SHOOTING A GUN

(gun shot)

EXPECTATION

(gun shot)

REALITY

BLOCKING A PUNCH

(knuckles cracking)

EXPECTATION

(knuckles cracking)

- Ow, dude! What the hell?! - What?

- So hard?! - But you blocked it.

Oh yeah?

- Oww! - See?

(together) OWWW!

REALITY

WALKING AWAY FROM EXPLOSIONS

(lighting match)

♪ (heavy metal) ♪

EXPECTATION

No.

Damn it.

AAAAAH!

REALITY

CHASE ON FOOT

Nibs McGee?

♪ (intense dubstep) ♪

EXPECTATION

Nibs McGee?

♪ (silly music) ♪

(groaning)

(indistinct conversation)

(groaning)

REALITY

CAR CHASE

(revs engine)

(wheels screeching)

EXPECTATION

Oh, damn!

REALITY

FIGHTING A GROUP OF FOUR PEOPLE

(bones crack)

EXPECTATION

Alright, Shawn, you're first!

Hit him as hard as you can!

Greg, give him a Karate chop right in his neck!

- Alright. - (ringleader) And you...

Kick him right in his groin!

- You're gonna squeeze him as hard as you can! - Wait? Me? No, no--you.

(overlapping conversation)

I'm going out first?

(laughter)

That's not a bad idea.

Wait, guys...why don't we all just attack him at the same time?

(cheering)

REALITY

FIGHTING A NINJA

(cocks gun)

Oh!

EXPECTATION

REALITY

BAD GUY'S AIM

(gun shots in slow motion)

(rapid gunfire)

Huh?

Aiii!

(rapid gunfire)

EXPECTATION

(rapid gunfire)

(all congratulate each other)

REALITY

DYING LAST WORDS

- Ryan? - I'm not gonna make it, Jean.

- Don't you talk like that. - I never told you--

- What is it? - That I love you.

- What? - I had to tell you before I...

No...no.

I love you too.

EXPECTATION

- Ryan? - I'm not gonna make it, Jean.

- Don't you talk like that. - I never told you--

- What is it? - I left my soda can in the freezer.

- What? - Left the can of soda in the freezer.

If you don't take it out, it's gonna explode!

Can of soda--what?!

Who cares about that?

You've just been shot!

You don't understand.

If you don't take it out, it's going to go everywhere.

I don't care about the freezer.

- I don't care about the stupid can of Coke! - It's actually a Sprite.

- I care about you. - I hate Coke, remember?

Because I love you.

- (pretends to die) - What? What're you doing?

Ryan? This isn't funny.

I know you're still alive.

I can feel your pulse.

You know what?

Even if you do live through this, don't expect me to be around anymore.

And I hope that stupid Coke does explode in your freezer, you jerk!

Jean...

It's a Sprite.

(death rattle)

REALITY

DISARMING A BOMB

Damn it, Charlie! Is it the blue one or the red one?

Just cut one.

Red? Blue? White? Black? Which one?

Any one! Cut the white one.

Wait, it can't be the white one, Charlie.

- Cut the blue one. - It's not the blue one either.

- Red? - I'm telling you, Charlie, it's not the red one.

Then it has to be the black one!

- Whoa...what the hell, man. - What?

- That is racist. - What?!

You think just because it's the black one that's the one that needs to be cut?

What are you talking about?

That was the last one I told you to cut!

You should hear yourself right now.

You sound like a racist basketball coach.

Listen, we are running out of time.

- Just cut the f*cking wire! - Fine! This was your choice.

Not mine!

(screaming)

- You did it? - I did it!

- You did it! - I DID IT!

- YOU DID IT! - (screaming)

EXPECTATION

Damn it, Charlie, is it the blue one or the red one?

Don't cut any of them. Just flip it over.

- Flip it over? - Okay, now take out the batteries.

Alright, the batteries are out.

It's still counting down, Charlie.

Alright, well, look for an outlet around you.

- Got it. - Plugged in?

- Yes. - Okay, so unplug it.

Okay...

- Still counting down, Charlie. - Damn it! Alright, listen...

I want you to just cut all the wires at once.

- What?! - Wires are what makes it work.

If you cut them all at once, it'll probably mess something up.

What?! Are you crazy? I'm not gonna do that.

- I'm just-- - YOLO.

Okay.

(exhales sharply)

- I did it! - You did it!

- I did it! - He did iiiiiiit!

Okay, so...now that the alarm clock is off,

what do you want me to do with the bomb?

(bomb ticks)

(static)

REALITY

THE GUN KICK

EXPECTATION

REALITY

THE EPIC CRAWL

Get up against the wall! Turn around.

(groaning)

Yeah! Home run.

You know, I expected a lot more out of you.

(bat clatters)

It was too easy.

So easy that I could pour myself a cup of delicious tea.

I can enjoy this cup of tea carefree without even being worried about

being interrupted midsenten--

EXPECTATION

(bat clatters)

It was too easy.

So easy that I could pour myself a cup of delicious tea.

I could enjoy this cup of tea carefree without even being interrupted midsent--

REALITY

THE COOL LAST LINE AFTER SHOOTING THE BAD GUY FOLLOWED BY AN EPIC SLOW MOTION WALK AWAY

(groaning in pain)

Wipe yourself off, man.

You dead.

EXPECTATION

Without even being interrupted midsent--

Wipe yourself off, man. You dead.

Aren't you supposed to say that after you shoot me?

- It's just been revoked! - Again, I get the Lethal Weapon Two

- reference, but that's supposed to happen af-- - Long live the king.

Okay, well that one actually did happen before the kill

but Lion King doesn't really have nothing to do--

(groaning in pain)

Tea, huh?

More like tee hee.

Oh.

(static)

Are you kidding? You did it?!

(cheering)

Okay, so now that the alarm clock is off,

what do you want me to do with the bomb?

(bomb ticks)

(grunts)

Too easy.

(rumbling)

Tea, huh? More like tee---

HEEEEE!

TEEHEE

So thank you guys again so much for watching.

If you want to see the behind-the-scenes and bloopers, click the one on the left.

If you want to see the last Expectations VS Reality--

I think it was like relationships or something--

click the one on the right.

And that's all there is to click today.

So...yeah.