You're like the least racist person I know.

Right.

Yeah, who's even racist anymore? Is that even a thing?

Hey, so what's it like growing up in the projects?

You know, I gotta tell you, you're pretty cool for a black dude. Like I feel totally safe right next to you.

Hey is it true what they say, like "Once you go black, you might get stabbed?"

I'm just saying, man, why don't we get our own month?

You know what n-word I hate? Negativity.

You know what n-word I do like? Knowledge.

Wait, you know your dad? Like your real dad?

Hey, I don't know what it's like in your neighborhood, but in our neighborhood, we don't litter.

Yeah, I know it's hard to hear but, I just feel like Obama didn't really do a good job.

Now, Bush, that was a president, right?

You didn't see Selma? But that's your history, man!

You're into rap, right? I love rap. I'm into it.

In West Philadelphia, born and raised. Where the playground was where I spent more of my days.

Oh man. You know who I love? Chris Rock. "Hey Shrek, Lemme get some waffles! Hercules, Hercules. I love Kevin Hart.

Man, you look just like that dude from Rush Hour! Uh, the actor, Lebron Cheadle?

You went to college, huh? Affirmative action, am I right?

So was it like a football scholarship or a basketball scholarship?

I always sit in the back, but that's just out of respect.

Every year, I take Martin Luther King Day off. Just 'cause I know what's up.

Not only do I eat crackers, I eat the fuck out of crackers.

-DaQuan, it's DaQuan right? -It's Winston.

Winston... I was close!

Yeah, you were real close.

Hello. My name is Luis. I should've taken off my shoes before I came in. I'm so sorry. You speak English right?

Can you help me? You're good at math, right?

Can you do my nails?

God, like I support you people. All my shit's made in China.

I'm not Chinese.

You're fucking with me.

Japanese?

Thai?

Filipino?

Vietnamese?

Korean?

Is Hawaii Asian?

Monlaysian?

Croasian?

But what's your Asian name though?

Susan.

Susan... That's the American version, but I mean, come on, is it like pronounced Su-song? Su-sang? Su-saaaang

When you come home, does your mom go, "Do the laundry! So-saaaaang!"

What belt are you? Bet you're a black belt.

So your parents are like always really disappointed in you?

Car insurance for you. It's gotta be pretty expensive, huh? I mean, how many accidents do you get in a month?

I bet it's really hard to pick one of you guys out of a line-up, right? It's not like in a racist way. It's just because you don't have like different color hair

Like everyone has black hair. You don't have blonde or redheads, and all the same eye color, and the same face shape, and personality...

Hey. Was that you standing outside of Home Depot last Saturday?

How do you feel now that you're in the mainland?

Does your abuela used to sing a lot to you?

When is Cinco de Mayo actually? Did I miss it?

I always have to figure out when it is on the calendar, and mark it, but I love it.

Hi Cinco. Get it? Whoo! You don't hit very hard for a Mexican.

So where are you from?

Detroit.

But where are you from?

Like Mexico? New Mexico?

What's your name again?

It's uh, George.

-Oh. Jorge. That's my gardener's name. Jorge. -George

I speak Spanish.

-It's George. Can you say it with me? George. -Jorge

Does your beard hair just naturally grow like that, or do you just draw it on, you know?

Oh my god, I love your food. I go to Taco Bell all the time.

Taco Tuesday! More like tacos every day!

So I went to this Mexican restaurant, and all their taco shells were like limp and pale.

So much for authentic right? You'd think Chipotle would know how to make Mexican food.

Wait a second. You've never eaten sushi?

I've assumed you just brought it for lunch. That'd be like me never eating a hamburger.

Who brought the fried chicken and watermelon? That's just rude! Am I right? Fucking white people.

Hey man. I know I said some insensitive things and...

And definitely treated you differently. Made some assumptions based on your ethnic background.

Truth is, you and I are different.

In the same way that like every human being is different from one another.

But we are also the same. You know, we're people.

We both deserve support, and we both deserve respect.

And I wasn't respectful to you.

I'm sorry if I offended you in any way man. That was not my intention.

Really sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's all good.

It's cool, man.

I don't know what we're doing at all. Okay. All right.

I'm sorry. I learned that in college.

Is racism even a thing?

Can you go make us some margaritas?

I come from a long line of racists. I'll have you know.

You know your dad?

America, do not stand for this racism.

I need you to band together, and tell these fuckers to go f**k themselves.

Look, you got this chain, little Pitbull chain.

I would've invited you to karaoke last night. I just figured that you were gonna like show everyone up.

You know what n-word I don't like. Nativity. I'm Jewish.