It has to do with loneliness and self-disgust

When we begin as babies in this world

if we're lucky, everything about us is acceptable and adorable, from our toes to our temples

Then gradually we grow up

and become shamed of our nakedness and guilty about so much

it becomes taboo to touch and be touched

we have no choice but to keep a minimum of 60, or even better, 90 cm distance

between us and others at all times

but deep inside, we never quite forget the needs with which we were born

to be accepted as we truly are

in every area

hence the significance of oral sex

it sounds disgusting when we think of doing it with an innapropriate person, and that's the point

Nothing is erotic that isn't also, with the wrong person, revolting

But with the right person

at the precise juncture where disgust could be at its height

we feel only acceptance

welcoming permission

The privileged nature of a relationship is sealed by an act which with someone would've been sickening

Oral sex is interesting and exciting because it's about closeness

Normal life continually requires us to be polite so much of the time

We have to repress all that's ostensibly bad within us

our lust and our desires

We can't both be accepted by society and reveal who we really are

hence the erotic ecstasy

which is more accurately, really, just emotional relief

when oral sex permits our secret self with all its bad and dirty sides

to be witnessed and enthusiastically endorsed by someone else

The bond of loyalty between a couple

grows stronger with every increase in explicitness

the more unacceptable our behavior would be to the larger world

the more we feel as if we're building a haven of mutual acceptance

Sex liberates us for a time, and that punishing dichotomy between dirty and clean

It literally purifies us by engaging the most apparently polluted sides of ourselves in its games

We can press our mouths, the most public and respectable aspects of our faces

eagerly to the most contaminated parts of the other

Thereby symbolizing a total psychological approval

much as a priest would accept a penitent

guilty of many transgressions

back in the fold of the church with a light kiss up on the head

The pleasure of oral sex is deeply rich and significant

It isn't primarily about a pleasant physiological sensation at all

it's about psychology, acceptance and a promise of an end to loneliness