Hello! Welcome home, Nick.

Your new home update is ready for viewing.

Are you serious?

I just got used to the way you had it before.

Just let me know when you're ready to begin the tour.

Okay.

As you can see, we've made some changes to improve the functionality of your living room environment.

Wait... no! Where's the other half of my couch?

- What is this chair thing? I don't... - We've decreased the size of your Television to make room for your new Bookcase.

No, I had a 60-inch TV! What? Can we just put the...

Just let me know when you're ready to move on.

Okay.

Check out your new bedroom.

We've consolidated your Photos and Music into one convenient location.

Hohoho... Dude, you didn't say you were so chubby in high school.

Man, do you listen to anything besides Top 40?

How did you guys get in here?

Friends and Friends of Friends now have better access to you through your new Privacy Door.

No! I said in the last update that I didn't want anybody in here.

Get out! Now!

I haven't talked to you in six years.

And I don't know who you are.

Would you stop resetting my privacy settings every time?

I see you've found your new Privacy Window.

It allows for anyone on Earth to see what you're up to.

Whenever they want!

No! I said I don't want anything like this!

Would you please...

Just let me know when you're ready to move on.

Finally, we've combined your dining room and social media center.

Now it's way easier for your friends to keep you in the know.

Nick! Hi! Can you come to my birthday party?

Nick! Would you vote for my brother in his contests?

Nick! Would you come to my improv show tonight?

No! I'm not going to any of those.

No!

Stop it!

Is this tour done? Because I'm getting sick of all these.

What is that thing in my kitchen?

We've taken your cat and replaced it with a dog.

No!

No!!!

We've also changed your walls around.

These are just ads! What?!!

If you look here...

No! We're ending the tour.

Okay.

Motherfxxx...