FROM 11:30 TOW 12:30, THE "LATE SHOW" IS ON.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

COMMERCIALS ARE ON.

WE'RE HERE TO PROVIDE FILLER BETWEEN THE ADS.

I'M PROUD OF THAT ASSOCIATION, BECAUSE ADVERTISING HAS

PROFOUNDLY CHANGED THE WORLD.

FOR INSTANCE, BEFORE ADVERTISING, IF YOU TRIED TO BUY

INSURANCE FROM A DUCK, THEY WOULD THINK YOU WERE INSANE.

THAT IS WHY I'M EXCITED TO SEE MY FELLOW CELEBRITY, MATTHEW

McCONAUGHEY, REALLY EMBRACE ADVERTISING.

WE'VE ALL ENJOYED WHATEVER HE'S TALKING ABOUT IN THOSE LINCOLN

ADS.

( LAUGHTER ) HE REALLY SHOULD TURN THE AIR

CONDITIONING ON IN THAT CAR.

AND NOW, McCONAUGHEY HAS SIGNED ON AS CREATIVE DIRECTOR FOR WILD

TURKEY BOURBON.

AND IN ADDITION TO APPEARING ON CAMERA, HE WILL WRITE AND DIRECT

THE SPOTS.

AND HE'S ALSO RECORDING MUSIC FOR THE CAMPAIGN.

OKAY, MUSIC.

SO I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR WHISKEY WITH A CHASER OF THREE-MINUTE

BONGO SOLO.

( BONGOS ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

( PIANO ) >> Stephen: I COULD GO FOR

SOME WILD TURKEY RIGHT NOW.

PART OF THE REASON THEY HIRED McCONAUGHEY IS THAT HE KNOWS HOW

TO REACH THEIR CORE DEMO.

HE SAID HIMSELF, "MILLENNIALS, AND I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT, CAN

SMELL SOLICITATION."

OKAY, MATT, THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN SOLICITING

MILLENIALS.

NOT COOL, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE DOING IT IN A WAY THAT THEY CAN

SMELL.

BUT I INTERRUPTED MYSELF READING YOUR THEORY OF MILLENIALS AND

SOLICITATION.

"WILD TURKEY HASN'T CHANGED IN ALL THESE YEARS.

IT'S TOTALLY AUTHENTIC, AND THAT APPEALS TO MILLENNIALS."

HE'S RIGHT.

MILLENNIALS CRAVE AUTHENTICITY, ALMOST AS MUCH AS THEY CRAVE

COMMERCIALS.

WELL, I WILL NOT BE OUT-AUTHENTICKED, EVEN IF I HAVE

TO FAKE IT.

SO MATTHEW IS PROMOTING WILD TURKEY, SO I HAVE SINGED ON TO

WRITE, DIRECT, KEY GRIP, INTERN FOR, AND CRAFT SERVICE MY OWN AD

CAMPAIGN FOR SAVAGE COCK, 190-PROOF GRAIN ALCOHOL.

YEAH!

( APPLAUSE ) YOU ALL DOWN WITH THE COCK?

( LAUGHTER ) IT TAKES A LOOK.

Y OH, HEY.

IF WE MILLENNIALLS HATE ANYTHING, IT'S SOLICITATION.

WE DON'T TAKE KINDLY TO BEING TOLD WHAT TO BUY AND WHO TO BUY

IT FROM.

IT'S WHY WE WEAR CLOTHES THAT LOOK LIKE THEY WERE STOLEN FROM

THE GRAVE OF AN IRISH IMMIGRANT.

( LAUGHTER ) AND THAT'S WHY WE DRINK SAVAGE

COCK, 190-PROOF GRAIN ALCOHOL BECAUSE SAVAGE COCK REFUSES TO

PANDER TO US WITH THINGS LIKE SMOOTH FLAVOR AND POTABILITY.

MMM, HASHTAG #ORGANDAMAGE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) JUST LIKE YOU, SAVAGE COCK HAS

NEVER WATERED ITSELF DOWN FOR MASS APPEAL.

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THE DRINK OF AMERICAN REBELS AND TASTEMAKERS.

THAT'S WHAT DAVY CROCKETT DRANK, RIGHT BEFORE STICKING HIS HEAD

UP THAT RACCOON'S BUTT.

( LAUGHTER ) THOSE REBELS WERE JUST LIKE YOU:

THEY DIDN'T CARE WHETHER DRINKING SAVAGE COCK WAS COOL OR

VIRAL OR ADVISABLE.

SO HOIST A GLASS, MY FELLOW '90s KIDS, TO AUTHENTICITY, TO

REALNESS, AND NOT FALLING FOR ANY CHEAP ADVERTISING GIMMICKS.

BUT DON'T JUST TAKE IT FROM ME.

LISTEN TO THE TALKING TOILET, PARTY MOUTH.

>> SURF'S UP, KIDS!

SAVAGE COCK IS DOPE!

>> Stephen: OH, PARTY MOUTH!

OH, PARTY MOUTH!

YOU ARE trending.com!

SO NEXT TIME YOU TAKE AN AUTHENTIC INSTASELFIE, WHIP OUT

YOUR SAVAGE COCK, 190-PROOF GRAIN ALCOHOL!

>> PLEASE ENJOY RESPONSIBLY!