Volume four. Things Asian parents do. Let's go!

Asian parents never give their kids the talk.

Mom? Tyler's parents talked to him about the birds and the bees. What is that?

What? The bees?

The birds! And then they all die! ((No good!))

Asian parents don't ask you about your romantic relationships.

They're not tryin' to hear that!

Hey mom?

Yes?

- So, there's this one girl at school that I've- - Good grades!

What?

Grades! How are you grades?

They're fine, but I- there's this- I'd know her for a long time-

I only worry about good grades!

- But what about when you were younger? Like, was it-

- Good grades! Okay? Worry about that.

Asian parents love storing very small amounts of food as leftovers. Don't waste food!

Hey mom, I'm hungry.

Oh, good! I got lots, lots, lots of chicken for you! Here!

Great!

Eat!

There's nothing that an Asian parent loves more than the idea of you becoming a doctor.

- Mom, I've been thinking about what I wanna do with my life.

- Doctor.

- Well, what if I wa- told you I wanted to be an actor. - Doctor

- Well, what if I wanted to be a- a- a- - Doctor.

- Pas- - Doctor

- But what if I told you I wanted to be like the President? - Doctor. Doctor.

I- what if I don't wanna be a doctor?

Fine. You can be a surgeon.

Most Asian parents will flip out if you have earrings or a tattoo.

Where they're from in Asia, these are horrible things.

Hey mom? I've been thinking. I kinda wanna get some earrings.

No!

Well, what if I wanna get like a small tattoo? Just right-

No! You no (( )). And you know about that life! Okay?

They love refilling used water bottles with tap water. So that you think it's that water.

Bye mom! Later!

Wait. Some water. You'll be thirsty.

Oh! That's just tap water.

Save the bottle! Don't throw it away.

Asian parents hate wasting food, so they almost never throw things away.

Mom, this yogurt expired two years ago.

Why don't you try it before you say anything.

It's two years old!

Okay. Okay. You can throw it away. You fancy...pantsy!

Oh!

In America, we like to drink ice cold water. In Asia, that's a health risk.

Mom, why don't you keep the filter in the fridge 'cause th- the water's gonna get warm.

Ice water's not good for you! It'll freeze your stomach! I'm so cold!

Asian mom's are not afraid to call you out on your acne. I guess they just care.

Oh, son.

What? What? Mom. Mom. What's wrong? Mom. What- wha-

Oh, you have pimples. How can you go out?

It's okay! It's not a big deal! Gosh.

Ooh.

Asian parents expect nothing but good news from colleges.

Letter from Yale? Oh! If you get accepted, we'll mortgage the house to pay for your tuition, son.

- Oh, I got denied. - Oh. Oh.

Asian moms know then when you gossip about people, you should do it very quietly.

Low-cal-

Boys, I have some news. Mr. and Mrs. Lee are getting a divorce. It's true.

Mom, why are you whispering?

Sh! The window is open. Somebody can hear me and then Mrs. Wong's next door neighbor-

she's gonna tell the other neighbors. The whole street will know.

Then what am I going to do?

They're gonna point me out that I'm the one that's gossiping, okay?

You have to be very, very, very discrete. Okay?

Is she serious?

Asian parents love asking you a bunch of questions about what you just did with your friends.

Stop interrogating me! I'm not a criminal!

- Hey mom! - Oh, it's so late! Where did you guys go?

We went to Jake's house.

What were you doing there?

We were playing video games.

- What game? - NBA 2K13.

What team?

Miami versus Lakers.

What did Kobe score?

Like-

Was there girls? Was there drugs? Did you smoke marijuana?

What?

- What? - Come on!

The last thing that an Asian mom wants you to feel is to feel cold.

- Bye mum! - See you later, mum!

Wait, wait, wait. Take jacket! Come on!

Mom, it's, like, a hundred degrees outside.

It will get cold at night! Go. Bye!

- Bye - Man

Asian parents have this weird thing where they tell you to eat, eat, eat...

and then they tell you that your fat.

Eat, eat, eat. Growing boy!

Okay. By the way, you're getting too fat. Okay? Watch the belly.

The f-

To a lot of Asian parents, most American food is really sweet.

Mm!

Mm!

Mm!

Ooh!

Too sweet. Too sweet.

Asian parents want their kids to be amazing at musical instruments

but never want them to become actual musicians.

You so amazing...like Beethoven, son.

Thanks, mom. Wh- what if I became a concert pianist?

Are you crazy? I gave you piano lesson so that you can go to good college.

Thank you for watching this video. Subscribe to our channel.

'Cause we got number five comin' out. Peace.

I'm like, girl what you eatin' for today. Put that bread down. Let's go run away.

'Cause I'm Asian. I don't know if you could tell. I eat a few things that (( )) don't sell.

(( )) applies to me or a couple of Asian girl friends that I know.

So, this list is Asian girl approved.

So don't hate us.