to a research station at that point, so why not? ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yes. WIL WHEATON: And I'm just going to stay in Miami. MORGAN WEBB: Beautiful there, too. WIL WHEATON: Right? Yep. It is. ROBERT GIFFORD: Really, where have you gone? You just like take a trip down south. Come back up. Like, listen. MORGAN WEBB: We've both traveled the world. ROBERT GIFFORD: The world. WIL WHEATON: You guys! You guys, it's winter! I want to stay where it's warm and nice. What's wrong with you? ROBERT GIFFORD: Whatever. ED BRUBAKER: He's indoors. He's playing Skyrim. WIL WHEATON: Traveling around with my Nintendo DS. OK, here we go. Let's find out what this card is. Be yellow! No! What part of be yellow did you not understand, you dick! ROBERT GIFFORD: There's some yellow in there, I think. WIL WHEATON: OK, all right. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yellow fever. WIL WHEATON: Move the Infection rate up by one. MORGAN: We're still on two. That's cool. ED BRUBAKER: We're OK, we're OK. MORGAN WEBB: That's cool. WIL WHEATON: Draw a card off the bottom of the pile, and put three cubes in Khartoum. Three yellows in Khartoum, please Robert. ED BRUBAKER: Well, we're almost about to wipe out yellow. It's not biggie. WIL WHEATON: Now it's even better if we cure yellow. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: OK? ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. They can get back to their blood diamonds. MORGAN WEBB: Sweet. ROBERT GIFFORD: The stakes in this game just keep getting higher and higher. You start to name them after a while. It's like, umm, that's clearly Ebola. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: One of them is the PAX pox. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's the PAX pox. So it's got to be blue. Blue is definitely swine flu. And red is the avian flu, clearly. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Black is zombies. ROBERT GIFFORD: Black is zombies. Because that's-- they came out of the Middle East. WIL WHEATON: This happens every time we play Pandemic. With experienced players, with new players. You name the diseases. For whatever reason, red it is always the bird flu. And one of the diseases is always the zombie outbreak. ED BRUBAKER: I'm positive of that. WIL WHEATON: You guys, look. Madagascar has already closed its ports. ROBERT GIFFORD: Exactly. Done. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: That's awesome. Ahh! ROBERT GIFFORD: Stop spreading infection. WIL WHEATON: Sorry. What is that? Kachoo, kachoo. OK. So are we satisfied that the infection deck has been shuffled? ROBERT GIFFORD: We'll see when you pull the cards, pretty much. WIL WHEATON: All right. ROBERT GIFFORD: This is one of those situations. You're just going to be blamed, no matter what. WIL WHEATON: All right. So that's that epidemic. I get to draw one more card. Yes! ED BRUBAKER: Oh, awesome. WIL WHEATON: That is good news for us. ROBERT GIFFORD: Fantastic. WIL WHEATON: That is good, good news. MORGAN WEBB: It is good news for the people of the world. WIL WHEATON: But now this is less good news. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Chennai is going to outbreak. [MUSIC PLAYING] ED BRUBAKER: Oh. WIL WHEATON: So that's one in Kolkata, one in Delhi, one in Mumbai, one in Bangkok. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ROBERT GIFFORD: Everything. WIL WHEATON: That's black in Bangkok. That's right. It's black in Bangkok, and it's black in Jakarta. So this right here, that's what we call super happy, not good, bad news. [INTERPOSING VOICES] WIL WHEATON: OK. Now Kolkata. OK, so watch what happens now. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: Ready? Watch what happens. Kolkata outbreaks to Delhi. It outbreaks to Bangkok. The disease spreads to Hong Kong. It hits Chennai, which means Chennai then hits to Jakarta. ED BRUBAKER: It goes to Ho Chi Minh, too. WIL WHEATON: Chennai hits to Mumbai. ED BRUBAKER: You missed Ho Chi Minh. WIL WHEATON: Wait. Chennai hits to Delhi. Chennai hits to Bangkok. ROBERT GIFFORD: And that would be two more outbreaks. ED BRUBAKER: Wait, but nothing got to Ho Chi Minh? WIL WHEATON: Nothing got to Ho Chi Minh City. ED BRUBAKER: OK, OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: Is that two more? Is that two more outbreaks, or one more outbreak? Because the original outbreak was-- WIL WHEATON: That's going to be two. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's going to be two. Because it was-- WIL WHEATON: We went from Kolkata, and we hit that again, so that's two. So-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Two. Indeed. WIL WHEATON: --this is super bad news. Ah! The worst thing ever was getting that black zombie plague, chain reaction, double outbreak. Because we had one on our outbreak meter, and we went up to four in just one bouncing feedback loop. You get up to eight outbreaks, and you lose. So we went from being 90% away from defeat to halfway to losing. In one term. We can only stand-- ED BRUBAKER: Does anyone have any black cards? WIL WHEATON: --three more outbreaks before we lose. ROBERT GIFFORD: I have one. WIL WHEATON: I also have two-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh, we can cure black. WIL WHEATON: --black cards. Well, in theory. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. WIL WHEATON: Because it's spreading very quickly. ED BRUBAKER: It is. I would issue a travel advisory not to go in that area. MORGAN WEBB: I think that is advisable. WIL WHEATON: All right. ED BRUBAKER: There's really nothing-- come on. WIL WHEATON: But guess what, guys. Guess what else we're going to do. Spread one more, right? ED BRUBAKER: Oh, come on. ROBERT GIFFORD: Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Don't hurt! ED BRUBAKER: Let's not alter the rules to make it harder. ROBERT GIFFORD: Punative. Punative. WIL WHEATON: OK. I believe that's mercifully the end of the turn. Another way that you can lose the game is if you run out of cubes. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, are you kidding me? WIL WHEATON: Because these cubes represent sick people. ROBERT GIFFORD: Or zombies. WIL WHEATON: Or zombies. ED BRUBAKER: Those are zombies. WIL WHEATON: So we are actually now-- it might not seem like it-- but we're actually at risk for running out of blacks cubes. ED BRUBAKER: So apparently, the board can kick your ass really quick. WIL WHEATON: That's super happy fun times. MORGAN WEBB: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: It's the hardest game in the world. Yeah. That's what happens. ED BRUBAKER: It's the hardest game in the world. ROBERT GIFFORD: Congratulations. Congratulations. ED BRUBAKER: Set on the highest difficulty level. ROBERT GIFFORD: Enjoy it. WIL WHEATON: All right. So I think that's it. That's the end. That's the end of my turn. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, God. WIL WHEATON: Ed, you're up. ROBERT GIFFORD: Why would you have done that, Wil? WIL WHEATON: Can I make a suggestion? ED BRUBAKER: Can I airlift Morgan into the hot zone? ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes, though she can't do anything about it until it's her turn. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, she can't do anything about it. But you can at least watch the destruction. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ROBERT GIFFORD: But you could airlift yourself into the hot zone-- ED BRUBAKER: Right. ROBERT GIFFORD: --and help out. ED BRUBAKER: Take out what? Two cubes? ROBERT GIFFORD: One cube, two cubes. These are all that's necessary to keep us from-- WIL WHEATON: This is all good. ROBERT GIFFORD: --outbreak of doom-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that's it? Oh. OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: --and these kinds of things. ED BRUBAKER: But there are so many places with threes, and it's just disgusting. WIL WHEATON: This is deadly. MORGAN WEBB: That outbreak basically shut down all of our proactive cure plans, and so we had to go straight defensive. And right now, we're basically just trying to contain all of the outbreaks. And I have to admit to you, it's not looking good for us right now. ED BRUBAKER: Well, how do I-- ROBERT GIFFORD: The question now becomes, do we stick with-- if you go there, do we stick with the original plan of curing yellow, or do we, at this point, say no, no. We can't possibly cure yellow. We have to deal with this. ED BRUBAKER: Yellow doesn't even look like a problem right now. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, black. I didn't even notice zombies. MORGAN WEBB: Right. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: I was like, oh, zombies. Whatever. MORGAN WEBB: So you're afraid of being chomped on. ED BRUBAKER: We have bird flu going on here. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: But how else would I be able to get over there, is the question. ED BRUBAKER: I can save this to use on your turn. Oh, but I can't get there, otherwise. MORGAN WEBB: Right. ROBERT GIFFORD: But if you move there-- MORGAN WEBB: Can't anyone build a research station? ED BRUBAKER: Well, he can move you there. ROBERT GIFFORD: I can, specifically, if you are there. I can get you there pretty quickly. Because I can move two pawns together. So if you're down in that zone, she can come right to you on my turn. And I can come right to you on my turn. So you being there for the next two turns is good for us. WIL WHEATON: That's actually a really good thing. ED BRUBAKER: So we should try and save that area of the world. That's what we're going to go for. ROBERT GIFFORD: I guess so. We can't write that off. ED BRUBAKER: We can't write that off. All right. ROBERT GIFFORD: Were like the generals in that terrible cabinet meeting. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, I know. ROBERT GIFFORD: Listen to me. It's over. MORGAN WEBB: So we're just abandoning the yellow plan? ROBERT GIFFORD: Santiago is done. ED BRUBAKER: How much are we going to build on? WIL WHEATON: I think we're back burnering the yellow one. MORGAN WEBB: OK. WIL WHEATON: I mean, the yellow plan was a good plan, you guys. MORGAN WEBB: It was a good plan. WIL WHEATON: I'm not going to lie. ED BRUBAKER: All right. I am-- ROBERT GIFFORD: I liked it. WIL WHEATON: But clearly, the zombie problem-- ROBERT GIFFORD: The zombies are-- WIL WHEATON: Is a significantly bigger problem. ED BRUBAKER: Well, how about if I-- Wil moved. So if I move to where Wil was, I could give him Istanbul, and then airlift myself over here, and take off one. ROBERT GIFFORD: And if I have extra actions on my turn, I could bring Wil all the way to us. ED BRUBAKER: Oh yeah, that's true. ROBERT GIFFORD: So again, that's-- ED BRUBAKER: But there's no research station near there. WIL WHEATON: And you could give me Algiers. ROBERT GIFFORD:That's true. That's true. ED BRUBAKER: There's no research station there, though. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes, but you can build a research station if you have the appropriate card. WIL WHEATON: And I have Shanghai, which is pretty close to there. ED BRUBAKER: I've got Beijing. ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, if you flew yourself, if you air dropped yourself with your card, to Istanbul-- ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. Istanbul. ROBERT GIFFORD: --and you used your Istanbul card to set up a research station there-- Well, it's still kind of far away. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. Where is Istanbul? ROBERT GIFFORD: So maybe not. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, Istanbul is way over there. ROBERT GIFFORD: They might be giants. WIL WHEATON: I'm laughing in the face of death. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! ED BRUBAKER: He's got like a hand crank turntable. WIL WHEATON: Listen. I don't know what your problem is. Things are awesome in Miami. ED BRUBAKER: They Might Be Giants album on that. ROBERT GIFFORD: You're sending yourself. WIL WHEATON: That's great. I'm having a good time. And I'm actually playing just playing Vice City. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: I'm playing Vice City in real life. In Miami, it's great. I don't know what your problem is. I'm going to a They MIght Be Giants concert in Miami. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. Actually, you know, you moved my guy to-- we switched guys. WIL WHEATON: Oops. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. I'm the brown guy. All right. So what should I do? ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, I would move to one of the cities-- ED BRUBAKER: Kolkata or Delhi? ROBERT GIFFORD: Any of the cities. Any of the central cities there. ED BRUBAKER: So probably this one. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, yeah. I think Bangkok. ED BRUBAKER: Then it can go to everybody. I'll go to Bangkok. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, but Bangkok will not generate its own black cubes. ED BRUBAKER: It won't? Are you sure? ROBERT GIFFORD: it's gotten all of those because of the outbreaks. But it will not generate its own black cubes. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, OK. So Kolkata. ROBERT GIFFORD: So getting rid of-- MORGAN WEBB: That's an excellent point. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. So getting rid of the others would really take as a possibility for an outbreak away. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: If we just manage to get the two that are connected to it, then that would be all that is necessary. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. ROBERT GIFFORD: So Bangkok can remain a pestilent filth center. ED BRUBAKER: Like usual. ROBERT GIFFORD: Like usual. WIL WHEATON: Trenchant political commentary. [LAUGHTER] MORGAN WEBB: I can't wait to read all the hate mail. ED BRUBAKER: By people who've never been to Bangkok. ROBERT GIFFORD: Just post comments. It's all my fault. ED BRUBAKER: I hear it's awesome. Marjorie Liu, please don't kill me. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. So you'd rather go to Kolkata-- ED BRUBAKER: Or Chennai. WIL WHEATON: Chennai, or Delhi? ROBERT GIFFORD: What's in the northern-- WIL WHEATON: This is Kolkata. That's Delhi. ROBERT GIFFORD: Kolkata. I would say Kolkata, just because that's more central. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. I'll go to Kolkata. It just outbroke. All right. I'll go to Kolkata. WIL WHEATON: So go ahead and play your airlift card. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, airlift. ROBERT GIFFORD: So this is none of your actions at this point. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, you still have four actions. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, OK. So I still have four actions. And I can get rid of all three of these? ROBERT GIFFORD: You could, though the one is more valuable than three. So one. And then you could actually moved to the southern location. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. You could go to Bangkok or Chennai. ED BRUBAKER: Is this two actions? ROBERT GIFFORD: No, no. ED BRUBAKER: Three? ROBERT GIFFORD: I would go to the-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, because that's not going to spawn black cubes, because it's in the red zone. ROBERT GIFFORD: And it's important to know that it-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh, perfect. I see. ROBERT GIFFORD: It has to be spawning black cubes to create an outbreak. You can just stack red cubes right next to it. ED BRUBAKER: So that's my second. This is my third. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. That's three. And then you've got a fourth move. ROBERT GIFFORD: If you move up there, then I can bring people to you, so I think that's a good move. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, yeah. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: All right. WIL WHEATON: So go to Delhi. ED BRUBAKER: I'm going to go to Delhi. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, I think that's a great move. ED BRUBAKER: I'm going to hang out here and watch zombies eat everybody. MORGAN WEBB: Hang out in the disease. Make sure your shotguns are ready. WIL WHEATON: So draw. Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Aw, man. New York. New baby. WIL WHEATON: OK. New York is a good card. ED BRUBAKER: I like New York. We love New York. Delhi. MORGAN WEBB: Yay! ED BRUBAKER: Hey! I'm there. I'm actually there. MORGAN WEBB: You could build a research station. WIL WHEATON: You could build a research station. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, but I don't have any moves. WIL WHEATON: But you're out of actions. ED BRUBAKER: And it's infection time. ROBERT GIFFORD: It is infection time. WIL WHEATON: I'm not doing it. You do it. ED BRUBAKER: Let's get Mikey. WIL WHEATON: He infects everything. Time for Mikey. ED BRUBAKER: Seoul gets a red one. That's no biggie. That's nothing at all. MORGAN WEBB: Whatever. ED BRUBAKER: Whatever. They got it. MORGAN WEBB: That's cool. We don't need kimchi. ED BRUBAKER: It's been cured. Nobody likes kimchi. Oh-- WIL WHEATON: Mexico City. ED BRUBAKER: --yellow. Mexico City gets a yellow. WIL WHEATON: OK. Robert, you're up. ROBERT GIFFORD: How have we done this? ED BRUBAKER: My turn is over. I survived my turn, and so did most of the world. ROBERT GIFFORD: So now my turn, it's just about maneuvering people to be in the right areas at the right time. WIL WHEATON: A really fun element of Pandemic, everyone has a special ability. And part of the cooperative nature of this game is using that special ability to benefit all of the players in the game. It is possible to just get hosed in the game because you don't have a really important guy when you really need him. ROBERT GIFFORD: All right. Let's see what I've got here. Algiers is nowhere close, of course. ED BRUBAKER: I like that you used "hosed." WIL WHEATON: Well, that's the technical term. ED BRUBAKER: Bringing it back. Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Hosed, boned. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: Morgan would probably be useful with her-- ED BRUBAKER: Hosed is unisex. ROBERT GIFFORD: --medical ability right in through here. So-- ED BRUBAKER: Well, I guess 'boned' is, too. ROBERT GIFFORD: --let's just take you and move you next to brown. That one. Two will be to bring Wil over to this party in the same area. WIL WHEATON: Yes. Please move me. ED BRUBAKER: That's awful. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: OK. So that's-- ED BRUBAKER:Please move me. MORGAN WEBB: Party. WIL WHEATON: That's three? Or two? ED BRUBAKER: Oh, awesome. WIL WHEATON: That's two, right? MORGAN WEBB: That's two. ROBERT GIFFORD: Two. Three should be-- let's see. I feel like we need a research station close here. I've got-- ED BRUBAKER: I feel torn because I so hate people that I feel we should let more die. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ED BRUBAKER: I haven't done much research on this, that I know that if we let a certain amount of billions of people die, global warming, it's over. WIL WHEATON: Let me appeal to your sense of self-interest. If we let people die, we lose. ED BRUBAKER: I don't want to lose. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right. MORGAN WEBB: But look how cozy it is up here in Iceland. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, look at that. It's got research stations. WIL WHEATON: That place is lousy with research stations. ED BRUBAKER: It's like Ice Station Zebra. MORGAN WEBB: But it's so nice, we can all live up there. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, we could. ED BRUBAKER: And it won't even be ice for very long. ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm going to spend is this card to fly to Khartoum, and take a cube off of Khartoum. I think that's the best play. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. That is. ROBERT GIFFORD: So I will fly to Khartoum. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah. OK. So the yellow is kept in check. ROBERT GIFFORD: They're currently not in threat of any outbreaks. ED BRUBAKER: Any outbreaks. Oh, awesome. MORGAN WEBB: Wonderful. WIL WHEATON: All right. ED BRUBAKER: Except for the ones we already have. WIL WHEATON: I'm going to go ahead and do this for you. ROBERT GIFFORD: Draw me some theoretically good cards. Oh. WIL WHEATON: How about another epidemic? ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, that would not be good. WIL WHEATON: That's not good at all. ROBERT GIFFORD: I threw up in my mouth a little. MORGAN WEBB: How many epidemic cards are there? ED BRUBAKER: That's how it starts. That's the first symptom. [LAUGHTER] WIL WHEATON: Oh, my God. The infection rate is now three, everybody. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, come on. MORGAN WEBB: Aww. WIL WHEATON: So that means we're drawing three infection cards every turn. Let's find out-- ED BRUBAKER: Starting with the next one, right? WIL WHEATON: Starting right now. ROBERT GIFFORD: This is no good. ED: Thanks a lot, Robert. WIL WHEATON: Madrid. Madrid. MORGAN WEBB: It's three, right? WIL WHEATON: And also, I just want-- Hey, Morgan. Remember how you can look at the cards and see where they are? ROBERT GIFFORD: Sweet Mother of God. ED BRUBAKER: Sweet Mother of God. It's funny how we all find religion. ROBERT GIFFORD: Right now. And Yeah. Now's the time. WIL WHEATON: OK. So I think now's the time to do that. MORGAN WEBB: OK. So where are we able to-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Are there more than six cards in the deck currently? WIL WHEATON: One, two, three, four, five. ROBERT GIFFORD: So you just get to order them at this point. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. So Morgan, go ahead and stack these up in a way that I think-- ED BRUBAKER: We don't want Kolkata. ROBERT GIFFORD: We just don't want either of the black, the two black outbreaks. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. Those should go at the bottom. MORGAN WEBB: OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: Because those would bring-- ED BRUBAKER: Too much drama. MORGAN WEBB: I'll put these at the bottom. ROBERT GIFFORD: Actually, no. Madrid would be-- WIL WHEATON: Hey, guess what. Madrid would be bad. ROBERT GIFFORD: Madrid would still be bad. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: So actually-- and both of those can take a cube, at this point. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: Is that correct? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: So at this point, actually, Madrid is the worst possible-- ED BRUBAKER: Madrid is the worst possible-- MORGAN WEBB: OK. So that goes on the bottom. WIL WHEATON: So Madrid's on the bottom. ED BRUBAKER: But we don't Delhi. WIL WHEATON: Let's see. ED BRUBAKER: Is Delhi in there? WIL WHEATON: Chennai, Kolkata. ROBERT GIFFORD: The rest of it is actually OK. ED BRUBAKER: All right. WIL WHEATON: What do you think? What do you prefer? Like, do you want to make Chennai sick? Or do you want to make Kolkata sick? It's your call. ED BRUBAKER: Kolkata can handle one more. MORGAN WEBB: Suckers. Kolkata is getting it. No one do Chennai. WIL WHEATON: So what's going to happen is we're going to infect. Seoul is going to get three. Mexico City is going to get three. And what's this one? And then Chennai is going to get three. That's how this is going to go down. Then on Morgan's turn, we know that Madrid is coming up. ROBERT GIFFORD: Right. WIL WHEATON: And Kolkata is coming up. So where I don't think that it is possible-- Well, I guess we got to get Morgan to Madrid. ROBERT GIFFORD: We could. ED BRUBAKER: We just moved her. WIL WHEATON: How can you get to Madrid? MORGAN WEBB: But I can clean that up a little bit. WIL WHEATON: Do you know anybody in Madrid? MORGAN WEBB: I don't know anybody in Madrid. ED BRUBAKER: Do you know a guy? [LAUGHS] ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. It's just one of those situations. ED BRUBAKER: Nobody knows anybody in Madrid anymore. ROBERT GIFFORD: Madrid's lost. Put out the cigar. Madrid is lost. We have to worry about the zombies. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: The swine flu can wait. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. But it's spread from Madrid all the way to New York somehow. Seriously. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. It probably went on a boat. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. Oh, they don't do that anymore. WIL WHEATON: On a tramp steamer. ROBERT GIFFORD: Iris. I never thought I'd be on a boat. MORGAN WEBB: I guess we're going to do Seoul-- ED BRUBAKER: It's Princess cruises. MORGAN WEBB: -- and then Mexico on top. ROBERT GIFFORD: OK. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: Yeah. There aren't really any good answers. ROBERT GIFFORD: Sure. Sure MORGAN WEBB: This one here? ROBERT GIFFORD: This is discarded, I would think. ED BRUBAKER: All right. MORGAN WEBB: Yes. ED BRUBAKER: Let's hope you stacked them in the correct order. WIL WHEATON: Robert, you get one more good card. ROBERT GIFFORD: One more good card. WIL WHEATON: Let's find out what your good part is. Johannesburg. ROBERT GIFFORD: Johannesburg. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: I guess that's good in the sense that it's not bad. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: I suppose. [INTERPOSING VOICES] WIL WHEATON: Go ahead and infect Mexico City, which is now at risk of outbreak. Go ahead and infect Seoul, which is now at risk of outbreak. Go ahead and infect Chennai, which is now-- is that Chennai? No, it's Mumbai. Where is Chennai? Which is now at risk of super duper outbreak. So if Chennai outbreaks, we lose the game. ROBERT GIFFORD: Filthy, dirty outbreak. OK. MORGAN WEBB: All right. ROBERT GIFFORD: So you know what your job is. You know your work. Get out there. MORGAN WEBB: I gotta-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Heal us! WIL WHEATON: All right, Morgan. I believe in you. ROBERT GIFFORD: Heal us! WIL WHEATON: You can do it. ED BRUBAKER: It seems like the game is cheating. ROBERT GIFFORD: We're going to wipe. We're going to wipe if you don't give us some healing. MORGAN WEBB: So one. WIL WHEATON: Yep. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah. MORGAN WEBB: Let's see. I'm going to go two. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah. WIL WHEATON: Yep. MORGAN WEBB: Three. ED BRUBAKER: You're like a superhero. MORGAN WEBB: Four. I wish I could do more. WIL WHEATON: We all wish we could do more. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. ROBERT GIFFORD: All of that. All that. And that's your whole turn, and now we get to draw some theoretically good cards. And three more. We get to get an outbreak in Madrid, I think. MORGAN WEBB: This is going to be an amazing card, you guys. ROBERT GIFFORD: Super, super amazing. MORGAN WEBB: It's not that helpful, but not bad. WIL WHEATON: No. MORGAN WEBB: All right. WIL WHEATON: Sao Paulo. MORGAN WEBB: Is there a song about that? WIL WHEATON: I just made it up. MORGAN WEBB: OK. And I got Seoul. That's actually pretty good. WIL WHEATON: Seoul. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's four cards. You need one more red card to actually cure red. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, wow. MORGAN WEBB: I'm going to do it like you. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah. WIL WHEATON: I have Shanghai. ED BRUBAKER: That's like monopoly style. WIL WHEATON: I have Shanghai, and we're very close to each other. MORGAN WEBB: I like it. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah. Look at that. WIL WHEATON: I have Shanghai, and we're close to Shanghai. ROBERT GIFFORD: We have to draw some theoretically good cards. WIL WHEATON: OK. We just did that, though. Right? You drew two. You drew two. ROBERT GIFFORD: OK. Good. WIL WHEATON: Why don't you go ahead and do that? ROBERT GIFFORD: Now we get to do the thing that we don't want to do. WIL WHEATON: Ah. Kolkata gets its-- I put these on backwards Sorry, camera department. OK. MORGAN WEBB: They're just kissing you off right now. WIL WHEATON: Come on. Turn the cards around, stupid. All right. ROBERT GIFFORD: Two more. WIL WHEATON: Number two. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, man. OK. Actually, I don't know why I was-- WIL WHEATON: It's going to be Madrid. MORGAN WEBB: I knew what was going to happen. WIL WHEATON: So Madrid outbreak. So put in a blue. MORGAN WEBB: So here and here. WIL WHEATON: You know what to do. MORGAN WEBB: And then London gets two. And then New York is now on three. ROBERT GIFFORD: The worst possible, and this moves to five. WIL WHEATON: And then also, don't forget Sao Paulo. ED BRUBAKER: Whoa. WIL WHEATON: Sao Paulo is connected to Madrid. MORGAN WEBB: No, it's not. WIL WHEATON: It super is. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes, it is. WIL WHEATON: I like the way you play, Webb. You got moxie, kid. ROBERT GIFFORD: So now, the worst card we could draw at this point, that's sitting right there on top of the deck, would be New York. New York would be the worst card we could draw. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, awesome. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Seoul would also be pretty bad. You know what? Why don't you draw a different card than those. MORGAN WEBB: OK. Beijing. WIL WHEATON: Beijing. There's nothing in Beijing. OK. MORGAN WEBB: OK. Good. WIL WHEATON: Good work, Morgan. MORGAN WEBB: You guys are welcome. ROBERT GIFFORD: Thank you. MORGAN WEBB: It's skill that has really brought me here today. WIL WHEATON: Wow. It seems like it was just one turn ago that things were going so well. I was going to stay here and get stuff from Ed, but I think that it probably makes more sense for me to walk-- but we should walk to-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh. Can you go somewhere and come back? WIL WHEATON: I think that I should walk to-- ED BRUBAKER: Can you get back by the end of your turn? WIL WHEATON: If I walk to Kolkata, clean two, and come back. But what I'm thinking I should do is Kolkata, one, Shanghai, one, and then move back. Or one, two, three-- MORGAN WEBB: You could stay in Shanghai, and then give me Shanghai when it's my turn. And then I can cure. ED BRUBAKER: We've got to get rid of-- ROBERT GIFFORD: That's true. ED BRUBAKER: --these zombies or-- WIL WHEATON: That's a good point. ED BRUBAKER: --the swine flu is not going to kill everybody. WIL WHEATON: I'm so worried about the zombies. MORGAN WEBB: But doesn't my turn seem like a million years from now? ROBERT GIFFORD: Aren't the zombie cards, by and large, in the pile that's now gone? WIL WHEATON: Yes. MORGAN WEBB: That is a good point. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: So what is likely to come up at this point? Seoul just took one, right? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: I say we're worried about New York and Madrid. ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, Madrid, we just had it. MORGAN WEBB:That's right Madrid is on the bottom. ROBERT GIFFORD: Madrid is on the bottom. The only one that's out there, that's in that pile, that's waiting to-- ED BRUBAKER: I have New York. WIL WHEATON: No, no. This is in the bad cards. [LAUGHTER] ED BRUBAKER: I was doing the newbie thing. WIL WHEATON: Edward Brubaker also laughing in the face of death. ED BRUBAKER: So I have New York here. ROBERT GIFFORD: So I mean the thing that will lose the game for us, it seems, is if New York comes off the top of that deck. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: Everything else-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that's what going to lose the game for us? MORGAN WEBB: But that means that you can travel to New York-- ED BRUBAKER: Or Mexico City. ROBERT GIFFORD: Or you could travel to Chicago, and go cure New York. ED BRUBAKER: You're not only the dispatcher, but you're also counting cards. WIL WHEATON: You're absolutely right. ROBERT GIFFORD: Counting cards is OK. It's allowed. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. Counting cards is OK in this. WIL WHEATON: You're absolutely right. OK. So are we thinking that at this point-- ED BRUBAKER: So did Wil make all of you guys put down $1,000 that we'd win, too? ROBERT GIFFORD: Yes. WIL WHEATON: Ix-nay on the ousand dollars thing. So, OK. ED BRUBAKER: I can't believe people gamble on this game. It's so weird. ROBERT GIFFORD: He said if we lose, he gets to take the table home. ED BRUBAKER: That's cool, right? ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: I guess, at this point, it's all Hail Mary passes for the rest of here. Maybe I get lucky, and I draw one quiet night. ED BRUBAKER: That's what I was saying in the break thing. I was like, the only hope we have right now is like, resilient population or a quiet night. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: OK. But can I posit an alternate theory? WIL WHEATON: Yes. Please do. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, please, please. MORGAN WEBB: OK. Instead of you going to Chicago and wasting all that time traveling, we could just hope it doesn't come up, and then he could-- no, no, but seriously. Like out of that whole thing. If you fly straight to New York, cures one, and then he can also cure one off of Madrid. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yeah. That's true. I have New York. I can fly there. ROBERT GIFFORD: Right. But the other thing, too, is that he could fly there and meet him there to transfer cards, as well. I mean that's a useful thing to do, as well. MORGAN WEBB: OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: I mean, the key is that-- WIL WHEATON: We could also-- that kind of returns us to the cure yellow move, because he could fly there, give me Lagos, and then it's just a matter of me getting to Atlanta to cure yellow. And then he does that, and then he does Madrid. ED BRUBAKER: I just fell like it is such a waste that we are standing-- We're practically holding hands, and I have-- WIL WHEATON: It is never a waste of time to hold hands with me. ED BRUBAKER: --if I have the cure for-- MORGAN WEBB: As long as you get sanitized first. WIL WHEATON: As long as you're wearing Tyvek suits. ED BRUBAKER: I know. Why do I not have my hand sanitizer on the table? I have never felt more-- Like I did the-- I brought my coffee. I'm like, is this my coffee? MORGAN WEBB: I already drank of out it. Don't worry about it. ED BRUBAKER: Hey. No problem. [COUGHS] MORGAN WEBB: It's been seasoned. WIL WHEATON: It's been seasoned. ED BRUBAKER: But I feel like we have the cure for the zombie plague between us, and you're going to run away from. Like, what is the deal? Are you just a huge, walking bedpan? WIL WHEATON: I'm afraid of commitment, and I think we spend a lot of time together. And it's making me nervous. ROBERT GIFFORD: But you can hand him that cure to there in New York, as well. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. That could be anywhere. That's your superpower. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, that's right. And then we're closer to-- ROBERT GIFFORD: To the research center. ED BRUBAKER: OK. MORGAN WEBB: So I want to get a red card. So everyone is going to abandon me. ROBERT GIFFORD: No. No. ED BRUBAKER: No one is abandoning you. ROBERT GIFFORD: No one is abandoning you. MORGAN WEBB: You guys are leaving me in zombie land. I just do not appreciate it. ROBERT GIFFORD: I'll be there. I will still be-- No. I'm not even there. ED BRUBAKER: He could airlift you out. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that's true. ED BRUBAKER: You're like Radar O'Reilly. [LAUGHTER] ED BRUBAKER: I can't get the chopper in. I'm sorry. MORGAN WEBB: I'll hold on to the rungs of the chopper. Don't leave me here with the zombies. [INTERPOSING VOICES] WIL WHEATON: It's like that scene in "Apocalypse Now." You're just holding on. ED BRUBAKER: Literally "Apocalypse Now." WIL WHEATON: I'm really thinking. I'm thinking. ED BRUBAKER: That's the next game. ROBERT GIFFORD: You've got to draw three infection cards. That's the biggest issue, I think. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. I mean, if New York goes-- ED BRUBAKER: This is actually harder than SimCity. WIL WHEATON: If New York goes, we lose. ROBERT GIFFORD: Well, we'd be to seven outbreaks. WIL WHEATON: Yeah ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: OK. Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Right. We lose. ROBERT GIFFORD: I think so. WIL WHEATON: Not on that turn, but-- ED BRUBAKER: Are you thinking the Center for Disease Control, they sit around and play this game on break and stuff? ROBERT GIFFORD: One would hope. One would hope. That's out last, best hope. Really. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Listen. It's not like we sat around playing Star Raiders when we were working on "Star Trek." I mean, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Like, do you play video games where you work? MORGAN WEBB: Yes. WIL WHEATON: I knew that. That's why I asked it. MORGAN WEBB: Constantly. WIL WHEATON: OK. MORGAN WEBB: We haven't built any research stations, either. ED BRUBAKER: We haven't built any research. We do not care about research. We're just like-- MORGAN WEBB: We do not. WIL WHEATON: I think I should fly to Chicago and walk to New York. MORGAN WEBB: OK. ED BRUBAKER: Go for it. WIL WHEATON: Fly to Chicago, walk to New York, and clean New York. ED BRUBAKER: Let's just hope-- WIL WHEATON: Fly to Chicago. ED BRUBAKER: Let's just hope you never need that blue card. WIL WHEATON: [MAKING SOUND OF AIRPLANE ENGINE FLYING] Turbulence! ED BRUBAKER: Does anybody else have blue cards? WIL WHEATON: One. MORGAN WEBB: Nope. ROBERT GIFFORD: I have one. WIL WHEATON: Two. Three. Treat one. That's four. ED BRUBAKER: So we are nowhere near ever being able to cure blue if I use my New York card [INAUDIBLE]. WIL WHEATON: I'm so not even worried about New York right now. MORGAN WEBB: I don't think we're going to do that. WIL WHEATON: I don't think we're going to be alive long enough to even worry about that. ROBERT GIFFORD: Let's just get some cures on the board, right? WIL WHEATON: OK. Here we go. Ready? ED BRUBAKER: Is there a don't turn over cards, like-- WIL WHEATON: There is. Yeah. One quiet night. Moscow. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, nice. ED BRUBAKER: Wait. You can almost cure black on you own. Maybe you'll get another one right now. Unless you shuffled really good. Don't peek. WIL WHEATON: Washington! MORGAN WEBB: Yay! WIL WHEATON: But I have to discard a card now, because I have two. So I'm just going to discard Shanghai. Kidding! MORGAN WEBB: You bitch! [LAUGHTER] ED BRUBAKER: But you can because she has four reds. You don't need-- ROBERT GIFFORD: She needs five. MORGAN WEBB: I need five. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, she needs five. And then we have to actually be in-- ED BRUBAKER: Oh, red is a problem, too. Wait. Oh, man. Everything is a problem. MORGAN WEBB: Right. WIL WHEATON: Everything is a problem. Welcome to playing Pandemic. MORGAN WEBB: Some guy thought that we should have all six epidemic cards in the deck. I'm just saying. I don't know if that was the best idea. WIL WHEATON: I hate that guy. All right. Ready? MORGAN WEBB: Ready. WIL WHEATON: London. MORGAN WEBB: Um. OK. We're In London. WIL WHEATON: Tokyo. ED BRUBAKER: Tokyo. WIL WHEATON: Miami. ED BRUBAKER: Miami. ED BRUBAKER: I've cured Miami so many times. WIL WHEATON: I thought that was going to be a lot worse than it was. ROBERT GIFFORD: It's OK. We've got some more turns. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. OK. ED BRUBAKER: Is that the way it works? Is that the end of your turn? WIL WHEATON: That's the end of my turn. MORGAN WEBB: OK. WIL WHEATON: So Ed. ED BRUBAKER: I am a researcher, but I have no idea what to do at this point, because my guy is like, catatonic in a corner, surrounded by zombies. WIL WHEATON: I think you're flying to New York. ED BRUBAKER: Flying to New York, and I'm giving you-- WIL WHEATON: You are giving me one of those-- ED BRUBAKER: One of those cards. WIL WHEATON: -- one of those zombie playing cards. ED BRUBAKER: OK. So that's two of my moves. WIL WHEATON: And then I'm going to one of New York's many delightful watering holes to get drunk as drunk. ED BRUBAKER: That has happened. WIL WHEATON: One. ROBERT GIFFORD: Two. WIL WHEATON: Two. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yah. MORGAN WEBB: Ooh. WIL WHEATON: Now, interesting thing, though. I have to discard a card now, which means that I'm discarding a yellow because-- ED BRUBAKER: You're right. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ROBERT GIFFORD: Why not just discard Shanghai? ED BRUBAKER: You don't have to discard a card until the end of your turn. Right? WIL WHEATON: Because she's-- Because Morgan is-- ROBERT GIFFORD: I have a red card over here. WIL WHEATON: Yep. MORGAN WEBB: He's got one over there. WIL WHEATON: Good point. ED BRUBAKER: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait. You don't have to do that until you've played. Right? ROBERT GIFFORD: No, it's immediate. WIL WHEATON: It's an immediate thing in your turn. Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. I thought it was at the end of your turn. WIL WHEATON: No. ED BRUBAKER: Being anal about the rules has not helped me in this time. WIL WHEATON: No. ED BRUBAKER: How strange. ROBERT GIFFORD: You still have two moves. WIL WHEATON: We need new rules, lawyer Ed. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: So you could move across your pawn and get a cube off of-- WIL WHEATON: Madrid or London. ED BRUBAKER: Madrid has already been-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Right. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, this has also come up, too. ED BRUBAKER: London is our problem. Oh, London has come up? ROBERT GIFFORD: One or the other. WIL WHEATON: They both just came up. It's sort of like, I think again-- ED BRUBAKER: We have to re-shuffle. WIL WHEATON: It's like take one off and just hope that if we have to re-shuffle. then-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Right. ED BRUBAKER: Which one has less connections? ROBERT GIFFORD: That's a great question. MORGAN WEBB: Well, Ed, we know that Madrid is going to come up if we hit another epidemic. ED BRUBAKER: Madrid has-- MORGAN WEBB: Because Madrid is on the bottom of that pile right there. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, London is bad. WIL WHEATON: London is in that pile, too. ED BRUBAKER: London is bad, though. London connects to one, two, three, four. Madrid connects to one, two, three, four, five. So Madrid is worse. ROBERT GIFFORD: Madrid is worse. WIL WHEATON: So go to Madrid. ED BRUBAKER: I always wanted to go to Madrid. I should have had someone do that. I'm wrecking your blocking. WIL WHEATON: No, don't worry about it. I'll get over it. ED BRUBAKER: I keep forgetting we're actually making a show. WIL WHEATON: That's good! That's good! MORGAN WEBB: We're trying to save the world. WIL WHEATON: The game works! OK. So now-- ED BRUBAKER: So tell us about "Star Trek," Wil. WIL WHEATON: So now-- OK. Turn's over. ROBERT GIFFORD: Theoretically, your turn is over. WIL WHEATON: Draw good cards. Draw good cards, Ed. Draw good cards. Draw good cards. Good cards. Good cards. Good cards. Good cards. Good cards. MORGAN WEBB: OK. ED BRUBAKER: Santiago. WIL WHEATON: Santiago. That's a good card. MORGAN WEBB: Good. We like that. ED BRUBAKER: San Diego. WIL WHEATON: Good card. Good card. Good card. Good card. Good card. Ho Chi Minh City. Good card. ED BRUBAKER: Ho Chi Minh City. All right. ROBERT GIFFORD: All right. Excellent. MORGAN WEBB: OK. WIL WHEATON: See, I know that I'm playing Pandemic because we've had two turns where no bad cards have come out. And instead of feeling good, I just feel worse. ROBERT GIFFORD: That's right. That's right. ED BRUBAKER: Because you're like, oh there's still bad cards in there. MORGAN WEBB: They're in there. WIL WHEATON: There's bad cards in there. Yeah. OK. So let's-- Yep. Yep. ED BRUBAKER: This time I have to turn three of these? MORGAN WEBB: Yep. ED BRUBAKER: That seems egregious. WIL WHEATON: It is. ED BRUBAKER: Santiago. WIL WHEATON: All right. MORGAN WEBB: No. I don't like the look of that. WIL WHEATON: Santiago is now a threat. ED BRUBAKER: Well, it can't come up again. New York. WIL WHEATON: New York. Boy, am I glad we cleaned New York. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, boy. WIL WHEATON: And Khartoum. ED BRUBAKER: Khartoum. Where is Khartoum? WIL WHEATON: That is where Robert is. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. Awesome. No problem. WIL WHEATON: That's so rude. Like, you're there in everything. And it's just like, I'm going to bring them and make it more sick. ROBERT GIFFORD: He doesn't respect me. WIL WHEATON: Not at all. It's all imperialist Americans. We hate you guys. All right. Robert, it is your turn. ROBERT GIFFORD: Wait. ED BRUBAKER: So when you guys were on break in between shots on "The Next Generation," like what board games did you play? WIL WHEATON: I painted Warhammer 40,000 figures in my dressing room. MORGAN WEBB: God, you're a nerd. I painted them, too. I wasn't very good at it, though. ED BRUBAKER: Did Patrick Steward ever come in and help you paint them? WIL WHEATON: No. ED BRUBAKER: Or did he do voices when you're playing with them? WIL WHEATON: No. But you know what we did do one time between scenes on "Star Trek?" I taught Patrick Stewart how to juggle. I was like, I can teach you how to juggle. And he was like, no you can't. I'm a Shakespearean bald man. I knew you could never teach me-- [LAUGHTER] WIL WHEATON: Juggling is not for the likes of me. And I was like, no, dude. Watch. I can teach you. Because at the time-- Now reload your nerd line. OK? ED BRUBAKER: Reload nerd. WIL WHEATON: At the time-- ED BRUBAKER: [SOUND OF A GUN COCKING] She's got a full chamber. WIL WHEATON: I was a card carrying member of the International Jugglers' Association. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, my God. You're such a nerd. ED BRUBAKER: Wow. WIL WHEATON: I carried with me a juggling prop bag. In that prop bag, I had multiple juggling balls, rings for juggling, multiple hacky sacks, in case I needed them. I had bowling pins for juggling. ED BRUBAKER: How old were you? WIL WHEATON: I was like, 16. And I had torches with fuel, in case I wanted to set them aflame. MORGAN WEBB: How many lights did you break? WIL WHEATON: All of them. All of them. MORGAN WEBB: You bring out the bowling pins and everyone says, please stop doing that. WIL WHEATON: I was juggling once. Set a shirt on fire. ED BRUBAKER: Was it a Star Trek shirt? WIL WHEATON: No. No. It was the '80s, so it was probably a Generra Hypercolor shirt. And I set it on fire, and I was like, wow, that looks really cool. I didn't know it could do that. And, oh, my God! It burns! It burns! It's not just how ugly it is. Ahhh! ED BRUBAKER: So you taught Patrick Stewart how to juggle? WIL WHEATON: I taught him how to juggle. Not very well, but I taught him how to juggle in less than 10 minutes. ED BRUBAKER: And then he leveled up and became a knight. WIL WHEATON: He leveled up and became a level one juggler. And I believe that that was how he impressed the queen. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: The queen was like, Mr. Stewart. We're looking for a fool. He was like, I got this. Wheaton taught me how to do it. MORGAN WEBB: So the next show is going to be juggling, and not board games? WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that's right. Yeah. But it's going to be me just sort of sadly being forever alone. ROBERT GIFFORD: So [INAUDIBLE] James will come on that show with you. WIL WHEATON: OK. Yeah. ROBERT GIFFORD: Have some contact with you. WIL WHEATON: We have a mutual friend who is a phenomenal juggler, with like the spinning plates, and the cigar boxes, and the whole-- MORGAN WEBB: And what does that get you out of life? ROBERT GIFFORD: He would say, not very much. [INTERPOSING VOICES] WIL WHEATON: I disagree. I know, having done it, that there's something really awesome about pulling out of a bag some, like three things, and just being like, oh, watch what I can do. Boop ba doop do. Boop ba doop do. Boop ba doop do. ROBERT GIFFORD: Defying gravity. WIL WHEATON: And then you do a thing where you're like, you put two in each hand, and you move one up and down. You're like, look. It's like crazy magic. MORGAN WEBB: My brain hurts even thinking about it. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. When I was a kid, I totally kept-- I was trying to teach myself to juggle for at least 15 minutes. WIL WHEATON: I'll teach you how to juggle after the show. ED BRUBAKER: I don't believe it WIL WHEATON: I'll teach you how to do it. I will teach you how to juggle, and then you, too, can be a knight. MORGAN WEBB: I think one directly follows the other. Indirect causation. ED BRUBAKER: Was this connected to your ren faire days at all? WIL WHEATON: Shut up, Ed. [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] ROBERT GIFFORD: So I've got this weird idea-- MORGAN WEBB: OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: --that at this point, things are kind of odd. And I feel like I should be flying you actually to an entirely separate location on the globe. MORGAN WEBB: OK. I find that interesting. But go ahead. Because I feel like I am the only one containing the situation over here. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. I was going to say she is like the Florence Nightingale of the zombie plague. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. I guess that's true. I just feel-- MORGAN WEBB: I get called that a lot. ED BRUBAKER: Either that or the Typhoid Mary of it. ROBERT GIFFORD: I'm not sure. MORGAN WEBB: I think I want the Florence Nightengale thing. WIL WHEATON: If we survive this turn, though-- I think Morgan is right. If we survive this turn, she can wipe out Bangkok and Kolkata-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: --on her next turn. I mean, if you want to do that. Right? Because you're sort of like-- MORGAN WEBB: It's tempting, because I'm there, and I just want to remove those little things from the board. WIL WHEATON: They offend you. I can tell. MORGAN WEBB: I really don't like that. WIL WHEATON: I know. You're role playing the part of a medic very well. MORGAN WEBB: I want not but to heal. [LAUGHTER] MORGAN WEBB: But what I actually want to do is try to be a little more forward thinking, and actually try to cure some diseases. WIL WHEATON: It's just wooden cubes on a board, but you care about those little wooden cubes. And it was bothering Morgan. She was vibrating with energy that she was unable to move one more city, and save all those people. MORGAN WEBB: My first action-- ROBERT GIFFORD: That's one. MORGAN WEBB: That's one. I mean, that's obvious. The only unfortunate thing is like, I wouldn't be able to get back Ho Chi Minh City, if I do this. Two. Three. And then-- WIL WHEATON: And then you can move to Hong Kong, or-- You're getting closer. You're going to be one away from where you want to be, no matter what. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, but I can move you, actually, on my turn, as well. I don't have to just fly people to places. I can move them once. ED BRUBAKER: We may not get to your turn. ROBERT GIFFORD: Ever the optimist. Ever the optimist. MORGAN WEBB: A minute ago, we were going to win this thing. ED BRUBAKER: We're looking at a serious problem here. As a researcher, I'm not sure we are going to make one more turn. MORGAN WEBB: Every time we turned a card over, we were so afraid of getting that epidemic card. I mean, just that fear sticks in your brain as you turn it over. And you're just like, OK. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. ED BRUBAKER: I mean, look at this. Even Lagos has three. MORGAN WEBB: I'm just going to-- we might as well get me close, just in the crazy chance that it's going to happen. OK? ED BRUBAKER: OK. WIL WHEATON: OK. Band-Aid, Band-Aid, Band-Aid. Just like a Band-Aid! ED BRUBAKER: Oh. You get to keep that. MORGAN WEBB: Oh. That's seven. OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: You'll have to discard one. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. WIL WHEATON: And Bangkok. ED BRUBAKER: Bangkok. ROBERT GIFFORD: Look at that. You have to discard one, but you no longer need-- MORGAN WEBB: Um, I'm going to keep this one because I feel like we've got some shit going on over there. I mean, stuff. Whatever. WIL WHEATON: No, there is shit going on. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. There's a major amount of shit with this disease, I am certain. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, yeah. MORGAN WEBB: Does somebody have-- WIL WHEATON: The odds are really against us. We're probably down by four goals with maybe 15 minutes in the third period. And also, we're the Los Angeles Kings. OK. It is my turn. I am going to go one, two, three. ROBERT GIFFORD: Ahh. WIL WHEATON: The zombie plague has been cured. MORGAN WEBB: What? WIL WHEATON: So now, what this means is that anyone who goes to a place with a black cube can treat it the way Morgan can. We can wipe it out. If we get all the black cubes off the board, that diseases is then sunsetted-- MORGAN WEBB: It's going to be amazing. WIL WHEATON: --which is great, because when those black cards come out, it means that nothing happens. [MUSIC PLAYING] ROBERT GIFFORD: And there's actually-- your ability now changes, because if everyone else was a medic, that would be-- You know, it's like, well, then why am I so special anymore? Actually, now your ability is that any place that you walk through, you cure every cube. MORGAN WEBB: No. WIL WHEATON: Yes. ED BRUBAKER: It doesn't even count as an action. ROBERT GIFFORD: Not even an action. MORGAN WEBB: But only for black, right? ROBERT GIFFORD: Just for black. ED BRUBAKER: So you have basically switched from Florence Nightingale to Jesus. [LAUGHTER] MORGAN WEBB: This is the best game ever. WIL WHEATON: I have one the action left. And I am open to a suggestion from the table about what I should do with it. ED BRUBAKER: What cards do you have? ROBERT GIFFORD: He needs to get a yellow. WIL WHEATON: I need another yellow. ED BRUBAKER: Where am I? You don't have a blue card. You can't possibly get to me. WIL WHEATON: But Robert could fly you to me. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah, in the-- ED BRUBAKER: On your next turn. So where could you get to? Oh, OK. So you've already done your thing. ROBERT GIFFORD: What yellow card did you have? ED BRUBAKER: I have Santiago and Lagos. ROBERT GIFFORD: OK. Nothing that's close to say, Miami, or anything like that. ED BRUBAKER: No. ROBERT GIFFORD: So that's not as useful for that. ED BRUBAKER: But if Wil went to Miami, then you could fly me to Miami. Oh, but that's not going to-- I can get to Miami in my turn. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. You'll probably just walk over and give him-- ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. I can just walk over. ROBERT GIFFORD: --a yellow card. That's fantastic. ED BRUBAKER: I'm Jesus, too. [LAUGHTER] MORGAN WEBB: Was Jesus ever in Miami? ED BRUBAKER: This is a bad-- WIL WHEATON: Actually-- ED BRUBAKER: Let's talk to the Mormons. [LAUGHTER] MORGAN WEBB: I guess it depends on who you ask. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. There's a Tony Award in that question. WIL WHEATON: There's a lot of Jesuses in Miami. OK. So [LAUGHTER] MORGAN WEBB: Their names are Jesus. WIL WHEATON: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My bad. So what do we think? Should I go to Miami, or should I just stay there. Should I just stay in Atlanta? ED BRUBAKER: Oh, you should definitely not stay where you are, because-- oh, I can still get to you. MORGAN WEBB: Well, no. But if he stays there, right, then you can fly me over there. He's got a research station. That seems like a really good strategy, actually. WIL WHEATON: All right. Great. ED BRUBAKER: Stay at the research station. WIL WHEATON: All right. ED BRUBAKER: And then we ccan cure everything-- WIL WHEATON: Ready? ED BRUBAKER: --from there. WIL WHEATON: Bam! St. Petersburg. ED BRUBAKER: No biggie. WIL WHEATON: And that. Tokyo. ED BRUBAKER: No biggie. Tokyo can take it. MORGAN WEBB: Oh wait, did I just-- I put the wrong thing. WIL WHEATON: No, no, no, no, no, no! These are just cards. These are with all my glasses and my shoes. ED BRUBAKER: Because we were about to have a ripple effect. WIL WHEATON: All right. Here we go. Ready? Moscow. Sao Paulo. ED BRUBAKER: Do you ever notice how HBO is always playing "Moscow on the Hudson?" WIL WHEATON: No. Actually, if that comes on, then I actually turn off the TV in protest. Even if I was on my way to something I wanted to watch. And Algiers. ED BRUBAKER: OK. So we've survived this turn. WIL WHEATON: All right. ROBERT GIFFORD: Don't jinx us. Don't jinx us. WIL WHEATON: Stop saying that. ROBERT GIFFORD: Don't jinx us. MORGAN WEBB: It is a miracle. WIL WHEATON: Stop saying that. ED BRUBAKER: Why is that blue and black? WIL WHEATON: Because that was from the Madrid. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, my God. WIL WHEATON: Remember the Madrid incident? It was all over CNN. MORGAN WEBB: We don't like to talk about that anymore. WIL WHEATON: The Madrid incident was all over CNN, and then like a pretty coed was kidnapped somewhere. And then they went to wall to wall coverage of that instead. MORGAN WEBB: It was the best day of my life. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. It was great. It was great. And then there was that shark attack. And they were like, oh, my God. What story do we cover? Split screen. Shark attack. Missing coed. So that's the end of my turn. Ed. MORGAN WEBB: Make us proud. ED BRUBAKER: I am going to go to-- ROBERT GIFFORD: I'll move your guy. WIL WHEATON: Are you going to clean on your way? ED BRUBAKER: Should I clean on the way? ROBERT GIFFORD: I don't think you have enough actions. That's one, and then two, three. And then trade him a card. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, yes. You're right. OK. Then let's just move me to Wil, and I will give you Lagos. WIL WHEATON: Lagos. MORGAN WEBB: And since you are the scientist, you only need four. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that's right. MORGAN WEBB: That is fantastic. WIL WHEATON: So when we get to my turn-- ROBERT GIFFORD: We have two cures coming down the pipeline. A cure here, and a cure there. WIL WHEATON: Wow. MORGAN WEBB: It seems so far away. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: It seems weird that the scientist wasn't just sitting at the research station all along. [LAUGHTER] ED BRUBAKER: It seems like a good place to be if I'm a scientist. WIL WHEATON: There were some tropical places to go visit. Listen. The thing is, that in addition to being a scientist-- ED BRUBAKER: If you do some research. WIL WHEATON: --I'm also a drug mule. [LAUGHTER] [INTERPOSING VOICES] ROBERT GIFFORD: That's how he knows a guy in Bogota. WIL WHEATON: What are you talking about? I went to Bogota. ED BRUBAKER: Are you saying he knows people. ROBERT GIFFORD: In Bogota. Yeah. MORGAN WEBB: It was just for medical reasons. WIL WHEATON: All right. Ed. Go ahead. ROBERT GIFFORD: Draw theoretically good cards. ED BRUBAKER: Kolkata. Madrid. Theoretically, and in reality-- MORGAN WEBB: I don't understand where all the rest of them are. ROBERT GIFFORD: We've been on borrowed time. We've been on borrowed time. ED BRUBAKER: We've had three of those so now it's these. Would you like to do the honor? WIL WHEATON: No. This is making me think that we're going to back-to-back-- ROBERT GIFFORD: Shush. As soon as you feel like that, that's when the game just comes back and tells you about-- ED BRUBAKER: Mumbai. WIL WHEATON: OK. Mumbai. ED BRUBAKER:We've cured that. That's no biggie. It doesn't even matter. and WIL WHEATON: Well, no. It could still outbreak. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, but whatever. MORGAN WEBB: Oh, God. I don't like the look of that. ED BRUBAKER: Jakarta. WIL WHEATON: Jakarta. That's got two blacks on it in Indonesia. MORGAN WEBB: That is some crap over that I don't like the look of. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, it has two blacks from the-- Oh. So what happens-- WIL WHEATON: That's not an outbreak. ED BRUBAKER: Oh. OK. Good. Good to know Baghdad. WIL WHEATON: OK. All right. Robert, go. ROBERT GIFFORD: We survived. ED BRUBAKER: For one more turn. ROBERT GIFFORD: Hooray. ED BRUBAKER: I was skeptical we would get to you. WIL WHEATON: Remember when we talked about how, like great the tension of this game is? My hands are sweating. ED BRUBAKER: I know. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: It's like an entire season of "Breaking Bad." [MUSIC PLAYING] ROBERT GIFFORD: Need to fly Morgan to the research station, for sure. Right? WIL WHEATON: Yes. Morgan, would you like to go to the research station? MORGAN WEBB: I would love to go to the research station. Look how cozy and wonderful that place looks. Also, it's kind of a party over there. WIL WHEATON: Ba da da da. MORGAN WEBB: Da da da. ED BRUBAKER: Da da da. Oh, wait a second. Oh, because she can cure without Wil. MORGAN WEBB: Because I'm about to cure some disease. I had the red cure in my hand. People were going to name their children after me, because I had eradicated one of Earth's great scourges. ED BRUBAKER: Is it possible to win the game without adding any research stations anywhere else? ROBERT GIFFORD: We're about to find out. WIL WHEATON: There's another special card called the operations managers. Is that what it is? And that guy can build research stations anywhere. You just sort of drop them anywhere you want. ROBERT GIFFORD: I think that my next best move would be to go in and kind of deal with Santiago a bit, I think. WIL WHEATON: Agreed. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. OK. So-- ED BRUBAKER: I hear there's some drug muling going on. ROBERT GIFFORD: --one, two, three, and then I'll take a cube off of Santiago. MORGAN WEBB: OK. OK. WIL WHEATON: Wait. Did you just use an extra move because you moved Morgan? ROBERT GIFFORD: That was one-- WIL WHEATON: That was a one, right? ROBERT GIFFORD: --and then two, and then three. WIL WHEATON: OK. ROBERT GIFFORD: Then take a cube off. WIL WHEATON: OK. ED BRUBAKER: Just look the other way, dude. MORGAN WEBB: I don't-- it's really unfortunate that that just happened. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, come on. WIL WHEATON: It's even spinning. MORGAN WEBB: I know. Mocking us. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yep. WIL WHEATON: It's so-- Why do you got to be like that, epidemic card? All right. Here we go. ROBERT GIFFORD: Fortunately, there's a lot to shuffle. ED BRUBAKER: Are the all the same? WIL WHEATON: We are increasing the infection rate indicator. We are drawing a card off the bottom of the deck, which is Milan in Italy. And now there's so many cards, I'm going to do this. MORGAN WEBB: Three, right? ROBERT GIFFORD: Um-hmm. MORGAN WEBB: I was afraid you were going to say that. But that's cool, actually. ROBERT GIFFORD: It's not the worst thing in history. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. It could have been four. MORGAN WEBB: It could have been really, really terrible. ED BRUBAKER: Yeah, it could have been major. ROBERT GIFFORD: Really? ED BRUBAKER: We're going to win. No biggie. MORGAN WEBB: Yeah, totally. I agree. ROBERT GIFFORD: If we win, I'm flipping over a car. Because it's happening. WIL WHEATON: If we win, we are going to go out into the streets of Los Angeles, and set some [BLEEP] on fire. ROBERT GIFFORD: Fire. Fire. ED BRUBAKER: Are you like that lady whose baby is stuck under the car? You're just going to flip it? WIL WHEATON: Also, if we lose, we're going to go out into the streets of LA and set some [BLEEP] on fire. Yeah. That is what we do. MORGAN WEBB: Just not my car. OK? WIL WHEATON: Morgan, your car is on the list. MORGAN WEBB: His car. His car is cool. I mean whatever. ROBERT GIFFORD: It's new, I understand. MORGAN WEBB: He's trying to go green, anyway. ROBERT GIFFORD: Exactly. There you go. WIL WHEATON: Few things are quite as green as setting a car on fire. That's science, kid. Set a car on fire for planet Earth. ED BRUBAKER: I always thought that was weird when the Earth First people would light SUVs on fire. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ED BRUBAKER: Because burning truck tires and engines. WIL WHEATON: Well, you know it looks good. MORGAN WEBB: It is dramatic. ED BRUBAKER: It's a great way to go to jail. So how are we going to get through this? ROBERT GIFFORD: We're just not going to draw cards. We're going to stop right now, declare ourselves victorious, and walk away. ED BRUBAKER: There's still another card, which is probably another epidemic, at this point. Unless it's quiet night. Quiet night is still in there. WIL WHEATON: I could just keep on shuffling these cards. ROBERT GIFFORD: For ever. For ever. WIL WHEATON: For ever. All right. So listen. Before everybody yells at me-- MORGAN WEBB: All right. WIL WHEATON: This is technically Robert's turn. [LAUGHTER] WIL WHEATON: OK. Ready? ROBERT GIFFORD: All right. MORGAN WEBB: OK. WIL WHEATON: Khartoum. OK. ED BRUBAKER: There's one. ROBERT GIFFORD: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: London. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, God. ROBERT GIFFORD: Oh, no, no, no! [MUSIC PLAYING] ROBERT GIFFORD: Yep. ED BRUBAKER: Oh, no. MORGAN WEBB: So now, Madrid. ED BRUBAKER: Madrid hits everywhere. MORGAN WEBB: It goes like this, and we're out of blues. WIL WHEATON: Madrid hits here. ED BRUBAKER: And we lost the game. WIL WHEATON: Madrid hits London. ROBERT GIFFORD: I think that we go to skull. MORGAN WEBB: We're out of blues. WIL WHEATON: We lose the game, actually, in two different ways. ROBERT GIFFORD: Right. WIL WHEATON: We lose the game on outbreaks, and we lose the game on-- what did we decide that was? Swine flu? MORGAN WEBB: The game was actually going pretty well. We had a lot of really good draws there towards the end. We had cures on the horizon. We're like, we're going to win this thing. And then we totally failed. WIL WHEATON: I'm not even afraid of the zombie outbreak anymore. Even though it came up, and it threw its worst at us, we kicked the zombie apocalypse in its undead nuts. It was H1 nerd one that did us in. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ED BRUBAKER: Yeah. We were all in Atlanta. WIL WHEATON: So-- [SIDE CONVERSATION] ROBERT GIFFORD: No. ED BRUBAKER: That would have been resilient population. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, we die in the epidemic. Yeah. There's no way of getting out of it. ED BRUBAKER: There's no way out. WIL WHEATON: OK. So you guys-- ED BRUBAKER:Is this how the Stephen Soderbergh movie ends, too? WIL WHEATON: No, the Steven Soderbergh ends with me walking out going, are you [BLEEP] serious? ED BRUBAKER: Really? ROBERT GIFFORD: For real? ED BRUBAKER: What happened? WIL WHEATON: It's a terrible movie. Everyone, we did the very best that we could. We tried to save the world from the puking [BLEEP] death flu. MORGAN WEBB: Sometimes the world doesn't want to be saved. ED BRUBAKER: We stopped zombies. WIL WHEATON: Sometimes the world doesn't want to be saved. [INTERPOSING VOICES] WIL WHEATON: We did stop zombies. ROBERT GIFFORD: But H1 nerd one cannot be stopped. ED BRUBAKER: H1 nerd one. WIL WHEATON: We can take that. But, yeah, it turns out that the PAX flu. MORGAN WEBB: Um-hm WIL WHEATON: So whoever was patient zero at PAX in 2009, this loss is on you! All right. Let's go to the couch of defeat. Pandemic box, you get to go downstairs to the victory wall. Try not to gloat. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: Well, we did our best. MORGAN WEBB: Tell that to those people down there. WIL WHEATON: The people that Robert killed? MORGAN WEBB: Yeah. Those people. ROBERT GIFFORD: Hey! Easy. Easy. I think we all killed them together. All right? MORGAN WEBB: It was your turn. ROBERT GIFFORD: It was a team effort. MORGAN WEBB: I say, for the record, it was your turn. WIL WHEATON: I just want to point out-- ED BRUBAKER: That people suck? And they deserve to die? WIL WHEATON: No. No. No. I just want to point out that we really did have a lot of fun losing that game. MORGAN WEBB: That is true. WIL WHEATON: That was great. ED BRUBAKER: How much fun did the game have beating us? WIL WHEATON: I'll find out. ED BRUBAKER: We had more fun. WIL WHEATON: Maybe. I'll ask the game when I go downstairs to talk to it at the wall of victory, right before I punch it in the face. Listen, you guys. We don't like anyone to go home empty handed when you play on TableTop. So we have given you a parting gift. There was bubonic plague in your water. MORGAN WEBB: That is so sweet. WIL WHEATON: I know. MORGAN WEBB: You think of everything. WIL WHEATON: I do. [MUSIC PLAYING] ROBERT GIFFORD: Is that swollen? [MUSIC PLAYING] [PUNCHING SOUND] [MUSIC PLAYING]
A2 wheaton wil wheaton wil ed webb morgan TableTop Extended Edition: Pandemic 263 11 黃子忻 posted on 2016/06/28 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary