where I work as a curator.

我在這裡擔任館長

It's my job to make sure the collection stays okay,

我的職責是確保館藏的狀況維持良好

and that it grows,

同時要讓數量成長

and basically it means I collect dead animals.

也就是說，我蒐集死掉的動物

Back in 1995,

回到1995年

we got a new wing next to the museum.

我們博物館的旁邊多了一個新的別館

It was made of glass,

它是由玻璃建構而成

and this building really helped me to do my job good.

這棟建築對我的工作有很大的幫助

The building was a true bird-killer.

這棟建築是一個鳥類殺手

You may know that birds don't understand

你們應該知道鳥對於玻璃

the concept of glass. They don't see it,

是沒有甚麼概念的，他們看不到它

so they fly into the windows and get killed.

所以他們飛行時撞到玻璃後就死了

The only thing I had to do was go out,

我所要做的，只是走出去

pick them up, and have them stuffed for the collection.

然後把它們撿起來，再把填充物加進去，就變成我的收藏品了

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And in those days,

在那些日子，

I developed an ear to identify birds

我開始能夠從我的耳朵分辨是甚麼鳥類

just by the sound of the bangs they made against the glass.

從它們撞上玻璃所發出的聲音就可以知道了

And it was on June 5, 1995,

那是在1995年6月5日

that I heard a loud bang against the glass

玻璃傳來了一聲巨響

that changed my life and ended that of a duck.

這改變了我的一生同時也終結了一隻鴨子的生命

And this is what I saw when I looked out of the window.

這是當時我從窗外看出去時的景象

This is the dead duck. It flew against the window.

這是一隻死鴨子，牠在飛行的時候撞上了玻璃

It's laying dead on its belly.

牠腹部朝下的死在地上

But next to the dead duck is a live duck,

但在死鴨子旁邊的是一隻活著的鴨子

and please pay attention.

請注意

Both are of the male sex.

這兩隻都是雄性

And then this happened.

然後發生了一件事

The live duck mounted the dead duck,

活鴨子爬到死鴨子的身上

and started to copulate.

並開始交媾

Well, I'm a biologist. I'm an ornithologist.

我是一個生物學家，我也是一個鳥類學家

I said, "Something's wrong here."

我說 " 這其中一定有甚麼問題 "

One is dead, one is alive. That must be necrophilia.

一隻已死去，一隻還活著。 這一定就是姦屍了

I look. Both are of the male sex.

我看了一看，兩隻都是公的

Homosexual necrophilia.

同性戀姦屍

So I -- (Laughter)

所以我 -- (笑聲)

I took my camera, I took my notebook,

我拿起我的相機，我拿起我的筆記型電腦

took a chair, and started to observe this behavior.

拿了張椅子，然後開始觀察這個現象

After 75 minutes — (Laughter) —

75分鐘後 (笑聲)

I had seen enough, and I got hungry,

我覺得我看夠了，肚子同時也餓了

and I wanted to go home.

然後我就有點想回家

So I went out, collected the duck,

所以我走了出去，把鴨子拿起來

and before I put it in the freezer,

在我把牠放到冰箱之前

I checked if the victim was indeed of the male sex.

我確認了這個受害者確實是隻公的鴨子

And here's a rare picture of a duck's penis,

這是一張很稀有的鴨子陰莖的照片

so it was indeed of the male sex.

所以牠真的是隻公鴨子

It's a rare picture because there are 10,000 species of birds

這照片很少見是因為世界上有10,000種的鳥類

and only 300 possess a penis.

但只有三百種擁有陰莖

[The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves:Anatidae)]

[ 鴨屬綠頭鴨 Anas platyrhynchos(學名) 同性戀姦屍的首例 ]

I knew I'd seen something special,

我知道我看到了很特殊的事件

but it took me six years to decide to publish it.

但它花了我六年的時間決定是否要發表它

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I mean, it's a nice topic for a birthday party

我的意思是，這是在生日派對上很好的一個話題

or at the coffee machine,

或是在咖啡機旁邊

but to share this among your peers is something different.

但是要對你們這樣的知識分子分享這項發現，是不太一樣的

I didn't have the framework.

我的主題沒有一個框架

So after six years, my friends and colleagues urged me to publish,

所以六年後，我的朋友和同事都鼓勵我發表它

so I published "The first case of homosexual necrophilia

所以我就發表了 "鴨屬綠頭鴨

in the mallard."

同性戀姦屍的首例 "

And here's the situation again.

這是事發當時的場景

A is my office,

A是我的辦公室

B is the place where the duck hit the glass,

B是鴨子撞到玻璃的地方

and C is from where I watched it.

C是我觀察的地方

And here are the ducks again.

再來看看鴨子們吧

As you probably know, in science,

你可能知道，在科學領域中

when you write a kind of special paper,

當你寫了那種很特殊的論文時

only six or seven people read it.

只有六或七個人會去讀它

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But then something good happened.

但一些好事發生了

I got a phone call from a person called Marc Abrahams,

一個叫 馬克‧亞伯拉罕 的人打了電話給我

and he told me, "You've won a prize with your duck paper:

他告訴我 " 你的鴨子論文為你贏得了一座獎

the Ig Nobel Prize."

那就是 搞笑諾貝爾獎 "

And the Ig Nobel Prize —

而搞笑諾貝爾獎

(Laughter) (Applause) —

(笑聲+掌聲)

the Ig Nobel Prize honors research

搞笑諾貝爾獎將榮譽頒給

that first makes people laugh, and then makes them think,

那些帶給人們歡笑的研究，這些研究會讓人們去思考

with the ultimate goal to make more people

此研究的最終目標是讓更多的人

interested in science.

對科學產生興趣

That's a good thing, so I accepted the prize.

這是一件好事，所以我接受了這座獎項

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I went -- let me remind you that Marc Abrahams

我去 ...讓我提醒你們一下，馬克‧亞伯拉罕

didn't call me from Stockholm.

不是從瑞典的斯德哥爾摩打給我的

He called me from Cambridge, Massachusetts.

他是從馬薩諸塞州劍橋市打給我的

So I traveled to Boston, to Cambridge,

所以我就前往波士頓，到了劍橋市

and I went to this wonderful Ig Nobel Prize ceremony

然後我參加了美妙的搞笑諾貝爾獎典禮

held at Harvard University, and this ceremony

它在哈佛大學裡面舉辦，而這個典禮

is a very nice experience.

給我一個很好的經驗

Real Nobel laureates hand you the prize.

你會從真的諾貝爾得獎者手中接過獎盃

That's the first thing.

這是第一件事

And there are nine other winners who get prizes.

然後，這裡有其他九位也獲獎的人

Here's one of my fellow winners. That's Charles Paxton

這是其中一位獲獎的同伴。這是 查爾斯·帕克斯頓

who won the 2000 biology prize for his paper,

他的論文讓他獲得了2000年的生物學獎

"Courtship behavior of ostriches towards humans

"鴕鳥在英國的耕作條件下

under farming conditions in Britain."

對人類的求偶行為"

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And I think there are one or two more

我想在這裡有一或兩位以上的

Ig Nobel Prize winners in this room.

搞笑諾貝爾獎得主在這房間

Dan, where are you? Dan Ariely?

丹，你在哪裡? 丹·阿雷利?

Applause for Dan.

給丹一點掌聲吧

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Dan won his prize in medicine

丹在醫藥領域得到了他的獎項

for demonstrating that high-priced fake medicine

因為他展示了，高價位的假藥

works better than low-priced fake medicine.

比低價位的假藥來的有效

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So here's my one minute of fame,

這是我榮耀的一刻

my acceptance speech,

我的得獎感言

and here's the duck.

這就是那頭鴨子

This is its first time on the U.S. West Coast.

這是我第一次在美國西岸

I'm going to pass it around.

將這個東西讓大家傳閱

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Yeah?

是的

You can pass it around.

你們可以到處傳閱

Please note it's a museum specimen,

請注意他是博物館的樣本

but there's no chance you'll get the avian flu.

你們不會因為他得到禽流感

After winning this prize, my life changed.

在贏得這座獎項之後，我的人生因此改變

In the first place, people started to send me

首先，人們開始

all kinds of duck-related things,

將各式各樣有關鴨的東西寄給我

and I got a real nice collection.

我因此得到一個很不錯的收藏品

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

More importantly,

更重要的是

people started to send me their observations

人們開始把他們觀察到的

of remarkable animal behavior,

不尋常的動物行為寄給我

and believe me, if there's an animal misbehaving on this planet,

相信我，在這個星球上，如果有一隻動物有不正常的行為

I know about it.

我一定會知道的

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

This is a moose.

這是一隻麋鹿

It's a moose trying to copulate

一隻麋鹿試著和

with a bronze statue of a bison.

銅製野牛像交媾

This is in Montana, 2008.

這是在蒙大拿州，2008年

This is a frog that tries to copulate with a goldfish.

這是一個青蛙試著和一隻金魚交媾

This is the Netherlands, 2011.

這是在荷蘭，2011年

These are cane toads in Australia.

這些是在澳洲的海蟾蜍

This is roadkill.

橫死街頭

Please note that this is necrophilia.

請註明，這也是姦屍案

It's remarkable: the position.

這很不簡單，看看牠們的姿勢

The missionary position is very rare in the animal kingdom.

傳教士體位在動物王國是非常罕見的

These are pigeons in Rotterdam.

這些是在鹿特丹的鴿子

Barn swallows in Hong Kong, 2004.

在香港的家燕，2004年

This is a turkey in Wisconsin

這是在威斯康辛州的火雞

on the premises of the Ethan Allen juvenile correctional institution.

位於伊森‧艾倫少年管束院的校舍

It took all day,

牠們花了一整天的時間

and the prisoners had a great time.

在那裏的犯人過了一段美好的時間

So what does this mean?

所以，這些代表甚麼意思?

I mean, the question I ask myself,

我的意思是，我問我自己

why does this happen in nature?

大自然中為什麼會發生這種事

Well, what I concluded

我不斷地複習這些案例

from reviewing all these cases

而得到的結論是

is that it is important that this happens

這些事情發生的關鍵點

only when death is instant

在於死亡發生得很突然

and in a dramatic way

而且是很戲劇化的

and in the right position for copulation.

同時它們的姿勢要剛好適合交媾

At least, I thought it was till I got these slides.

至少，我當初是這麼推論的，直到我拿到這些幻燈片

And here you see a dead duck.

你可以看到一隻死掉的鴨子

It's been there for three days,

它在那邊已經三天了

and it's laying on its back.

並且是背靠地上的躺著

So there goes my theory of necrophilia.

我的姦屍理論就這樣被推翻了

Another example of the impact

另一個衝撞玻璃

of glass buildings on the life of birds.

導致死亡的鳥類案例

This is Mad Max, a blackbird who lives in Rotterdam.

這是瘋狂麥克斯，一個生活在鹿特丹的黑鳥

The only thing this bird did was fly against this window

這些鳥唯一做的事就是往玻璃衝撞

from 2004 to 2008, day in and day out.

從2004到2008年，日復一日

Here he goes, and here's a short video.

牠要開始了，這裡是一個短片

(Music) (Clunk)

(音樂) (碰)

(Clunk)

(碰)

(Clunk)

(碰)

(Clunk)

(碰)

So what this bird does

這個鳥正在做的

is fight his own image.

是和牠自己玻璃中的反射打鬥

He sees an intruder in his territory,

牠看到的是在牠領土中的入侵者

and it's coming all the time and he's there,

而且牠不斷地出現也不離開

so there is no end to it.

所以這沒有結束的一天

And I thought, in the beginning -- I studied this bird for a couple of years --

然後我當初一開始在想....我研究這種鳥有幾年的時間

that, well, shouldn't the brain of this bird be damaged?

這樣子，鳥的腦子不會因此受傷嗎?

It's not. I show you here some slides,

牠不會，我秀給你們看一些幻燈片

some frames from the video,

這是影片中的鳥撞上玻璃前

and at the last moment before he hits the glass,

那一刻的影格

he puts his feet in front,

牠把腳伸到了前方

and then he bangs against the glass.

然後就砰的一聲撞上了玻璃

So I'll conclude to invite you all to Dead Duck Day.

所以，最後，我要邀請你們到死鴨日

That's on June 5 every year.

那是每一年的六月五號

At five minutes to six in the afternoon,

下午六點五分

we come together at the Natural History Museum in Rotterdam,

我們一起來到了鹿特丹的自然歷史博物館

the duck comes out of the museum,

將鴨子從博物館拿出來

and we try to discuss new ways

我們來討論新的方式

to prevent birds from colliding with windows.

以避免鳥類去衝撞玻璃

And as you know, or as you may not know,

如你所知，或者你們可能不知道

this is one of the major causes of death

這是世界上

for birds in the world.

鳥類的主要死因

In the U.S. alone, a billion birds die

單單在美國，有十億隻鳥類

in collision with glass buildings.

因為衝撞玻璃建築而死

And when it's over, we go to a Chinese restaurant

當事情發生後，我們去中國餐館

and we have a six-course duck dinner.

來道一鴨六吃的晚餐

So I hope to see you

所以我希望

next year in Rotterdam, the Netherlands,

明年在鹿特丹，在荷蘭

for Dead Duck Day.

能看到你們參與死鴨日

Thank you.

謝謝你們。

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Oh, sorry.

啊，抱歉

May I have my duck back, please?

我可以把我的鴨子拿回來嗎?拜託

(Laughter) (Applause)

(笑聲)(掌聲)

Thank you.

謝謝各位