- I don't understand why people don't talk about it.

I'm not ashamed that my daughter chose that way to not be here.

I'm grief stricken that she's not with me.

- I'd left my phone in my room and I had 45 missed calls,

and I felt powerless.

- It was so shocking,

and so unbelievable,

but also before I'd even taken the call,

my phone lit up and knew what the call was about.

- I woke up the next morning at two.

Two policemen banging on my bedroom window.

So, I let them inside and they sat me down,

and they told me that my sister had been found.

- I wanted to double check everything.

That the right name came up.

- The police sergeant started talking to me.

And as soon as he started talking to me, it was just like my heart had ripped in two.

- It wasn't until quite a bit of time afterwards that the dust began to settle

and you kind of realize what's happened.

- Physical feeling of going, "Not, no. That's my daughter. My daughter is gone."

- I got to a point on Jared's birthday,

where I was worried about myself.

- I felt like going to join her.

- All the firsts, the first birthday, the first New Years,

the first Christmas,

it all just hits you when you least expect it.

- My heart's never felt the same.

It was a physical feeling,

of having a part of me taken away.

- I developed agoraphobia.

I developed severe anxiety, and general anxiety disorder.

I developed depression worse than I ever have in my entire life.

- It comes and goes in waves of feeling from sadness to, yeah just, of course, missing her.

- If you can just imagine one night or you stayed up crying,

or crying yourself to sleep over someone that's broken your heart.

Every single time that's happened, all at once.

And the feeling's never really gone away.

- It broke my heart.

- I think the biggest thing that I've taken from this experience is this sort of fragility of, of life.

Particularly when it comes to mental health,

and not having services around you.

- That mental health is not a weakness.

- People to this day, are still sweeping this under the rug.

People are still not talking about it.

People are still pretending it's not happening.

- There's nothing wrong about speaking out.

There's nothing wrong with having a cry.

There's nothing wrong with having a hug.

And it's, not wait to speak.

- So, I think dialogue is the key.

I think conversation is the key.

I think asking your friends if they're okay,

and then listening is the key.

- It's really made me realize how important it is to reach out to any loved ones,

to talk about things more, express feelings,

and just be there for each other.

- My entire baseline of who I am has changed.

She was my only sibling, so she was my best friend for 20-odd years.

I feel like I'm not the same person as I was, and I think a lot of people expect you to kind of bounce back to become the same person, but I'm never gonna be them again.

My whole experience of life has changed.

- I don't think it's ever going be normal for me.

- And if this reaches just one person

who was just like me,

I just want them to know that they're not alone.

- You're not thinking about what you leave behind,

but the aftermath just goes on forever.

- Look after yourselves, look after each other,

and life's really short.

Just enjoy it.

(slow, melancholy music)