("Quirky and Funny Chacha"

by Warner/Chappell Production Music)

- [Voiceover] You have two holes.

- [Voiceover] Tampons don't actually take your virginity.

- [Voiceover] I wish I'd known that my mom would tell

literally everyone about how I had become a woman,

and they would mention it to me in casual conversation.

- [Voiceover] You can still swim, and there is absolutely

no shame.

- [Voiceover] And the chunks, man.

The chunks.

So grossly satisfying.

- [Voiceover] Before I got period,

I thought it was like pee.

You could hold it in and then release it into the toilet.

Oh, was I wrong.

(toilet flushes)

You are continually bleeding through tampons.

Do not be afraid of super plus.

(growling)

- [Voiceover] You're not supposed to actually stick the whole

tampon applicator inside your vagina.

- [Voiceover] Nobody can see your pad.

- [Voiceover] Cramps will be a legit excuse

to get out of everything.

- [Voiceover] Some day you will absentmindedly

use two tampons.

Everything will be okay when you discover said error.

- [Voiceover] The checkout person at the drugstore

does not give a (bleep) about the fact

that you are buying tampons.

- [Voiceover] I wish I knew to be careful when buying

cute underwear because eventually they will be sacrificed

to the period goddesses.

- [Voiceover] Even though getting your period is

really annoying, it's actually a good thing

and means your body's working.

("Quirky and Funny Chacha"

by Warner/Chappell Production Music)