Son, it's time for bed.

But daddy, I'm having such a good game.

James, it's far too late for boys of your age to be up. It‘s 12:37 at night

But I'm not even sleepy! Can't I have a story first?

(sigh) alright, just one though.

Now, what would you like me to read you?

Peter Rabbit?

Mmmmm...

Goldilocks and the Three Bears?

Hmmm...

How about...

The Story of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election?

YES! That one! That one! That one! Yes!

Alright.

Once upon the time, in a land called America

where there were states of blue to the North and states of red to the South

And a beautiful White House in between

Lived a lady, who wanted to rule the kingdom very much

Very very much

Some would say, too much...

And she wore a jacket of beige

and trousers of beige

and shoes of beige

And she walked the land telling everyone that would listen

that she was the best ruler for that land

even though her husband has once ruled that kingdom

this kingdom had never been ruled by a lady

And so she set up a long journey to that beautiful White House

but along the way she got lost in a forest

A scary forest?

Scariest forest!

In this forest, there were lots of computers

And all those computers...are EMAILS!

Emails?

Yes, emails.

But, the lady had special power to make them disappear

Disappear? Where did they go?

Nobody knows, son.

apparently neither did she.

And also there were scary creatures in that forest

There were trolls, and a fox who delivered BAD news

The news FOX

And, house selected committee on Benghazi

BENGHAZI!

Things got scary, very scary for the lady

She was nearly defeated by an old old man with hair of white and face like wizard

He said he could take from the rich and give to the poor

no matter how impossible his plans were

He sounds cool!

But even she when she got passed those creatures the lady still wasn't out of the forest

for standing between her and the beautiful White House was the most terrifying creature of all

The BIG-ORANGE-MONSTER!

Was his face orange or was his hair orange?

Somehow son...BOTH

So this orange monster had already swallowed 16 other monsters in the forest

A prince named Jeb who thought that the land should belong to him

A sleeping beauty named Ben, who only spoke with his eyes closed

And a Texas senator named Ted, who came from the Tea party

Oh! a tea party! Can we have a tea party, daddy?

James! Focus! I'm telling you a story.

Still, nobody expected the orange monster to rule the land because although his head was very very big

his wisdom was very very tiny, like his tiny tiny baby hands

And whenever he was told that he couldn't rule the land

the orange monster said

I'll huff...and I'll puff...and put a ban on all Muslims

He could do that?

well, he wanted to

Because even though the America was a diverse land of opportunity, the monster wanted to build a big giant wall

A wall?

A wall to keep out boys and girls from far away lands like Mexico

Even Mexico?

Especially Mexico

For the monster didn't care for anybody who wasn't like him

Not Mexicans, not the kingdom's black president

not even Rosie O'Donnell

The comedian Rosie O'Donnell? But why?

Because James, she's a LADY

And since the orange monster's so cruel to so many ladies

the stakes in this 2016 presidential election were very very high

But if any future monster wanted to say boys and girls aren't equal

Americans would know that the lady, with beige trousers suit, made it through the scary forest

and passed the orange monster, and all the way to the beautiful White House

The end? But daddy, did the lady make it to the White House?

Tell me did the lady make it to the big White House?

We can't tell it yet son...

neither can the polls

Let's just hope that when you wake up in the morning every man and woman in the America has turned out to vote

Because no matter what your political affiliations are, you have a civic duty to vote

and as long as you do, no one can tell you that this election was rigged

Where...where are you looking daddy?

no one in particular..that's it

Good night

But daddy... the big orange monster won't grab me in the night, will he?

Of course not, son

What about my Pussy?

Will he try to grab my Pussy?

ehhh...

good night, son!