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We spend a lot of time in relationships pointing out what's wrong with the other person and insisting on our blamelessness.
在一段關係中,我們花費了許多時間指責對方哪裡做錯,並堅持自己完美無缺。
We imagine that's a good strategy for getting what we want and for being happy in a couple, but that's nonsense.
我們認為這是能讓我們得到理想結果,並在一段關係中變得快樂的好策略,但這全是無稽之談。
Next time you feel strong enough that you can, for a moment, stop insisting you're always right, try a different tack.
下次你覺得還挺得住的時候,只要一下子就好,你可以停止堅持自己是對的,試試看另一種方式。
Out of the blue say: "sorry I'm so anxious", "sorry I lose my temper", "sorry I don't listen enough", "sorry I'm too preoccupied", "sorry I both want you close and push you away", "sorry I'm not always balanced, sane or mature".
突如其來的說:「對不起我太焦慮了。」、「對不起我情緒失控了。」、「對不起我沒有好好傾聽。」、「對不起我分心了。」、「對不起,我既想要你接近我,卻又把你推開。」、「對不起我不是一直都能夠權衡,也不夠理智,不夠成熟。」
You think that might weaken you, make you hostage to the partner's vengeance.
你認為道歉可能是在示弱,讓你被另一半的怨恨掌控。
It never does.
但事實並非如此。
Everything always gets better from that point.
在此之後,每件事情都會好轉的。
Give it a try.
下次試試看吧。
"Sorry I'm so crazy."
「對不起我太瘋狂了。」
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「進入我們的網站,看看更多書籍、文具、禮品和其他東西吧。」
[Join our 1 million followers and subscribe to our channel.]
「加入我們一百萬追蹤者的行列,並訂閱我們的頻道。」