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  • BEFORE WE DO THE MYANMAR DAILY SHOW, IT'S NICE TO GET FAMILIAR

  • WITH THE PLACE.

  • FORMALLY KNOWN AS BURMA, POPULATION OF 56 MILLION,

  • THE NATION THAT LOOKS LIKE A DEEP-FRIED PORK CHOP

  • IS LOCATED IN SOUTHEAST ASIA.

  • LIKE MOST COLLEGE DORMS, MYANMAR IS 90% BUDDHIST.

  • THEY HAVE SO MANY BUDDHISTS THEY EVEN HAVE BUDDHIST EXTREMISTS.

  • YOU'RE THINKING ISN'T THAT A CONTRADICTION?

  • WHAT DO THEY DO?

  • CLAP WITH ONE HAND LOUDLY?

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • NO, SILLY, THEY WANT ALL MUSLIMS TO DIE.

  • >> WRATHU, THE MONKS COMPARED MUSLIMS TO MAD DOGS.

  • >> HIS RHETORIC IS EXTREME, BUT HIS MANTRA THAT BURMA IS FOR

  • BUDDHISTS IS WIDELY HELD.

  • >> DO MUSLIMS HAVE A PLACE HERE IN BURMA?

  • WE CAN'T REPEAT HIS ACTUAL RESPONSE, IT'S R-RATED, BUT

  • ESSENTIALLY HE SAID MUSLIMS WERE DEFECATING ON BURMA.

  • >> Trevor: YEAH, THAT IS U WIRATHU, A PROMIMENT

  • RELIGIOUS LEADER IN BURMA.

  • AND THAT HAS TO BE THE LEAST CHILL MONK I'VE COME ACROSS.

  • "OOMMMM, MY GOD I I HAD MUSLIMS SO MUCH!

  • MYANMAR'S CAPITAL CITY USED TO BE YANGON.

  • BUT THIS IS CRAZY.

  • IN 2006, THE GOVERNEMNT DECIDED TO BUILD A NEW CAPITAL CITY,

  • NAYPYIDAW.

  • AND THEY BUILT IT FROM SCRATCH IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE,

  • WHICH SOUNDS RIDICULOUS, UNTIL YOU CONSIDER THE COMMUTE.

  • >> THERE AREN'T MANY PLACE WHERE IS YOU COULD SAFELY STAND IN THE

  • MIDDLE OF A MULTI-LANE HIGHWAY.

  • I CAN CARRY ON WALKING 20 LANES ACROSS.

  • SINCE WE HAVE BEEN HERE, I THINK I CAN COUNT ON ONE HAND THE

  • NUMBER OF VEHICLES I'VE SEEN.

  • >> Trevor: WOW.

  • 20 LANES AND NO CARS.

  • THAT HAS TO BE THE EASIEST LEVEL OF FROGGER EVER!

  • CAN YOU IMAGINE?

  • COME ON, YOU GOT THIS!

  • YEP, YEP, YEP!

  • WHOO!

  • IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST LANE, NO!

  • DAMN YOU!

  • THE LAST WEEKEND MYANMAR HAD THE FIRST FREE ELECTIONS AFTER THE

  • DECADE OF MILITARY REGIME WHOSE CHIEF OPPONENTS HAVE BEEN NOBLE

  • PEACE PRIZE WINNER AUNG SAN SUU KYI.

  • >> AUNG SAN SUU KYI, AFTER SPENDING TWO DECADES UNDER HOUSE

  • ARREST, SHE'S POISED TO LEAD HER PRO-DEMOCRACY PARTY TO VICTORY.

  • >> Trevor: THAT'S RIGHT. UNDER HOUSE ARREST FOR 15 YEARS.

  • SHE GOT TO THE END OF NETFLIX AND NOW HER SUGGESTIONS ARE, GO

  • OUTSIDE!

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • AND THEN IN 2010, THEY FINALLY FREED HER MAKING IT THE SECOND

  • BIGGEST RELEASE THAT YEAR, BEHIND KE$SHA'S ALBUM "ANIMAL.

  • WHICH BRINGS US TO LAST WEEK'S NATIONAL ELECTION.

  • SO, NOW THAT WE'RE ALL CAUGHT UP, LET'S DO IT, PEOPLE.

  • LET'S START THE MYANMAR DAILY SHOW

  • >> FROM COMEDY CENTRAL NEW'S HEADQUARTERS IN NAYPYIDAW, THIS

  • IS THE MYANMAR DAILY SHOW WITH TREVOR NOAH!

  • >> Trevor: WELCOME!

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪♪

  • WELCOME TO THE MYANMAR DAILY SHOW, I'M TREVOR NOAH!

  • MY GUEST TONIGHT, WHOEVER THE MILITARY TELLS ME MY GUEST IS.

  • FIRST, OUR NYPYIDOR THE TRAFFIC ON THE NINES.

  • LOOKS CLEAR NOW BUT WE HEAR BRUCE IS PLANNING TO USE LANE 17

  • LATER TONIGHT, SO PLAN ACCORDINGLY, PEOPLE.

  • TURNING TO OUR TOP STORY, OUR LAST PARLIAMENTARY ELECTION LAST

  • WEEK, MILLIONS OF MYANMARTIANS HEADED TO THE POLLS FOR THIS

  • HISTORIC VOTE AND ONE WINNER WAS IMMEDIATELY CLEAR, THE MYANMAR

  • CONTAINER STORE!

  • BOY, THEY MUST BE ROLLING IN BURMESE KYAT, WHICH AS YOU KNOW

  • IS OUR CURRENCY!

  • HA HA!

  • SEVERAL DAYS LATER THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION ARE COMING IN.

  • >> THE BALLOT COUNTING IS GRADUALLY COMING OUT.

  • THE NATIONAL LEAGUE WON 291 OF THE 359 DECLARED IN MYANMAR

  • PARLIAMENT.

  • >> NOW PEOPLE ARE DARING TO BELIEVE CHANGE MIGHT TRULY BE

  • COMING TO MYANMAR.

  • >> Trevor: WHAT A THRILLING VICTORY FOR THE OPPOSITION

  • PARTY.

  • BUT HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT GIANT RED CREATURE!

  • I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT!

  • KILL IT NOW!

  • ANYWAY, THIS WAS A BIG VICTORY FOR DEMOCRACY BUT WE HERE IN

  • MYANMAR HAVE A WAYS TO GO.

  • FOR EXAMPLE THE CONSTITUTION STILL GIVES MILITARY 25% OF THE

  • SEATS IN PARLIAMENT NO MATTER WHAT, WHICH IS RIDICULOUS

  • BECAUSE FOR TRUE DEMOCRACY, THE PEOPLE --

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • FOR TRUE DEMOCRACY, THE PEOPLE NEED A STRONG GUIDING HAND

  • FROM THE MILITARY!

  • WHICH IS ALWAYS WELCOME WITHIN THE REALM OF OUR GREAT NATION!

  • NOW SMILE AND END THE SHOW!

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR TONIGHT'S MYANMAR DAILY SHOW.

  • HERE IT IS, YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN!

  • ♪♪

BEFORE WE DO THE MYANMAR DAILY SHOW, IT'S NICE TO GET FAMILIAR

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