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  • I'm noticin' a spike

  • in Disney related videos here on YouTube

  • I ain't complait-in'

  • All I'm sayin' is... none of y'all turkeys love Disney more than me

  • I just can't be up on here every week talking about Tangled

  • and Brave

  • That's going to hurt my street cred!

  • I be going to the cypher

  • I cant be in the middle of a freestyle battle and have these dudes

  • clowning on me

  • Lemme tell what kind of cast member I was. I would work my 8-hour shift at Disney, clock out

  • and hang out at the park the rest of the day until the park closes

  • by myself!

  • Waka Flocka: ♫I go hard in the

  • pa - pa - paint ♫♫

  • I do miss workin' at Disney, I'm not gonna lie

  • However, comma, there's some thing I won't miss. For example,

  • I won't miss how everybody and their mom would be hittin' me up asking for free tickets.

  • Gettin' phone calls at 6:00 in the morning like

  • "Hey bud, I'm gonna need you to meet me at the gate tomorrow, I'll need aboooouuuuut.... 15 passes."

  • "Uh... [sigh]... who is this?"

  • "[scoff] It's me, Charlie"

  • "Remember that time I gave you gum in school that one time?"

  • "Anyways, I was driving by a playground, and I saw these kids and I was like"

  • "'Hey! Who wants to go to Disney? I know a guy!' I don't even know any of these kids."

  • "So if you could just meet us tomorrow -- hold on, hold on."

  • Charlie: "Amelia, put down that knife!"

  • Charlie: "I knew I shouldn't have let you guys watch Fight Club!"

  • Charlie: "Adande, let me call you back."

  • But something else I miss, I missed cast member relationship drama.

  • You know how many Disney employees would only date other employees? Like I'm sure you guys have heard friends make a pact like

  • "Ok, if I'm single, and you're single, and we both turn 30, we're just gonna get married, ok?"

  • At Disney here's how it goes:

  • "If I'm single, and you're single, in.... mmmm.....I dunno, 30 seconds, yeah, we should date."

  • "If -- er -- I can't even wait that long. I've already changed my Facebook status, it's offish. It's Facebook offish."

  • If you're a straight single guy working at the Disney parks

  • you have like a 98 percent chance of getting a girlfriend if you get hired. Here is why:

  • A number of really good looking guys around you... don't even like girls. That eliminates a lot of competition right there.

  • And after that there's only really two other types of straight guys left at Disney:

  • There are the regular straight guys, and then you have the

  • "extra happy" straight guys.

  • They usually carry around a fanny pack, just in case they have to time travel back to 1998

  • they go to the park with their Kylo Ren doll and they push it around in a 'lil stroller

  • and they're really concerned about trading pins.

  • There's nothing wrong with these guys. It's just they're not really concerned with getting a girlfriend.

  • So I said you have a 98 percent chance, but in reality that's like a 3000 percent chance you have of getting a girl

  • coz there's virtually no competition, which kind of confused me

  • coz I had no girls, and I was not that guy.

  • Just one thing that happened to me at Disney, I'm sure this happened to some of you guys

  • you have coworkers that actually don't put forth that much energy, or maybe they put forth the same or even less

  • but they're the ones getting rewarded. So if you do anything and you like exceed expectations

  • you get what they call a Fanatic Card.

  • Everybody would get Fanatic Cards except for me.

  • There was one kid in the college program who was literally breaking rules and getting Fanatic Cards.

  • Be talking to the manager like "Man, you remember them cheerleaders that came thru last weekend?"

  • "Yeah, of course, how could I have not - of course I do!"

  • - "I got one of their phone numbers." - "That's great - omg, that's amazing!"

  • - "I went back to one of their hotel rooms." - "You're saying yes to a guest request."

  • - "I made out with her too." - "Oh, what?!"

  • - "Actually, I made out with two of them." - "You're just showing that you're a team player."

  • "That's what I love about you, you work well with others."

  • "And - you know, when I left their hotel room, I stole their purse."

  • "G Wilikers! You're going above and beyond the call of duty modern warfare."

  • "They had a hundred dollars in it too, and I bought some crack with it."

  • "That's - that's it, that's it, I'm giving you a Fanatic Card."

  • So one day, I just got bored.

  • I wasn't even trying to get a Fanatic card right?

  • Disney put this temporary Beach Ball Kiosk next to Indiana Jones,

  • And the guy who was running it was actually my boy Renee

  • So I got this idea, I went over to Renee

  • I'm like, "Renee. Lemme borrow one of these beach balls, son."

  • He gave me one of the big beach balls

  • And I walk into the theater and I tell everybody:

  • Hey guys is it cool if I pack everybody's section?

  • Now everyone at Epic hates packing the theater,

  • when you gotta get down front and yell in front of everyone

  • "Hey guys! Can you scoot in? Fill in all available space!"

  • Everybody hates doing that

  • I even hated doing that

  • So I get the beech ball and go down front

  • "Everyone! I need you guys to do me a favor"

  • "If you guys all scoot'n over here, then I'll do a back flip! Off of this rail"

  • Everybody scoots in. I get up, do a back flip (yay! *furious applause*)

  • This is a three-man job, I packed everybody's section, over twenty-two hundred people

  • By Myself!

  • Flocka: ♫ I go hard in the

  • pa-pa-paint ♫♫

  • Then once everybody was packed in, "since you guys have been so awesome, guess what? We gonna party!

  • And I bring out the beach ball, and throw it to the crowd and everybody's like crazy with the beach ball

  • EDM music festival up in this piece. Steven Aoki shows up and starts throwing cake

  • The manager got wind of this, I started doing this for every show.

  • You could tell they hated the idea, that I was having so much fun

  • I wish you would come down here and say something, I wish you would but you can't!

  • And not only that, after each show Renee has a line around the block of people tryna buy beach balls

  • Get on my level!

  • This happened every weekend for three weeks in a row

  • You think I got a fanatic card for this? Na!

  • The manager was so salty, they were making it obvious that they don't want me to get a fanatic card

  • Renee got a fanatic card for selling so many beach balls!

  • Kay, so they started handing out fanatic cards to the guests in line who don't even work here!

  • You know what, fluff it! Two tears in a bucket.

  • One weekend I go in there, I pack the theater, bust out the beach ball. And then the AV tech guy

  • Walks in and he's like "Uhh hey uuh whats your name tag say?"

  • "Ada- adalandaly-ada-adaline?"

  • "You can't be given em' the beach ball?"

  • "Oh yeah?! Why nah?"

  • "Uhh see we, the see the tech booth, right up, see right there? We got buttons, pyrotechnics and uhh pyrotechnics"

  • "Can't have the balls flying in there and it might push a button, might blow some stuff up."

  • "Uh yeah, I can't take the ball away right now because these guys are waiting for the bass drop."

  • "Uhhhhhhhhh yeah no."

  • "Yeah okay, here's an idea, how bout' I stand along the perimeter outside the tech booth"

  • "and as soon as the ball comes close, STOP!"

  • "Stiff arm! Just knock it away"

  • "Because I mean the ball weighs zero point negative five ounces anyways"

  • " So even if it landed in there... it wouldn't press any buttons"

  • "Listen Adele, uhhhhhhhh no."

  • And after they shut down all my fun, they went back to rewarding everyone else.

  • "Uh, uh uhhhh, errrr! Look at Steven! Look at em'!"

  • "He's role playing with the guests."

  • "He's not role playing!"

  • "He's Captain Hook, the little boy is Peter Pan"

  • "and the little boy stabbed him with a imaginary sword, and now he's-"

  • "Look at him he's role playing! He's playing dead!"

  • "The little kid pretended to stab him two hours ago! There's flies buzzing around his mouth!"

  • "He's over there taking a nap!"

  • Manager: "Stop hating, hater."

  • Manager: "Steven get up! Come back to the office with me, lemme give you a fanatic card!"

  • Manager: "Adande, look at 'im! He doesn't even want to break character for fanatic card!"

  • Manager:"Steven, okay, you know what Steven? You can stay right here I don't want to mess with your mojo"

  • "I'll go to the office, I'll come back with like, 15 fanatic cards!"

  • Swoozie! WOO (crowd cheering)

  • Where you guys from?

  • We're from Vancover

  • It's going down

  • (Music)

I'm noticin' a spike

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